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  • Anything goes: 8/1/2026

    our 91st weekly open mike

    Let’s see what happens when your host (me) has nothing to say. Step right up, speak your mind, tell a story, sing a song, whatever.

    8/1/2026

    Anything goes

    itsdougholland.com 
    ← PREVIOUS          NEXT →

  • And now the news: 7/31/2026

    ‘The boss wants this money’: inside Trump’s unprecedented fundraising of hundreds of millions from companies for his projects

    Always media uses the word “unprecedented,” when “illegal” would be much more accurate.

    Elon Musk is firing up the vote-buying machine again

    $100-million is a paltry pledge — 1/10,000th of Musk’s net worth, like me spending a dime, but elections are cheap and Musk is buying.

    Secret talks with Kushner led to FIFA’s controversial sale plans

    Excerpt: The uproar roiling international football in the wake of FIFA’s plans to sell a stake in its new media division got its start in secret talks last year, when the chief of the sport’s international body met with Joshua Kushner, the venture capitalist with family ties to President Donald Trump.

    Trump’s fixation on arctic ships led to $7-billion in no-bid contracts

    Me, looking grumpy, reading the news

    AND NOW THE NEWS #616
    Friday,
    July 31, 2026

    Trump threatens to withdraw Blanche as Attorney General, dealing blow to nomination

    “Threatens”? In what sense, dear New York Times, is this a “threat?

    Blanche is all about the slush fund.

    Call him Carte Blanche.

    With Blanche nomination at stake, payouts to Trump allies continue

    Excerpt: The settlement given to Paul Vaughn, who was convicted by a Tennessee jury in 2024 of conspiring to prevent access to an abortion clinic, shows how the goal of a $1.8 billion fund announced in May can continue, despite a public retreat by Mr. Blanche. An already existing avenue for disbursing taxpayer money could allow him to assuage skeptical Republicans while fulfilling President Trump’s desire to pay people he believes were wronged by the Justice Department.

    Minority Report: FBI seeks AI for political watchlist

    Excerpt: The FBI office in charge of maintaining the terrorist watch list is seeking an artificial intelligence system for pre-crime policing, according to procurement documents obtained by Reason. The request for information for vendors, posted by the FBI’s procurement division in March, solicits potential bidders for a project that would supercharge the Threat Screening Center (TSC) with new predictive AI capabilities—just as its focus moves from Islamist terrorism to domestic dissent.

    The worst person you know just filed a good First Amendment lawsuit against a very badly drafted nudify app ban

    Former FCC officials line up to blast Brendan Carr’s lawless censorship of ABC

    US to make $20,000 visa bond program permanent for people from dozens of countries

    DHS general counsel names four federal judges ‘worst of the worst’ as threats against judiciary rise

    Excerpt: It’s one thing to criticize federal judges. We do it here all the time, and it can be a healthy to hold unelected, life-tenured officials to scrutiny. But none of us at Above the Law is presently a federal government official and none of us are comparing federal judges to murderers and kidnappers for an audience of thugs who already stormed the Capitol and tried to hang the vice president.

    Charges dropped against ex-Olympian accused of damaging reflecting pool

    Like so many Trump regime prosecutions, this was plainly bogus from the git-go. Everyone involved in his arrest and prosecution, absolutely including the President, should be sued, impeached, disbarred, algae bloomed, etc.

    Government-controlled Reddit community for US Secret Service applicants bans discussion of polygraphs

    It’s not one of my passionate concerns so I don’t often say it, but I’ll say it today: Polygraphs are bullshit.

    The flight network behind Jeffrey Epstein’s trafficking operation

    Excerpt: Epstein also sat at the center of a web of fixers and scouts that approached young women and lured them into his orbit with promises of work. A Bloomberg News analysis of Skype messages, flight records and other documents released by the US Department of Justice show that from the time of his release from jail in 2009, through to his arrest in July 2019, this shadow network spanned Europe, recruiting dozens, potentially more than a hundred women, who were transported to his properties in France, the UK, the US and the US Virgin Islands. Some involved now say they didn’t know the true nature of Epstein’s activities, and would not have assisted him had they known the truth.

    Investigation of school Epstein helped finds abuses went beyond him

    What Is the Board of Peace?

