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Monday, December 4, 2023

CRANKY
OLD FART'S

BROWSER
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#390  [archive]
DEC. 4, 2023

Russian Supreme Court bans "LGBTQ+ movement"; cops begin raids on gay bars
    Jeez, this makes my gut ache.
    Is civilization only a temporary thing, unraveling everywhere all at once? 

22 countries pledge to triple nuclear capacity in push to cut fossil fuels
    Let's hope this is yet another climate change agreement that'll be ignored.
    Sure, Chernobyl and Fukushima were uncommon events, and with all the right regulations and security protocols and a well-trained staff, nuclear power has been safe, overall. In a stable situation, I wouldn't have many worries about it.
    Climate change, though, is the wild card. Hurricanes, floods, and assorted natural disasters will be happening in more and more places more and more frequently, so — what happens when a cyclone hits a nuclear power plant? When floodwaters swamp a facility? When a wildfire cuts off access to the highway, and staff or supplies can't get to the plant?
    Not to go all Revelations here, but climate change might also lead to increased likelihood of earthquakes and volcanic eruptions.
    When there's a constant parade of local and regional climate-related chaos — which is soon — you don't want dozens more nuclear power plants in the midst of that.

COP28 president says there is ‘no science’ behind demands for phase-out of fossil fuels
    More bullshit in the face of forever horror. Let's have a bogus convention of 'leaders' against climate change, in the heart of oil country, hosted and presided over by an oil baron, and listen as he basically denies climate change.  

Indigenous advocacy leads to largest dam removal project in US history
    Excerpt: The river’s salmon population has declined due to myriad factors, but the biggest culprit is believed to be a series of dams built along the river from 1918 to 1962, cutting off fish migration routes.
    Now, after decades of Indigenous advocacy, four of the structures are being demolished as part of the largest dam removal project in United States history. In November, crews finished removing the first of the four dams as part of a push to restore 644 kilometers (400 miles) of fish habitat. 

U.S. warship, multiple commercial ships come under attack in Red Sea
    Way back when, headlines like this made me worry. Now it only gets my hopes up for World War III.

Inside America’s school internet censorship machine 

"Lives found ended": Washington Post unveils new euphemism to avoid naming the dead or the ender

Eligible voters are being swept up in conservatives' vigilante efforts to purge voter rolls 

Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton sues Pfizer, claiming vaccines didn’t end the COVID pandemic quickly enough 

Texas Republicans reject proposed ban on associating with Nazi sympathizers and Holocaust deniers 


US Senator Rick Scott (R-Florida) demands detailed info on College Football Playoff's exclusion of team he was rooting for 

House Speaker Johnson argues against democracy, advocating for a republic based on Bible 

Fox News brings in notorious gangster Sammy ‘The Bull’ Gravano to bash Hunter Biden 

Home Depot billionaire to fund Trump even if he is convicted 

New Joisey officials defy federal rule with witty highway signs 

Night of the Cat: The forgotten Southern sexploitation disasterpiece 

The best magic trick ever 

Amusing, Interesting, Outrageous, or Profound
    AIOP is my Lemmy page, for anything that's (in my opinion) amusing, interesting, outrageous, or profound. It's mostly a rough draft of this page, but you're invited to stop by.

The Police Problem
    I also contribute to this Lemmy page about ordinary evil cops.

♫♬  MUSIC  ♫ 

A Means to an End — Joy Division 

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night — Dylan Thomas 

Hurdy Gurdy Man — Donovan 

Loved and Lost — Pogo 

Please Don't Bury Me — Liam Kazar 

⚰️  OBITUARIES  ⚰️ 

Chad Allan
rock'n'roller, Bachman Turner Overdrive, The Guess Who 

John Colaianni
jazz pianist 

Jerry Goldstein
The Castro's Mr Christmas 

Myles Goodwyn
rock'n'roller, April Wine 

Laurence Payne
civil rights activist 

Travis Snyder
founder, The Color Run

12/4/2023   

Cranky Old Fart is annoyed and complains and very occasionally offers a kindness, along with anything off the internet that's made me smile or snarl. All opinions fresh from my ass. Top illustration by Jeff Meyer. Click any image to enlarge. Comments & conversations invited. 

