every movie ever made, in alphabetical order
(we’re in the I’s, with some anti-alphabetical cheats)

Innerspace (1987)

This is a comedic riff on Fantastic Voyage and The Incredible Shrinking Man. Dennis Quaid gets shrunk in a science experiment, and pilots a submarine that’s poking around inside Martin Short’s bloodstream.

It’s all very 1980s ridonkulous, and doesn’t merit a long and thoughtful review, but it’s calculated to charm but they must’ve had a good slide ruler, because the calculations are correct and you’ll be charmed.

With Meg Ryan, Kevin McCarthy, Fiona Lewis, Henry Gibson, Robert Picardo, and William Schallert, who plays basically the same doctor he played in The Incredible Shrinking Man.

Verdict: YES.

♦ ♦ ♦

Innertube Antics (1944)

Animated oddness about a walking donkey struggling with living rubber that’s inexplicably oozing out of his front lawn.

The animation is swell and colorful, but nothing here is funny or particularly interesting. It’s like an exec at MGM said “We need a seven minute cartoon,” and got exactly what he asked for.

Verdict: NO.

♦ ♦ ♦

The Innkeepers (2011)

In an unnamed small town, the Yankee Pedlar Inn has been open since 1891, but there are fewer and fewer guests, and after this weekend it’ll be closed. Claire and Luke are the only employees, and they goof around and tell jokes and wonder whether the hotel is haunted. It’s a horror movie, so you can probably guess the answer to that question.

The Innkeepers is an interesting movie about smart people in a weird situation, noticeably better than the genre average, until its very average last 15 minutes or so. That’s when all the interesting characters and situations become moot, because the horror movie part of the horror movie comes due.

One of the movie’s likable elements is the lack of romance between Claire and Luke — they work together, like each other, but aren’t destined to fall in love. Kelly McGillis plays a mysterious guest, and Lena Dunham is hilarious in a cameo as the girl at the coffee counter.

Verdict: MAYBE, on the cusp of YES.

♦ ♦ ♦

The Innocents (1961)

Deborah Kerr plays Miss Giddens, who lacks a first name. She looks about 35, a tad old to be applying for her first job, as governess for two orphaned children. “More than anything,” she says, “I love children.”

Anyone who seriously says that in real life would be scary, but Miss Giddens isn’t the horror here, it’s the kiddies. Without giving away too much about this gorgeous black-and-white CinemaScope epic of discomfort, her first assignment doesn’t go as well as she’d hoped. All in all, it makes me glad all over again that the Mrs & I never wanted children.

The movie is atmospheric, spooky, British, and dated, based on the gothic horror The Turn of the Screw, by Henry James. Screenplay co-written by Truman Capote. Cinematography by Freddie Francis.

Verdict: YES.

♦ ♦ ♦

Queen and Slim (2019)

Slim is on his first date with Queen, burgers and fries at a diner. She’s an attorney, level-headed, smart, assertive. What he does for a living the movie never says, but he’s not a criminal.

They’re black, though, so as he’s driving her home, blue lights come on behind his car, and they’re pulled over by a cop who claims Slim didn’t signal a turn. The cop is white, aggressive, demanding, and shouts orders that would be scary to anyone, especially someone black.

And then in a moment, everything goes wrong, and after everything goes wrong, everything goes wronger. There’s no hope for them through the American justice system [sic], so the whole movie is basically black Kafka.

“The black Bonnie & Clyde” try to put miles between them and the scene of their accidental crime, and along the way they become folk heroes to black folks watching the newscasts, and even to a few white folks.

Queen and Slim starts great, stays great for a long time, drops back to good, flirts with OK, and then comes roaring back to great. Daniel Kaluuya (Get Out) and Jodie Turner-Smith (unknown to me) star, and Melina Matsoukas, who’d apparently done nothing but music videos before this, directs rather well.

There isn’t much I’d do different from what Queen and Slim do, except I wouldn’t be black. That’s the only difference, and what makes the movie so effective. The only similar movie I can think of is Thelma & Louise.

Verdict: YES.

9/18/2025

Logo illustration by Jeff Meyer. No talking once the lights dim, and only real butter on the popcorn, not that fake yellow stuff.

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