    I have a better question: Why is the New York Times treating Trump’s “Bored of Peace” as if it’s something serious, not just another scam?

    Trump orders warnings placed at ‘inaccurate’ Smithsonian’s history museum

    Bullying the facts into submission.

    Washington Post journalism

    How fossil fuel companies made us believe gas was clean

    Fark’s Drew Curtis, on Google’s murder of the open web

    Excerpt: Initially I couldn’t believe Google could be so dumb to kill the thing it makes literally all its money from, but lately I’ve arrived at another conclusion: Google knows it’s killing the open web and is doing it on purpose. There’s no way no one at Google realizes what’s happening. There’s no way this hasn’t been brought up internally in meetings. Anyone can see what the impact will be long term. What Google thinks they’ll have for a core business if they succeed in capturing all outbound traffic for themselves, I have no idea. They probably think they’ll be an AI company doing AI stuff making AI revenue, but in my opinion that’s a goal with no clear path, not a plan.

    Kennedy Center halts free public tours after volunteer tour guide was featured in a New York Times article

    In the middle of a war, the Trump administration has cut national security staffing in half

    Minnesota water systems are hacked, and Trump says the state did it to themselves

    Much more likely it was Iran. As the US daily bombs that country’s civilian infrastructure and Trump reduces American cyberdefense, attacks like this are increasingly likely.

    US government map of Africa mislabels every country at global conference

    Everyone at the State Department who knew geography got DOGE’d, apparently.

    The real reason Elon Musk keeps insisting DOGE cuts killed “zero” kids

    Excerpt: But on some level, these fact-checks miss the point. We don’t think Musk intends claims like these to be debated on an empirical level. Rather, Musk is communicating in subterranean tropes that his far-right global audience will instantly find intelligible: He’s advancing the generalized sentiment that due to DOGE cuts, nobody died for whom we need to feel any passing responsibility. Nobody died who’s worthy of our concern.

    Why do we tolerate Elon Musk’s racist commentary?

    Excerpt: In a recent interview with The Economist, Musk denied that he was a racist, even as he defended his far-right views of immigration. “If you have a large and growing, rapidly growing group of people whose beliefs are antithetical to Western beliefs, at some point, there will be a reckoning,” he said.

    But those views, as we see, are indistinguishable from what you would find in The Turner Diaries. With hundreds of millions of followers on a platform he personally controls, Musk stands as the most prominent purveyor of far-right and ultranationalistic rhetoric in the world. This is the same Musk who is also busy leveraging his vast wealth to shape that same world in his own image.

    Ohio Republican Congresscritter runs for re-election amid allegations of domestic abuse

    Excerpt: Ms. Moreno, the daughter of Senator Bernie Moreno, also an Ohio Republican, has said that Mr. Miller scalded her chest and stomach by throwing hot water from a skillet at her body; held a gun to her head; pushed her against a wall and hit her head; and fractured their daughter’s collarbone and bruised her shoulder.

    According to court documents, their daughter at one point told Ms. Moreno, “Daddy kill you.”

    Mr. Miller has not only denied it all, he has gone on offense against Ms. Moreno, making damaging accusations of his own in a series of media interviews, court filings and countersuits that have kept the family’s personal trauma in the headlines. He has called his ex-wife mentally ill, a liar, a stalker and a dangerous individual who has made him and their daughter unsafe.

    Trump’s spy chief spends final hours in job boasting of mass firings, but seems to be lying

    Congressional questioning of Anthony Fauci isn’t a good-faith effort. It is political persecution.

    Well, duh, but thanks for saying it out loud.

    Show trials are bad for democracy

    ‘American Conservative’ columnist: This story reminds me of a third-grader whose dick i thought was weird

    Here’s the sincerity of trans-haters who talk about protecting women’s sports

    Democrat running for Governor of Wisconsin seems decent

    Dem Governor of California, Gavin Newsom, sides with billionaires. Again.

    Schumer says he’ll block effort to rename Penn Station after Trump

    In other words, it’s a done deal.

    Troy Jackson, Dems’ new candidate for Senate in Maine, used to troll Republicans in Bangor Daily News comment section

    To be clear, this is a plus for Jackson — it suggests he has some fire and honest anger in him.