Tip 'o the hat to the AVA, BoingBoing, Breakfast at Ralf's, Chuff, Dirty Blonde Mind, It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time, Lemmy.world, Looking for My Perfect Sandwich, Miss Miriam's Mirror, Self-love Is My Superpower, Voenix Rising, and anywhere else I've stolen links, illustrations, or inspiration.

Special thanks to Linden Arden, Becky Jo, Wynn Bruce, Joey Jo Jo emeritus, Jeff Meyer, John the Basket, Dave S, Name Withheld, and always extra special thanks to my lovely late Stephanie, who gave me 21 years and proved that the world isn't always shitty.

Cranky Old Fart
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itsdougholland.com
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Empty prattle on a foggy afternoon

I'd sure like that job with Metro Transit's help-the-homeless program, but it's unlikely. I've applied for several jobs with Metro, and the bureaucracy is thicker than the all-day fog out my window.

A year or so ago, I applied to be a bus driver, but after six months of runaround I told 'em to fuck off.

They're not always lethargic about deciding, though. Twice I've applied for answer-the-phone work at Metro, helping riders find the right routes and stops — a job I'd be fantabulous at — and both times the answer was a quick 'no'.

Pretty sure that for their help-the-homeless program, anyone who wants to help the homeless will be disqualified. They'll want someone with a Master's Degree and six years of experience managing a shelter.

That's just me being pessimistic, but I repeat myself.

For the past couple of years, there's been less time between needing to go to the bathroom and really, really needing to go to the bathroom. Wouldn't say it's common, but there've been a few times when I've dropped my pants, started the process of bending over and sitting down, and the poop's come blasting out of me before my rump touches to toilet seat.

Getting old, man.

It's not in my top ten worries, but I can certainly envision pooping my pants one fine day. Probably it'll happen at work, if I ever get a job, or maybe while I'm riding the bus to work. Life is an adventure, ain't it?

Here's another poop-related thought: Being fat and none too limber, wiping is difficult, so while unemployed my habit at home has been to shower after a poop, instead of wiping. In the shower, I poke the hand-held nozzle between my cheeks, and a few particles of shit pop out and swirl down the drain.

Well, as I lifted the nozzle for this morning's shower I saw a blop of dried poop that was spread the long way across the handle. Hadn't showered yesterday, so that was two-day-old poop, and this being a shared boarding house, probably I should've been embarrassed. But shit happens, as they say.

And also, I'm not fully convinced it was mine. Even dried, it didn't seem to match my poop's ordinary texture and hue.

Once monthly, I watch a movie with my brother Clay and sister-in-law Karen, and sometimes a few other people. We usually do it over the internet, but once in a while I'm invited to their house, which might as well be in Wyoming, as it's hours from here and has no bus service, so someone has to drive me there and back, and I frickin' hate that.

Being as he's my brother, I try to say yes twice a year, so on the 17th I'll be at their house for a movie.

But immediately there came several happy text messages from Clay saying maybe we could watch some Christmas videos too on the 17th, and sing a few carols.

I ain't interested in that, and replied with what I've told him before, that I don't do Christmas. "If I'm coming over, it's to see a movie, but if this is going to be all fa-la-la-la-la and away in a manger, I'll pass."

He assured me it won't be Christmassy, but a few minutes later came several texts suggesting 'winter' songs we could sing, and a link to karaoke for the Grinch's song from that TV special.

It's December. I never should've accepted an invitation in December. 

He's my brother and he's all-Christian all the time, so I'm 75% certain our movie on the 17th will become a Christmas event, and about half-certain I'll cancel.

I miss Clay, man. Growing up we were so close, and then he found Jesus and I emphatically didn't, and ever since it's felt like we're casual acquaintances.

