Heist (2001)
Streaming free at YouTube
Looking ready to retire, Gene Hackman leads a gang of thieves and con men in one of those elaborate eleven-layer ruses that only happen in the movies. You know, you've seen it — no matter what goes wrong, nothing's really gone wrong, and you're supposed to be amused that this fictional character keeps anticipating what the other fictional characters are going to do.
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| #328 [archive] AUG. 29, 2024 |
It's an enjoyable genre when it's done right, but that's not this.
Verdict: MAYBE.
♦ ♦ ♦
The Heist (2017)
Streaming free at Vimeo
This is a clever short-short, about five minutes, gently satirizing Hollywood with "the pitch" for an upcoming heist movie. It's a laugh, but I'm not saying much about it, because there's not much to say.
Verdict: YES.
♦ ♦ ♦
Hell Bent (1918)
Streaming free at Tubi
This one stars Harry Carey Sr as 'Cheyenne Harry', a notorious drifter and outlaw. There's a $1,000 bounty on his head, but he's trying to reform himself, and he's the movie's good guy. There's been a poker game gone wrong, and a posse is on his tail, so Harry rides into the nowhere town of Rawhide, where he falls for a dance hall girl, then undertakes a long trek across the desert to rescue her after she's been kidnapped.
Ain't nothing particularly wrong with the movie, nor right with it. It's a typical western, constructed entirely of clichés, even for its time. Google tells me it's the 19th of 31 'Cheyenne Harry' films, and it left me with no intense itch to see the other 30. It's of interest primarily because it's so dang old, but still mildly entertaining.
There are two surprising moments. First is the opening, where the story's writer looks at a painting, and the painting comes to life — not what I expected in a 115-year-old film. And later comes a hint of gayness, with one cowpoke insistent upon sharing another cowpoke's bed, and you know he wants to poke more than just cows.
Verdict: YES.
♦ ♦ ♦
Hell or High Water (2016)
Free on DVD from your public library
The flick has just a touch of politics to it, acknowledging that poor people are hurting, that rich people aren't, and that most people get shit on regularly just because shitting on people is what American society does. It lays that message out quite plainly, but never gets preachy about it, all while delivering a pretty good cops-and-robbers movie.
Pine and Bridges are especially good. Script by Taylor Sheridan, directed by David Mackenzie, and the score is by Nick Cave and Warren Ellis.
I first saw Hell or High Water with my wife Stephanie, late summer of 2016, at the Marcus Point multiplex in Madison, Wisconsin. Watching it again, I didn't remember much about the movie, but I remember where we sat (aisle seats, ⅔ back), and I remember that she nudged me and said, "Captain Kirk!" I remember that she wanted Milk Duds but they were stale, and that we talked about the movie on the way home, especially its rather ambiguous ending. We both didn't love but liked it, and I still miss her every hour of every day.
Verdict: YES.
♦ ♦ ♦
Hell Up in Harlem (1973)
Streaming free at Tubi
Black Caesar was OK but not great, and this one's more of the same. Every cop in New York is out to kill Tommy Gibbs (Fred Williamson). Spoiler: They're unsuccessful.
The film is quite sexist even for its time, but the violence is fun, and it assumes all cops are corrupt, which is as true as a documentary. The flick has a few nifty moments, but it's nothing special, and mostly you get the impression Cohen was literally slumming.
Verdict: MAYBE.
♦ ♦ ♦
The Hellbenders (1967; Italy, Spain)
a/k/a The Cruel Ones
Streaming free at Tubi
Colonel Jonas (Joseph Cotten) and his sons are smuggling $1.5-million is stolen cash in a coffin. He needs a woman to play the grieving widow, which is supposed to help keep curious cops and soldiers from inspecting the coffin. First he hires a drunken hooker, but she's killed by one of his sons, so they hire a second woman, Claire, (Norma Bengue, from Planet of the Vampires), who turns out to have some scruples.
She's the only one in the movie who does. The pacing is slow, and the story is dour, mean, and Cotten has never been more boring. Also, Jonas and his clan are Confederates, and the war is over, but they want to restart it. His gang even slaughters some Union soldiers, in an ugly sequence.
I'm pretty sure this movie would suck anyway, but I'm grossed out the existence of an entire genre of movies where Confederates are the Civil War's good guys. We don't see many WWII films where we're supposed to root for Nazis or Japanese soldiers slaughtering American troops, so what's up with the cinematic glorification of American slave-owners turned traitors?
Verdict: NO.
♦ ♦ ♦
• John Ford: The technique of one of America's greatest directors
• Greasy Kid Stuff interviews Larry Cohen
• The making of King Kong: A natural horror adventure
8/29/2024
• • • Coming attractions • • •
Hell's Angels (1930)
Hells Angels on Wheels (1967)
Hells Chosen Few (1968)
A Hen in the Wind (1948)
Hercules (1958)
Hercules (1983)
... plus schlock, shorts, and surprises
especially starting with the letter 'I'.
Just add a comment, below.
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"I remember that she wanted Milk Duds but they were stale"
ReplyDeleteNever in my life have I ever had Milk Duds that *weren't* stale
I don't really know what Milk Duds are supposed to be like. Half the time they're chewy and pull out what's left of my fillings, and half the time they're hard like jawbreakers and crack what's left of my teeth.
DeleteAnother awful candy, btw, is Cracker Jack. I have eaten CJs hundreds of times, and never not found at least some of the caramel-coated popcorn to be old and rubbery.