    Mamdani’s pick as New York Sheriff honors his mentor, Frank Serpico

    Holy shit, Serpico is still alive!

    Excerpt: Mr. Raymond’s predecessor, Anthony Miranda, an appointee of Mayor Eric Adams, was fired in May. He is now under criminal investigation related to possible corruption.

    Mr. Mamdani immediately appointed Mr. Raymond, a former New York City police lieutenant, to replace Mr. Miranda. Mr. Raymond was picked largely for his anti-corruption stance, having played his own role as a whistle-blower in the Police Department before retiring as a lieutenant in 2023.

    A decade ago, Mr. Raymond, who grew up in Brooklyn the child of Haitian immigrants, sued the Police Department along with a group of fellow officers, claiming that officials pushed unofficial arrest quotas that Mr. Raymond said were targeting Black and Latino men.

    Around this time, Mr. Raymond also met Mr. Serpico, another son of Brooklyn who became known for fighting corrupt police culture.

    Couple stalked by eBay settle for $56-million

    That’s cool and all, but in 2025, eBay’s revenue totaled $11.1-billion. This is a pittance as punishment, and zero executives have been prosecuted.

    Excerpt: The Steiners were bombarded with anonymous material including deliveries of live cockroaches and a bloody pig mask. They were threatened online. Much of the material they were sent, including a funeral wreath and a book on surviving the loss of a spouse, suggested imminent death. The security team was on the verge of breaking into the Steiners’ garage to put a tracker on their car when the plot was derailed.

    Zuckerberg blasts centralization of AI power

    Ha ha ha — oh, good one, Mark.

    AI companies are trying to hide a staggering amount of debt

    Excerpt: As Japanese financial newspaper Nikkei Asia found in a recent investigation, just five US tech giants — Alphabet, Microsoft, Amazon, Meta, and Oracle — are hiding an estimated $1.65 trillion in debt that doesn’t appear on balance sheets. That’s even more than the $1.35 trillion in debt the five companies officially reported in their financial data for the most recent quarter.

    Meta alone has amassed around $420 billion in off-balance-sheet debt, according to Nikkei, highlighting how precarious the AI industry’s steep investment in AI has become, and inspiring comparisons to energy company Enron, which collapsed in spectacular fashion in 2001 because of similar debts hidden behind shell companies.

    Shopify’s CEO wants rich people to get more votes than the common folk

    Shell profits double as oil prices rise due to Iran war

    ICE arrests surge at airports, opening new front in deportation drive

    Excerpt: The Trump administration has begun arresting foreign citizens with expired US visas as they travel through airports, including spouses of Americans, according to documents obtained by The New York Times and interviews with immigration lawyers — a tactic that opens up a vast new pool of people for deportation.

    Me again: This will include people whose visa expires while they’re working through the legal labyrinth of renewing it, even folks with a valid green card and/or work permit — people playing by the rules. Trump & the Republicans will have them deported to third-world countries the immigrants have never before been to.

    And if you’re thinking, tough shit, they’re not Americans, please tell yourself “Fuck you,” click away from this page and site, and never click back. Your kind ain’t welcome here.

    Missouri couple shot dead in Guatemala after local ICE stop led to deportations

    Washington ACLU sues feds after asylum-seeking family was held in windowless cell for 4 weeks

    ICE wants to deport a Philly man who has lived legally in the US for 20 years

    ICE’s new jail contracts declare state laws ‘shall not apply’

    Indiana man dies from leukemia while In ICE custody

    404 Media scores leaked document detailing the dozens of surveillance tools ICE has access to

    Don’t call them ICE detention centers. Call them camps.

    What a very strange article: The author’s head is in the right place, attached at the neck and all, but he’s hemming and hawing and doing the whole Hamlet shtick over calling ICE gulags “camps” instead of detention centers.

    Get real: ICE facilities are not detention centers, certainly, but they’re also not “camps” — there are no weenie roasts or woodsy hikes. They’re concentration camps, by every metric of the definition.