12/3/2023   

Blaze,
and a few more films

NEVERENDING
FILM FESTIVAL
#229  [archive]
DEC. 3, 2023

Blaze (2022) 

I came into this expecting a movie, but it's a tornado — so angry, intense, fiery that I needed to pause it several times to catch my breath. It's a horror movie, with a horror bigger than the movie.

Blaze is a 12-year-old kid who witnesses a rape/murder in an alleyway as she's walking home from school. She's terrified, frozen, unsure what to do, and afterward withdraws into her imaginary world of household knickknacks that come to life, and a huge purple dragon unlike anything from Disney.

The girl testifies to what she saw, and the court system goes about its business of efficiently shaming, victimizing, and doubting her. She starts cutting herself and turns to mild delinquency and ferocious self-defense classes, and always again comes home to the dragon.

And what a dragon! This is the first feature film from writer-director Del Kathryn Barton, who'd previously been an artist, and she peppers everything with unexpected visuals she's created, put to often-astonishing use.

After the horrific crime to start the story, there are a hundred moments where we're immersed in what this kid's going through, and it's awful, but there are also fragments of joy I'm remembering with watery eyes a week later.

Usually I take notes while watching a movie, but all I typed during this was, "There is no happy ending possible here. This kid is screwed up for life."

I might've been mistaken about that. The story can't plausibly end with a kiss or a hug, but the finish is as exhilarating as it feasibly could be. I've already recommended Blaze to a woman I know who went through something similarly traumatic.

Simon Baker plays the girl's father, and his presence probably helped the film get financial backing. He's fine, and not the annoying presence he was on TV's The Mentalist.

The protagonist is a little kid, but this is not a kids' movie. Well, unless you have a pretty terrific kid, or one who's been through something awful and might need what Blaze offers so beautifully.

Verdict: BIG YES.

♦ ♦ ♦

Beyond Existence (2022)

This opens with a pyramid CGI-ing itself into existence, and a man walks out of the CGI pyramid, and then the pyramid de-CGIs itself away. This is supposed to be a 'wow' moment, but we've all seen CGI and it adds zilch to the story.

Having blown its budget for effects in the first scene, the movie then needs to rely on stuff like acting and a script, and it quickly gets better.

There's a gray-haired heavy-smoking hard-drinking professor on his way somewhere, and several people want to prevent his journey, but the professor deals with the pointed guns and shouted commands, mostly with acerbic comments and occasional insults. 

This is science fiction, but also a mystery, slowly revealed, with tension but enough laughs to keep it light. It tells its story in dialogue between the professor and a tough-as-titanium security blonde as they drive across England. Lots of talk, but it's brainy talk, and it adds up to an intriguing ride, despite that stupid start.

Verdict: YES.

♦ ♦ ♦ 

Beyond the Black Rainbow (2010)

In a secret lab, experiments are being conducted with hallucinogenic drugs, seeking to fully understand and heighten human awareness. A mad scientist takes a trip to the deepest towers and highest basements of human consciousness, and comes back a different man.

Whatever's changed about him, though, he's about as boring as when he left, and he's holding some woman captive because he's a movie-style psychopath.

There's barely any plot, and too much sappy music, not much dialogue. When someone speaks you've been waiting a long while, but whatever's said will be cryptic. Every shot, even of people's faces, is lit or designed to look futuristic, but the future could creep up behind you and get a twenty year head start before anything actually happens in this movie. 

It's beautiful to look at, though — a fatal compliment for a flick that has nothing else going on, and there's nothing else going on here.

Verdict: NO.

♦ ♦ ♦ 

The Crawling Hand (1963)

Have you heard the one about a disembodied hand that crawls toward your neck while you sleep, to strangle you when you least expect it? In the Holland household, this was a common bedtime story, so I had to see the motion picture version.

A space mission goes wrong and crashes, leaving wreckage spread along the beach, where a medical student finds a severed arm and hand. Of course, he brings it home without telling anyone, and the hand, as promised in the movie's title, crawls around, and tries to kill people.

