Kiss the Blood Off My Hands (1948)

After one punch in a bar fight, the punchee keels over dead, and the puncher, Bill (Burt Lancaster), breaks into a woman’s apartment to hide out. She’s Jane (Joan Fontaine), and she’s surprisingly cool with an unexpected killer in her bedroom, but she ain’t enamored with his stalking her all around town the morning after. And then she’s enamored, after all.

Punching people is Bill’s habit, but at least he never punches Jane. After they visit an awful 1940s zoo — all the animals in cramped cages — Bill punches a few more people, which eventually lands him in prison, and blah blah blah, the story gets ridiculouser and ridiculouser and more people get punched. The bad guy is tedious, but inexplicably he’s the only man in the movie Bill won’t punch.

Based on a novel by Gerald Butler (On Dangerous Ground). Screenplay by Ben Maddow (The Asphalt Jungle, Intruder in the Dust) and Walter Bernstein (Fail Safe, The Front). Score by the mighty Miklós Rózsa. Directed by Norman Foster (lotsa schlock and TV).

An ambiguous ending is almost enough to rescue this, but the movie might be better than I think, because Lancaster bores me. Not just in this, in anything. Watching lots of old movies means I’ve watched too much Lancaster, and he’s exactly-the-same in every role. Whatever the movie, you know everything about Lancaster’s character, soon as you see it’s Lancaster, so my patience begins evaporating when his name is in the opening credits.

Verdict: MAYBE.

♦ ♦ ♦

Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye (1950)

A guard at the penitentiary laments that “Ya don’t get prisoners like we got ten or fifteen years ago. They were good and tough in those days.” He says this, sneering, because one laggard on farm duty has complained of thirst, and been escorted to the creek for a drink of dusty water. The prisoner isn’t thirsty, though — he knows a loaded pistol is stashed beside the creek. Then comes the prison break, and we’re underway.

James Cagney stars in “a Cagney Production, produced by William Cagney,” the star’s brother, so everything is perfectly suited to the more famous Mr Cagney’s ample talents. Gaping plot holes don’t matter, long as you don’t stop and think.

Here’s a practical question, though: Early on, before the prison break, dozens of inmates are chained to their beds overnight, then unchained in the morning, so — how do they pee or poop overnight if they gotta?

Ward Bond co-stars as a crooked cop, a delicious change from his usual nice guy shlub. And after seeing Cagney play so many tough guys who were not always respectful of ladies, it’s grand seeing him go up against a strong woman here. He done her wrong, she done him good.

Verdict: YES.

♦ ♦ ♦

Kisses from Paris (2009)

This hokey, fake-romantic 3-minute short reveals in the closing credits that it’s “brought to you by Paris Ile-de-France Tourist Board.” Flush the toilet, and don’t pretend your ad is art.

Verdict: BIG NO.

♦ ♦ ♦

K.I.T. (2013)

17-minutes of mild comedy about social anxiety, in which a woman meets a new potential friend and worries that their conversation is going poorly. I smiled several times, and laughed at the punchline.

No idea what the title means.

Verdict: YES.

♦ ♦ ♦

Sun Ray Cinema Policy Trailer (2024)

A search tells me Sun Ray Cinema is an indie theater in Tampa. This short might mean the Sun Ray hired schlock maestro Damon Packard to make a “please shut up and observe decent movie manners” trailer, to be screened before the feature.

But who knows what’s real and what’s imagined? Packard made this with AI, and his self-written description says the film stars Doris Wishman, who died in 2002.

Ms Make-A-Wishman brings several not-quite-human friends to see one of her classic films at the Sun Ray, then slowly becomes enraged, as anyone should, because the entire audience is texting and talking.

It’s four minutes of grand illusions, an argument against my argument against AI moviemaking. I watched with my mouth agape, not even laughing until it was over. But then I laughed and laughed.

AI is an evil, absolute abomination upon us all… but OK, it’s also a tool that can be used for good, in the right hands.

If anyone reading this is near Tampa, please let me know whether this is actually playing before shows at the Sun Ray. I want it to be true!

Verdict: BIG YES.

♦ ♦ ♦

Maybe Seattle gets a rep cinema at the Egyptian, maybe

Sickos can see movies at a theater inside a hospital… if they’re in England

9/20/2026

Logo illustration by Jeff Meyer.
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If you can’t find a movie I’ve reviewed, or if you have recommendations, please drop me a note. And I mean it — if you ask, I will get you the movie.
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No talking once the lights dim, and only real butter on the popcorn, not that fake yellow stuff.