    Visuals suggest US dropped 2,000-pound bomb on home in Iran, killing at least 3

    Trump officials want to use human rights aid to advocate for white South Africans and right-wing causes in Europe

    Bloodthirsty mass murderer does not appreciate Mayor Mamdani’s speech

    US diplomats stage UN walkout after France criticizes human rights record under Trump

    Excerpt: “The US used to be a beacon of human rights. Not anymore. Today, it stands alongside North Korea, Nicaragua, Mali & Russia, isolated. And the world no longer listens to it.”

    Me again: And the US won’t listen to the world.

    Trump administration to end Medicare drug plan subsidy

    25-million seniors on fixed incomes will pay higher premiums or die.

    My dad used to say Social Security and Medicare were forever, because the American Association of Retired Persons would raise a ruckus you could hear from outer space. But from AARP today, silence and crickets.

    Former FDA official says US handling of cyclospora near ‘catastrophic level’

    California lettuce growers skip harvest, plow their crops back into the ground

    EPA halted a study on gas stoves and asthma, But even partial results were striking

    The coming peptide free-for-all

    Uninsured patients rise sharply, hospitals report, citing Obamacare cuts

    Hiker trekked 10 miles to safety after impaling himself on pole

    Excerpt: Hoping to avoid an expensive lift off the mountain via helicopter, he walked around and found he wasn’t lightheaded and told his friends, “I think we can get out of here.”

    Me again: I don’t want to read too much into a happy, heroic story like this, and maybe David Cifaldi is rich and he’s just joking here, but … It sure sounds like he calculated the numbers, and decided that hiking ten miles with a stick stuck through him wasn’t as terrifying as the bill for an air ambulance.

    The assault on science funding continues

    Excerpt: The Trump administration hates academic science funding, full stop. They hate where that money goes, and they hate who it goes to. They want to keep all that money for themselves, to hand out to favored cronies who can help them get elected and to steer yet more money and more power back into their hands.

    That’s it. That’s the story. They are naturally not putting it in those words, but instead talking about “gold standard science” and the “reproducibility crisis” and funding “bold inquiry” for “transformational breakthroughs”. This is all bullshit, and it’s important to realize that. Shameless hand-waving bullshit, delivered in a how-dare-you-think-otherwise manner is the defining style of the entire Trump administration. You can see it in every appointee, in every part of the executive branch, and in the pronouncements of all of Trump’s supporters. I realize that this is a simple heuristic to apply, and a very unambiguous and unflattering one, but I find it to be all too useful and all too accurate. Give it a try.

    Trump Administration plans to upend Head Start by deregulating it

    EPA Administrator Lee Zeldin vows to fulfill coal industry’s ‘wish list’

    In Ohio, toxic wastewater is bubbling up out of the ground

    Excerpt: For years, [hundreds of millions of gallons of radioactive fracking wastewater] has arrived in a caravan of tanker trucks that come night and day to deposit the toxic brine in injection wells that pump it thousands of feet underground, where it is supposed to stay forever.

    But the brine is spurting to the surface, and locals fear it could soon contaminate the drinking water source for 32,000 people. “It would destroy the city,” said Susan Vessels, president of the Marietta City Council. “Once the damage is done, it cannot be undone.”

    EPA is ordered—again—to release $2.8 billion in climate justice funds

    Trump administration is repurposing federal land for AI data centers

    Ohio EPA drafts permit allowing data centers to dump wastewater & biocides into state waters

    High-speed rail is coming to Poland

    Public transit is a lifeline for countless Americans. Trump is derailing our protections.

    The $20 fix that solved traffic deaths

    Giving a damn about good movies, I must mention that this video’s relentless and unnecessary bubble-music is Auschwitz for the ear.

    Other than that, though, it’s a hella good video, jammed with information I hadn’t known, about preventable traffic deaths and one American city that’s prevented them.

    Starbucks now has drive-thru only locations, where customers can’t walk in, can’t buy a cup of the chain’s burnt, shitty coffee unless they’re in a car and remain in the car

    Never have I ever heard of a retail store so flagrantly flipping off its neighbors and neighborhood.