In a cop-out move, the crawling hand somehow takes control of the med student's mind, and starts urging him toward murder. The crawling hand, then, becomes a supporting character, and the movie is mostly about the crazed medical student.

But you know what? It's solid schlock, and that's what I came for. The script has a few intentional laughs, there's a cool murder against a jukebox, Alan Hale (Gilligan's Skipper) plays the sheriff, and if you want B-movie entertainment this fills the bill.

Verdict: YES.

♦ ♦ ♦ 

The King of Marvin Gardens (1972)

David (Jack Nicholson) and Jason (Bruce Dern) are brothers, and opposites. David is a quiet, thoughtful guy who has a late-night radio show, which is the only time he has much to say. Jason is a loud, brash extrovert with criminal connections and big-money schemes that never work out.

He's also the embodiment of one of fiction's most annoying tropes: the character who's difficult for no reason except to be difficult, yet the protagonist keeps coming back for more.

Scene: Inexplicably running someone else's second-hand store, Jason walks out of the shop, and snatches a purse from a random woman walking by, then walks back into the shop. The woman follows him to the counter, with a flock of her friends, all demanding he return the purse. He gives it back with a smile, but now he has a shop full of potential customers, and switches to salesman mode. That's a bullshit moment.

He offers the lady a clock radio at a price too good to be true, and she forgets to be angry with him for having stolen her purse. Instead she asks him to plug in the radio so she can be sure it works, and his response is to drop the radio on the floor, shattering it. That's a bullshit moment.

Then Jason steps away, leaving David to deal with a shop full of angry middle-aged ladies. To calm the situation, he starts giving away free merchandise. That's a bullshit moment.

It's just bullshit moment after bullshit moment with this movie. 

Most of Jason's bullshit moments leave David in an awkward spot, but if my brother behaved like Jason, over and over, I wouldn't voluntarily be in the same space with him for an hour and a half. David puts up with it, and keeps putting up with it, which doesn't make him a great brother so much as a great big dummy.

Possibly, this might've been bearable if Nicholson and Dern had switched parts. Nicholson's whole career was about making eccentric characters fascinating, and Dern was always better at long-suffering guys who have hidden depth inside. With Nicholson as the one who's repressed and internal, and Dern being loud and exaggerated, the movie annoyed the bejeebers out of me (obviously), and now the room's full of loose bejeebers everywhere.

The King of Marvin Gardens is from Bob Rafelson, who previously gave us Five Easy Pieces. You should watch that one twice instead of this one once.

The secondary plot has Ellen Burstyn as Jason's girlfriend Sally, a 'fading beauty' who feels overshadowed by her pretty adult stepdaughter. That's bullshit too, because Burstyn is luminously gorgeous and gives a great performance, and her daughter's an ordinary blonde who's ordinary and blonde.

Sally's running out of patience with Jason, though, and that makes her by far the most believable character in the movie.

Verdict: NO.

12/3/2023   

• • • Coming attractions • • •

Cellular (2004)
The Dark Glow of the Mountains (1985)
Gods of Times Square (1999)
Frankenhooker (1990)
Greystoke (1984)
Hugo (2011)
The Importance of Being Earnest (1952)
The Lawyer (1970)
Not of This Earth (1957)
The Saint in New York (1938)
Same Kind of Different as Me (2017)
The Shooting (1966)
The Spook Who Sat by the Door (1973)
The Train (1964)
Welcome to New Orleans (2006)
Winter Soldier (1972)

... plus occasional 
schlock and surprises 

There are so many good movies out there — old movies, odd or artsy, foreign or forgotten movies, or do-it-yourself movies made just for the joy of making them — that if you only watch whatever's on Netflix or playing at the twenty-plex, you're missing out.

