Alone again, naturally

In only a month of retirement, I've done plenty of gallivanting and I'm having a swell time. Always I'm looking for fun stuff and new things to do.

There's a pinball parlor in Seattle that lets you play all day for one admission, and walk-on only ferries across Elliott Bay, and I've discovered the world's finest sub sandwich shop, and I'm becoming a familiar face at the art/indy theaters, and frequently eating a picnic, in a different park every time.

All the above and almost everything I do, I do alone. I'm a hermit, which is not a joke or an exaggeration — people get on my nerves at the speed of conversation, So being alone is usually my preferred state. It never stops me from doing what I want to do.

CRANKY
OLD FART
#440  [archive]
JULY 24, 2024

Yet even I, the great loner, know that some things are better shared. My few friends are not adventurous, though, and my family is anti-adventurous.

Other than a meal in a restaurant, there is no-one who'd come with me for an 'intellectshul' lecture, a night in a bar, a drag show, or even a movie if it's not about superheroes or Jesus (greatest superhero of them all!).

So it's always, "Ticket for one, please. Senior discount." Which is a little sad, but only when I think about it, and I'm not much for thinking about stuff.

Joining Folio a few days ago might help me find a compadre or two. I've also eaten the discount lunch at my local senior center, where everyone sits at the same tables, but all the oldsters I chatted with wanted to chat about church.

And so it goes. Are personal ads still a thing?

A pig of a man, Donald Trump, is running for President, and the polls suggest it's a close race. He's a fascist, but half of America loves that, so whatareyagonna do? Trump is so obviously the dumbest, meanest, worst statesman to ever be President, but if Americans are stupid enough to hire him for that job again, well, it's been a wild experiment for 248 years but all good things must come to an end.

With a monster roaring at us, it's hilarious to think that America's 'defense' is up to the Democrats. I've been watching the Dem Party for many years, and I seriously doubt they even want to win elections. They're the Washington Generals — their job is to show up and look credible, while the Globetrotters romp. There's more money in being "the loyal opposition."

Now that Biden's been bumped and Harris is the candidate, things seem slightly more optimistic. She's worse than Biden politically, but she's a better public speaker, more capable of rousing crowds and igniting a sliver of voter enthusiasm.

It's also nice that she'd be 'only' 60 if she's sworn in, a spring chicken among the dusty diaper-clad geriatrics of Washington DC.

OK, enough of me rambling. Here's the newscast: 

Tragically famous wingnut tees up Supreme Court to reverse marriage equality ruling 

School district settles lawsuit, will charge school Satan clubs the same rent as Jesus clubs 

Federal judge tosses Republican-backed Ohio restrictions on disabled voters 

In addition to being a rotten human and general prick, Elon Musk is also a ghastly father 

Google makes abrupt U-turn by dropping plan to remove ad-tracking cookies on Chrome browser 

Remember, you're not the customer at Google, you're the product.

Israel's occupation of Palestine is illegal, says The Hague, and should be reversed… which is nice, but doesn't matter because Israel laughs at the UN and International Court of Justice, bwa ha!

Botanists vote to remove racist reference from plants' scientific names 

Excerpt: The effect of the vote will be that all plants, fungi and algae names that contain the word caffra, which originates in insults made against Black people, will be replaced by the word affra to denote their African origins. More than 200 species will be affected, including the coast coral tree, which, from 2026, will be known as Erythrina affra instead of Erythrina caffra.

Climate emergency: 

• Extreme heat may be crucial factor in human spread of bird flu, and we've got extreme heat in extremes, so chirp chirp croak.

• Heatwave dries up lake in Serbia, triggers fires in Balkan 'extreme weather event' 

• It's going to hit 90 degrees in Alaska this week 

• World registers hottest day ever as heatwaves scorch planet 

... but there's nothing to worry about, la di da, la di da.

Republican roundup: 

• Trump supporters say ear bandages are 'sign of love' 

• Trump offers supporters $299 assassination attempt-themed sneakers 

• Former TrumpOrg CFO is released from jail after serving 100 days for lying during investigation (but I'm sure it was a youthful indiscretion and he's actually a great guy)

• Texas Governor says he'll continue human trafficking to librul places 

• Trump said he had no idea who suggested Jamie Dimon as Treasury Secretary (it was him) 

• Republican sure is sorry for threatening civil war if Trump loses 2024 election 

• Conservatives use shooting at Trump rally to attack DEI efforts at Secret Service, because if every agent was white and male, why, Saint Donald wouldn't have to wear a tampon on his ear.

All cops are bastards: 

• Illinois deputy is charged with 1st-degree murder for shooting woman in the face after she'd called 9-1-1 

• Washington county will close jail and pay $2.5M to family after man's suicide in solitary dungeon 

• Los Angeles Sheriff's Department investigated reporter, and falsely implicated the department's own "constitutional policing advisor"

• Michigan's top court says it's OK to run from the cops if they have no legitimate reason to stop you, so run and die for your rights! 

⚡ LINKS FOR THINKS ⚡

• A guide to the coming attacks on Kamala Harris 

• Kevin Drum takes the trouble to debunk the latest Trump speech full of lies and nonsense 

• The secret to living longer: join a club 

• We need to be willing to use terms like "Fascism" when they apply, even if it makes us uncomfortable. 

• How to cope with your local police department being defunded after it was never defunded 

• Here's what happens when you give people free money 

• This principal would've been fired so quick at the high school I usually skipped. [VIDEO]

⚰️  DEAD PEOPLE  ⚰️

Robert Allen
exonerated Port Chicago victims 

Lou Dobbs
bullshitter 

Claes H. Dohlman
artificial cornea 

Abdul 'Duke' Fakir
rock'n'roller, the Four Tops 

Jerry Fuller
songwriter, "Young Girl"

Ron Gee
activist 

Aanvi Kamdar
'influencer' 

John Mayall
rock'n'roller, the Bluesbreakers 

Thomas Neff
diplomat outta nowhere 

Bob Newhart
actor/comedian, The Bob Newhart Show 

Cheng Pei Pei
actress, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon 

Ray Reardon
6-time snooker champion

Grace Rohloff
hiker 

Kenzie Smith
activist

  7/24/2024   

Cranky Old Fart is annoyed and complains and very occasionally offers a kindness, along with anything off the internet that's made me smile or snarl. All opinions fresh from my ass. Top illustration by Jeff Meyer. Click any image to enlarge. Comments & conversations invited. 

Tip 'o the hat to Atomic Raunch, the AVA, Bleepity-Bleep, Breakfast at Ralf's, Chuff, Dirty Blonde Mind, It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time, Jesus Is My Hostage, Lemmy.world, Looking for My Perfect Sandwich, A Sudden Violent Jerk, Mr Souza's Happy Place, Voenix Rising, and anywhere else I've stolen links, illustrations, or inspiration.

Special thanks to Linden Arden, Becky Jo, Wynn Bruce, Joey Jo Jo emeritus, Jeff Meyer, John the Basket, Dave S, Name Withheld, and always extra special thanks to my lovely late Stephanie, who gave me 21 years and proved that the world isn't always shitty.

Cranky Old Fart
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