    This caller on Rand Paul’s virtual town hall is all of us

    Chicago homeowner sues after watching ICE raid his home on Ring

    Man charged in Flock attack speaks out

    Protesting Flock, Arizona man presents plan to surveil government officials

    ICE gets welcomed to New York City

    I’ve been playing this on a loop (sound only) for an hour…

    Suburban cemetery workers arrested by ICE join nationwide effort to hold federal agents accountable

    Excerpt: Darren Eichler and Daniel Greer were working on the cemetery grounds when they noticed immigration agents trying to arrest a man standing in the Des Plaines River, which runs alongside the cemetery. From behind the cemetery’s fence, Eichler, Greer and two other co-workers told the agents to leave the area and stop harassing people, according to their complaints.

    Instead, agents approached them and demanded to be let into the cemetery. When they refused, agents took out bolt cutters and cut the gate’s lock, according to the complaints. The agent sprayed them with mace and arrested them. Eichler started experiencing intense chest pains and struggled to breathe. He repeatedly asked to go to the hospital, but it took agents over an hour to take him to Rush Oak Park Hospital, where he was kept handcuffed. He was eventually released from the hospital without charges, according to his complaint.

    Meanwhile, Greer was sprayed, shoved to the ground and his hands were zip-tied behind his back, according to his complaint. He was taken to a Department of Homeland Security facility but was never told why he was detained or offered medical help for the chemical burns on his face. He was also released without charges, but he was handed paperwork claiming he was arrested for “assaulting or resisting an officer,” according to the complaint.

    AI supersucks.

    FTC would like to decide which AI answers are too woke, and is calling that consumer protection

    A whole bunch of people’s Claude chats are publicly accessible online, and there’s some wildly private stuff in there, but Anthropic says the system is working as intended

    Excerpt: Many of the materials appear to have been made public when Claude users opted to distribute a given chat or project to colleagues or associates using the chatbot’s “share” feature. After hitting the “share” button in the top right corner, Claude notes that sharing will create a “public” link, which “anyone with the link can view.” The warning, though, doesn’t alert users that shared content could wind up being indexed by a search engine — meaning that a user could effectively be sharing their Claude-generated document with the entire internet.

    Google Earth, a tool often used as a source of satellite imagery to verify photos and videos, has added a feature that allows you to alter satellite imagery with AI, for reasons

    This is going to lead to so much fake imagery of fake attacks, fake tornadoes, fake earthquakes…

    Newsmax and Meta enter AI content partnership

    Excerpt: Meta will be able to draw upon Newsmax‘s significant current reporting as well as archived content to support AI queries across Meta’s apps and devices.

    Does Palantir’s Optica boost hospital success? NHS is no longer sure.

    Anthropic AI models hacked three companies during tests

    This isn’t AI news, it’s just more corporate corruption, but they’re hoping that branding it “AI” makes it look accidental or some shit.

    AI is so much better than asking your kid some super-intrusive question like “How are things?” or “What’s going on today?”

    When physicians and AI work together, who is accountable?

    Excerpt: Current AI tools are being used mainly as assistants, backed up by human checks, much as with other medical devices. For instance, when AI models trigger an alert that a patient is at risk of sepsis, a clinician must review and confirm the physiological rationale before any treatment.

    But in the next few years, AI-driven clinical tools are expected to advance from synthesizing data to acting on it, with less and less human input. They will make diagnoses, devise treatment plans and make patient-management decisions that clinicians play little or no part in. Whereas the outputs of many existing tools are understandable — sepsis models, for instance, work by combining defined physiological variables according to a transparent formula1 — more-advanced tools can involve black-box deep-learning processes. Clinicians will no longer be able to fully follow the tools’ reasoning, even for algorithms that provide some explanations for their judgements2.

    Me again: Everything about this is so fucked up.

    Professor hides white font in midterm, catches 32 of 35 students cheating with AI

    School pauses robot teacher plans after parents discover the company also makes sex robots

    American cops are armed and dangerous, barely trained, barely supervised. They can get away with anything, and do.