To get beyond the ordinary, I recommend:

AlterCineverseCriterionCultCinema ClassicsDocsVilleDustFandorFilms for ActionHooplaIHaveNoTVIndieFlixInternet ArchiveKanopyKinoCultKino LorberKorean Classic FilmChristopher R MihmMosfilmMubiNational Film Board of CanadaNew Yorker Screening RoomDamon PackardMark PirroPizzaFlixPopcornFlixPublic Domain MoviesRareFilmmScarecrow VideoShudderThoughtMaybeTimeless Classic MoviesVoleFlixWatchDocumentaries • or your local library

Some people even access films through shady methods, though of course, that would be wrong.

— — —

Illustration by Jeff Meyer. Reviews are spoiler-free, or at least spoiler-warned. Click any image to enlarge. Arguments & recommendations are welcome, but no talking once the lights dim, and only real butter on the popcorn, not that fake yellow stuff. 
 
← PREVIOUS          NEXT →

I'll do anything legal for $18 an hour.

You'll be so proud of me — I've started looking for work again.

Not by choice, certainly. There's nothing much better than tilting back in this rickety recliner and watching old movies, or laughing at squirrels in the tree out my window, napping whenever a nap is needed, petting the cat, scratching my ass, whatever. There's nothing much better, but I suppose it sucks that there's nothing much better.

Now I've paid the rent for December, and that's it. My life savings are depleted, except for some walking around money, but there's not enough to pay January's rent. Which means, no more putting off the inevitable. Gotta find a job again, and soon.

Probably it was stupid to walk away from the three jobs I've had but quit, since coming to Seattle, but stupid is my habit. 

After ignoring calls from my temp agency, they've stopped calling, and I'll need to apologize and grovel, and/or find a different agency. Before doing that, though, I'm doing anything legal for $18 an hour.

Unlike 30 years ago when the wage was $5 an hour, I won't need to ride buses all over the city gluing posters to newsboxes and telephone poles. The internet should make things easier.

The ad is live on Craigslist, but I'm doubtful it'll work. I'm lots older than the last time I did this, no longer willing to push a broom or scrub toilets, and America has changed, too. It's not the squeaky-clean 1990s any more — who's going to hire a stranger for housework or fishmongering?

So until the phone rings, I'm also looking at help-wanted listings, and mailing out my none-too-impressive résumé.

♦ ♦ ♦

That said, if you're in the Seattle metro and looking for a butler or chauffeur or someone to tend your senile granddad, drop me a note, please. $18 p/hour, four hours minimum.

♦ ♦ ♦

After breakfast with the family this morning, my bus pulled away just as I got to the Burien Transit Center, so I was stuck there for a half an hour. I grabbed some space on one of the rare benches, and looked around for Metro Transit's help-for-the-homeless team, as described in the article I mentioned this morning.

A black blonde was pacing the concrete grounds, probably trying to keep warm. She was a little jittery, maybe from the cold, or maybe she was on something. Three times she sat beside me, at as much distance as the bench allowed, but only for a few jittery minutes. Then she stood and walked around again. Then she sat, jittered, and walked again, etc.

There was something indefinably wrong about her, and she's someone, I suspect, who could use some help from Metro's help team.

A shaky old white man, emaciated and wearing clothes two sizes too big, pooped in the bus station — with his pants on. He'd been standing, but then hunched over, and from thirty feet away I could hear him grunting. There was no doubt what he was doing, and the security guards watched, but said and did nothing.

Seems to me, if there's a helpful intervention program, he's a man who merits help.

Another woman, older and white, leaned on a wall, talking loudly to herself or the wall. Her central theme was that everyone should go away, because Omar doesn't like them. "Go away, go away," she announced repeatedly, sometimes adding, "Omar doesn't like you." Three transit security guards watched her from twenty steps away.

Then she changed her patter to something racist: "Go back to your country! Omar wants you to go back to your country." It wasn't clear who she was talking to, but it had become offensive, and the guards moved in.

It's the first time I've seen security at the bus station do anything but stand around, and they did a rather smooth job of ushering her off the premises without being too terribly loud or mean about it.

