Goodbye again.

From Pathetic Life #1
Monday, June 20, 1994

Today Margaret BARTed back to her sister's house, and she didn't seem angry. She was quite nice all morning, like the lady I remember, someone I'd like to get to know again. I'm just wondering why Sweet Maggie arrived a week late.

There are visible bruises on my neck and shoulders, from the punches she threw at me at the Marina yesterday, and I don't know where we stand, Sweet and Sour Maggie and me.

When I left Seattle three years ago, I invited her to come with me. On the phone a month ago, I invited her to visit me here in San Francisco. I've never quite asked her to marry me, but the subject has come up.

When she got to San Francisco for this two week vacation, I invited her to stay as long as she liked, if she found me and the city to her liking. I guess my invitation still stands. I guess. But I'm not sure she's finding me to her liking. And the 'not sure' is mutual.

She thinks I have a pathetic life, and I can't dispute that. I'm alone, with hardly any friends. Maybe zero. My job, this residential hotel, all my neighbors — there's nothing in my life that wouldn't look pathetic to most people. But this is the life I've chosen, and it's a life I enjoy.

If Maggie's not interested in sharing my pathetic life, hey, that's perfectly understandable. Just say so and say adios. Or if she is interested, then stop slugging me.

This is an entry retyped from an on-paper zine I wrote many years ago, called Pathetic Life. The opinions stated were my opinions then, but might not be my opinions now. Also, I said and did some disgusting things, so parental guidance is advised.

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