    Arizona man files claim alleging deputies ignored swatting warnings before shooting left him paralyzed

    California officer charged for alleged sexual relationship with 16-year-old police explorer

    In hot pursuit over “vehicle code violations,” California police chase perp into wreck, killing bystander

    Colorado teen sues police after officers ‘mistake’ him for robbery suspect and handcuff him on the ground

    Family sues after Connecticut cops observe arrested woman stashing illegal drugs on her person in squad car, but conduct no search, confiscate her naloxone, skip required welfare checks in jail, and she ODs and dies in custody

    Over speeding, Florida cops use PIT maneuver to cause wreck, killing teen

    Illinois cops are lying about chase that led to four teens’ deaths

    Excerpt: Morales’ father said he believes law enforcement bears responsibility for the events leading up to the crash.

    “They told me they stopped chasing, but the videos online show something else. They show lots of police cars behind them. I think there are other ways they could have stopped the car,” he said in Spanish.

    Man sues Indianapolis police after body camera proves cop was lying

    Cause of New Orleans jail inmate’s death is under investigation by at least three agencies, and we’ll never hear another word about it

    Former Missouri deputy sentenced to 20 years in prison for child sex crimes

    Police in Pennsylvania’s tiny Mount Holly Springs have turned over 32 immigrants to ICE since March

    Tennessee grandmother files lawsuit, saying her arrest was staged for reality TV show

    Texas police release more video of fatal shooting of 17-year-old holding water bottle

    Excerpt: The three officers involved remain on paid administrative leave, per department protocol.

    Texas: After 92 deaths in custody, groups Bexar County to declare jail deaths a public health emergency

    Climate change is real, and it's happening now. It's going to get worse, and then it's going to get worse than that. It's never going to stop getting worse, so long as capitalism and the quest for money decides everything.

    Oxygen is disappearing from oceans, lakes, rivers, and coastal waters at an alarming rate, threatening aquatic life and weakening the natural processes that help regulate Earth’s climate

    112 degrees in Paris, flames near Bordeaux. France can’t go on like this.

    Excerpt: The extreme weather has forced the country in and out of a state of paralysis. Near Bordeaux, a wildfire has burned some 160 square miles; more than 220,000 people have been evacuated. Several nuclear power plants were temporarily shut down; trains were canceled because their route brought them too close to a fire. Paris landmarks like the Louvre and the Eiffel Tower have had to close early because of the heat, leaving tourists and the businesses that cater to them grumbling. As one crisis follows the next, the government has offered only an incoherent response.

    Some commenters have suggested that the problem, at least when it comes to heat, lies in France’s supposed aversion to air-conditioning and that the fix must be a cultural one. The far-right leader Marine Le Pen, whose party has a long history of opposing climate-friendly policies, announced a plan to roll out air-conditioning nationwide. On X, right-wing foreigners like Elon Musk mocked Europeans for their lack of air-conditioning and implied that if residents simply learned to love it then all would be well. But it will not be easy to bring cooling to the masses, and it won’t be enough to solve the country’s problems. France needs to take climate adaptation far more seriously as this summer’s blazing heat and wildfires become a deadly, recurring reality.

    Until recently, France had rather clement weather. But climate change has hit France and the rest of Europe very quickly. The continent is warming more than twice as fast as the global average, and scientists believe that there will be 10 times as many extremely hot days by the end of the century as there are now. Drought, too, has become a continual problem, leading to failed harvests and water restrictions.

    UK wildfire: nuclear power station on ‘high alert’

    Religious followers believe their god protects and guides them. But god never shows up. Every religion is led only by humans, who often turn out to be charlatans, swindlers, or perverts.

    ‘Predator’ ex-pastor gets 40 years after Florida arrest reveals child exploitation online and at church

    South Side Chicago pastor on electronic monitoring after being charged with molesting relatives

    Oklahoma pastor arrested on sexual battery complaint

    Texas pastor charged with indecency with a child

    Virginia youth pastor gets 20 years in child sex crimes case

    Chicagoans rally to help dislodge boat washed up on North Avenue Beach, but it remains stuck

    This is a charming human interest story, I guess? This human (me) doesn’t have much interest, but to recap:

    Rich idiot takes friends boating in dangerous conditions, gets rescued by the Coast Guard, but his boat blows away and gets stuck. It’s this rich idiot’s fifth boat, but it’s not insured, so he turns to eager volunteers to help get the boat out of the mud, so far to no avail. And the rich idiot says in hindsight, “The stupid Coast Guard made me cut my anchor and leave the boat behind. …”

    Just for giggles:
    Tesla sues Cybertruck supplier over plant closure, alleged automaker lockout

    Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him...