Being nudged away by security, though, isn't helping anyone.

So in thirty minutes at the bus station, I saw three people who needed help, and were offered none.

That article from yesterday's paper grated at me: "Metro outreach teams at Burien Transit Center aid passengers in need," was the headline. "Burien Transit Center is staffed seven days a week, morning and night," it said, with trained helpers for such lost souls. 

Well, there I was at the Burien Transit Center, and I've seen plenty of people there who need help, seen it many times, but I've never seen Metro's help team. Never seen any staff there, except the security guards.

♦ ♦ ♦

At home, I re-read the article, then googled and found the webpage for Metro's program that's supposed to be helping people.

I want to believe that whoever's running the program is trying to help, but it's difficult work, and maybe they're short-staffed, or maybe on this particular Saturday someone called in sick.

When I found contact info for the program, I sent an email, but not an angry one. No criticism. Instead I wrote a few polite paragraphs about what I'd seen, offered to help, and attached my résumé. 

12/2/2023   

Between the Lines,
and a few more films

NEVERENDING
FILM FESTIVAL
#228  [archive]
DEC. 2, 2023

Between the Lines (1977)
Streaming free

This is a raucous but still mellow ensemble dramedy set at a Boston alt-weekly paper. Founded in the '60s, it was radical back then, but now it's the '70s and the paper has mellowed itself out of relevance. The staffers have aged along with the paper, out of their angry 20s and toward their mid-life crisis-filled 30's.

The film offers laughs and insights and arguments, lovers' quarrels, and office politics. Everyone hates the guy who sells ads for the paper, though it's never explained why.

With about a dozen characters, you get to know all of them as deeply as you know your co-workers — enough to like them on a good day, and once in a while want to sock 'em in the chin.

The men squabble with each other, fly into frustrated rages, and all of them itch to write the mediocre American novel. The women are frequently interrupted, sometimes scolded for speaking, and have to holler to be heard — blasé sexism which nobody seems to notice except me here in 2023. 

The movie's a good time, though, and feels authentic. Writer Fred Barron used to work at The Boston Phoenix (RIP), and director Joan Micklin Silver wrote for The Village Voice. They know the scruffy, hang-loose vibe of the place and era.

John Heard and Lindsay Crouse are nominally the stars, but screen time is spread around, with Stephen Collins, Jill Eikenberry, Jeff Goldblum, Marilu Henner, Doug Kenney, Bruno Kirby, Joe Morton, Michael J Pollard, Lane Smith, and Gwen Welles, all younger than you've ever seen them.

Goldblum steals most of his scenes as the paper's wacky rock critic, Collins is presciently creepy, and I wanted more of Pollard, but I never saw Pollard in anything where I didn't want more of him.

Verdict: YES.

♦ ♦ ♦

Blonde Death (1984)

This is a do-it-yourself straight-to-video movie, apparently filmed with a first-generation cassette camera. It's shot and lit and miked and written and directed by one James Robert Baker.

Amateur but amusing for a while, it's about a teenage girl who's been forced to move from the South to California with her leering father and wicked but prudish stepmother. Then the girl makes a new friend, an escaped killer breaks into the house, the girl and the killer fall in love, and ...

This is ever-so-slightly reminiscent of early John Waters, only without the gross-outs and perversions, and without the gross-outs and perversions all that remains is kinda shitty moviemaking. I enjoyed the first third, endured the second third, and clicked it off when I realized I'd lost all interest.

Verdict: NO.

♦ ♦ ♦

Branded to Kill (1967)
Streaming free

Betcha didn't know that paid murderers have rankings, like college football.

Japan's #3 hit-man hails a cab, which just happens to be driven by a retired hit-man who wants to get back into the business. They team up, but get ambushed by #4, and soon #2 is on fire and running from another ambush.

Women and love are part of the story, with plenty of nudity in which you can't really see anything. Then eventually comes the big showdown with Japan's #1 hit-man. It's like a ticket to the playoffs!