    Tom Chadbon
    actor, Doctor Who

    Ronald G. Davis
    San Francisco Mime Troupe

    Jeannette Etheredge
    San Francisco’s Tosca Cafe

    Glen Hansard
    actor, Once

    Mildred Pitts Walker
    books for and about black kids

    Excerpt: Knowing that the federal government under President Lyndon B. Johnson had in 1968 allocated funds to encourage publishers to create more books for students like hers, Ms. Walter eventually challenged an executive at a local publishing company, Ward Ritchie Press, to fill that need.

    “‘Well, write them,’ he responded,” she wrote in her autobiography, Something Inside So Strong: Life in Pursuit of Choice, Courage and Change (2019). “I felt he was passing the buck and told him so. But he insisted. I reluctantly agreed.”

    Arlene Smith
    rock’n’roller, The Chantels

    Eric Washington
    opposed gun violence,
    but gun violence won

    Nothing will meaningfully improve
    until billionaires fear for their lives.

    7/31/2026

    News always and only from reliable sources, and I decide what’s reliable — no right-wing bullshit, no Substack because fuck Nazis, no RawStory, Newsweek, or other clickbait sites, and no Glenn Greenwald, Ezra Klein, Matt Taibbi, Matthew Yglesias, or other famous writers with nothing left to say. Written news is preferred; video links will be rare, and damned near never to videos where the reporter sits, stands, or strolls in front of a camera — that’s show biz, not news.

    If you’re blocked from reading anything linked above, please send an email, and I’ll reply with the article’s complete text, via my vast array of fine ad-blockers and paywall-vaulters.

    Logo illustration by Jeff Meyer. Tip ‘o the hat to the Anderson Valley Advertiser, Daily Grail, Voenix Rising, What Not’s, Jamie Zawinski, and anywhere else I’ve stolen links, illustrations, or inspiration.

    Special thanks to Linden Arden, Becky Jo, Joey Jo Jo & John the Basket emeritus, the aforementioned Mr Meyer, Dave S, Name Withheld, and always extra special thanks to my lovely late Stephanie, who gave me 21 years and proved that the world isn’t always shitty.

    And Now the News

    itsdougholland.com
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  • A morning with Dean

    On the prowl for breakfast, I’d hoped to open the fridge, see what’s there, and choose what I want. My flatmate Dean was in the kitchen, though, wearing his ridiculous white puffy chef hat and chopping meat on the bare counter. Immediately he told me what he was cooking, and recapped the day’s weather forecast, and started a play-by-play of the night before’s baseball game.

    I ignored him to the max of my abilities, yet tragically Dean continued existing and talking. Hence, my revised plan for breakfast was: whatever would get me out of the kitchen quickest. I went with a plate of spicy fries and vegan corn dogs, because while they microwaved, I could retreat to my room.

    After starting the microwave, I pulled out a bottle of fake Big Mac Sauce to squirt over the fries, and generic French’s to slather onto the corn dogs. Left them on the table while the microwave hummed, and Dean, of course, had a comment, because Dean always has a comment:

    “Ooooh, two kinds of mustard, the plain and the Dijon.” I didn’t correct him, but he picked up the Big Mac Sauce to examine it, and cleverly announced, “Wait, this isn’t Dijon.” Then he read its ingredients off the label, out loud of course, because silently reading the ingredients off someone else’s condiments would be slightly less annoying, and Dean’s always more annoying, never less, not even slightly less.

    I said nothing, because I wasn’t in the kitchen to talk. I’m an introvert. I don’t want to talk about everything, or anything, and certainly don’t want to talk about my shitty microwave breakfast.

    When he’d finished reading the Big Mac Sauce ingredients, Dean brought the bottle even nearer to his face. I’d punch him in the jaw if he sniffed the sauce, I decided, and beat him to death with a frying pan if he tasted it. He did neither, and instead asked, “So is this stuff any good?”

    “It’s awful,” I explained. “That’s why I buy it.”

    Dean chuckled like my line was a witty retort on The Dick Cavett Show, and I went back into my room, closing the door enthusiastically while Dean was still talking.

    “Ding,” said the microwave five minutes later. I re-emerged, and Dean began re-talking, saying again how marvelous whatever meal he was making was going to be.

    I squirted sauce and mustard all over my food, and beelined back into my room, muttering under my breath how immeasurably I abhor Dean and how happy I’d be if he died.

    Four years I’ve lived with this guy. Four damned years. He’s not mean, and by ordinary standards he’s polite, and someone normal could probably tolerate him, but I ain’t normal.

    Dean always wants to talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. He loves yakking about himself and his cooking, which I can tune out if I try. I prefer the sound of nobody talking, but Dean also has oodles of questions and observations about whatever I’m cooking, or carrying, or why I’m limping on any given day, or about anything that comes in the mail addressed to me.

    Yes, I do daydream about killing Dean. You did ask, didn’t you?

    For a while I fought against fantasies of slitting his throat, but the more times he says the same things, the more he never shuts up, the more murder seems a logical response. Wouldn’t it be nice, watching a fountain of blood spurt from his neck?

    Relax, I’d never do it… unless I was certain I could get away with it. Usually, though, it seems smarter to ignore Dean than impale him, so I hate him in silence.

    And in silence I walked into my room, plopped onto my recliner, and began eating potatoes and corn dogs while surfing the internet. My meal was about half-finished when I read at The Guardian about Donald Trump doing something stupid and cruel, and said, “Ah, Jesus,” and laughed awkwardly and inhaled exactly wrong, and a chunk of spicy fry became lodged in my throat.

    I coughed, coughed some more, then continued coughing, and after many coughs, the potato was inhaled further down my throat. I coughed more and more, and came close to vomiting. Would puking help, or make things worse? One cough could barely finish before the next cough was begun, and soon I was light-headed, short on oxygen, feeling faint but still coughing.

    Uh, this is actually dangerous, I realized while still coughing, and sat up to straighten my windpipe for a better coughing angle. I am about two minutes from being dead. The coughs continued, more and again and the headspin felt woozier, and then came Dean’s voice through my bedroom door: “Are you OK in there?”

    Like I said a few inches up, Dean’s generally polite, and here he was trying to be neighborly and helpful. But also, Jezus Fuck, could I please have the privacy to die in a coughing jag alone, without having to talk to you about it, Dean?

    I didn’t say that, because I couldn’t say anything — I was too busy coughing. I struggled to moan with anger, hoping to transmit, “Get the fuck away!” But the moan probably sounded like a further call for help, and Dean asked again through the door, “You OK, Doug?”

    Barely breathing, more coughs hawked out half the potato from my throat, and it no longer felt like I was in immediate danger of dying. Coughed a 99th and 100th time, and my doorknob began turning. Dean was coming into my room, but hell no, hell no, so somehow I shouted, “Get the fuck away!” and then coughed eleven times more.

    The door had opened half an inch, but was quickly slammed shut again. “Sorry, man,” Dean said from the kitchen.

    I had nothing more to say, and continued gasping and hacking, albeit less frequently and less panicked. Finally ended the coughs by taking a huge swig of generic Tang and gargling it, and then resumed my lukewarm vegetarian meat and potatoes breakfast.

    And that was my Wednesday near-death experience, and I survived, which is nice. And possibly, technically, I suppose nitpickers might suggest that maybe I owe Dean an apology — he was only trying to help, right?

    An apology ain’t happening, though, not in this lifetime, or the next, or any future incarnations. If I even hinted at “Sorry about Wednesday,” Dean would launch a twenty-minute conversation about my three-minute coughing fit, so my final word on the subject will remain, “Get the fuck away,” which Dean should consider my motto, my mantra.

    Anyway, shouting at him usually earns a few days of fewer Dean conversations, and that’s all I want. Well, that and I want to kill him, of course.

    A lawyer, if I could afford one, would recommend removing all mentions of murdering Dean, since obviously, very, very tremendously and inarguably, undoubtedly, I would never do such a thing. To quote Shakespeare, “Let’s kill all the lawyers,” but please note, srsly, that all musings about murder are mere jokes. Ha ha!

    Ha ha ha! Jokes, I tell you!

    7/30/2026

    itsdougholland.com
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