This is all treated very seriously in the script but often camped to the extreme by the actors and direction, and it's fun for everyone who doesn't die. All the murders are elegantly choreographed, and the film is fantastically photographed. Seriously, every image in this film is suitable for framing, in wonderful widescreen black-and-white. 

John Woo must've seen this more times than I've seen Casablanca.

Verdict: YES.

♦ ♦ ♦ 

Killings at Outpost Zeta (1980)
Streaming free

A team of space explorers has been sent to investigate the disappearance of an earlier team of space explorers, who'd been sent to investigate the disappearance of an even-earlier team of space explorers, who'd been sent as 'pathfinders' to prep the planet Zeta for settlers. 

Seems to me, with three crews lost it's time to give up on planet Zeta, but the high command (cleverly called 'Star Fleet') has decided that Zeta is desperately needed as a base for further space exploration, so the movie follows this fourth team where several teams have gone before.

You expect bad acting in a low-budget effort like this, but the worst of it's during the setup. Once the mission is underway, the acting is not a problem — no Oscar nominees, but no giggles. The story is good, tightly explained by the script. The planet seems sufficiently otherworldly, with miles of rocks and steam, perhaps filmed on location at some national park. We never get a good look at the alien creatures, but they seem to be warthog-sized moving rocks, and that's kinda cool.

I spent about half the movie outside of it — watching but not really caring, but toward the end it drew me in, and my sphincter was not tightly but slightly clenched. The film achieves average for low-budget schlock, which is frustrating because it's not a lost cause. With a few tweaks this could've been good.

First, jettison the stupid title. Call it Outpost Zeta, or Fourth Time's the Charm.

Second, all these characters only spew facts and fear. Adding just a few jokes and clever asides would make them seem much more human.

Third, fire the set and costume designers, with their shared fetish for the colors red and white — the Star Fleet office, the space station, the spandex uniforms, even the planet, are all red and white (though occasionally they run low on red and substitute a dark orange). 

The biggest problem, though, is the music. As soon as the team reaches planet Zeta, a melody-free woozy quavering begins, weird sounds intended to remind you that outer space is weird. Imagine music without a theremin, but impersonating a theremin — and it never lets up.

Verdict: MAYBE.

12/2/2023   

• • • Coming attractions • • •

Cellular (2004)
The Dark Glow of the Mountains (1985)
Gods of Times Square (1999)
Frankenhooker (1990)
Greystoke (1984)
Hugo (2011)
The Importance of Being Earnest (1952)
The Lawyer (1970)
Not of This Earth (1957)
The Saint in New York (1938)
Same Kind of Different as Me (2017)
The Shooting (1966)
The Spook Who Sat by the Door (1973)
The Train (1964)
Welcome to New Orleans (2006)
Winter Soldier (1972)

... plus occasional 
schlock and surprises 

There are so many good movies out there — old movies, odd or artsy, foreign or forgotten movies, or do-it-yourself movies made just for the joy of making them — that if you only watch whatever's on Netflix or playing at the twenty-plex, you're missing out.

To get beyond the ordinary, I recommend:

AlterCineverseCriterionCultCinema ClassicsDocsVilleDustFandorFilms for ActionHooplaIHaveNoTVIndieFlixInternet ArchiveKanopyKinoCultKino LorberKorean Classic FilmChristopher R MihmMosfilmMubiNational Film Board of CanadaNew Yorker Screening RoomDamon PackardMark PirroPizzaFlixPopcornFlixPublic Domain MoviesRareFilmmScarecrow VideoShudderThoughtMaybeTimeless Classic MoviesVoleFlixWatchDocumentaries • or your local library

Some people even access films through shady methods, though of course, that would be wrong.

— — —

Illustration by Jeff Meyer. Reviews are spoiler-free, or at least spoiler-warned. Click any image to enlarge. Arguments & recommendations are welcome, but no talking once the lights dim, and only real butter on the popcorn, not that fake yellow stuff. 
 
← PREVIOUS          NEXT →