Dear Doug,
I’ve thought about doing this for several days now, but it’s hard to know what to do. I feel like I am living in my own personal hell, but you & your site were so important to John that I think that you should know. I will not be able to afford an obituary for John, so I wrote one to send to you, his friend:
Sometime in the early hours of September 30, John wrote comments on his favorite blog, had a bowl of ice cream, petted each of his beloved cats & then fell asleep not to wake again.
He leaves the world a little richer for his wit and humor and better for his kindness & decency. Left to grieve his passing are his wife of almost 4 decades (whom he most often called simply Darling), his only sibling, his dear sister & her husband, his wife’s two brothers, who were much like brothers to him, many friends and the cats of the home (including Dr. Bob, vet & friend). We will each of us miss the love & humor that he brought to our lives. Saturday night will not be the same without the repartee & hijinks he deployed & inspired.
John lived his life & faced its challenges with passion and perseverance. He was an example for those of us who must now face the world without him. Besides music, John loved poetry & not long ago in a post on his favorite blog he wrote:
I grow old and my heart beats more and more irregularly. I would like to say something about departing these fair shores, but am at a loss for meaningful words. Thankfully, Wallace Stevens anticipated my need with THE EMPEROR OF ICE CREAM.
THE EMPEROR OF ICE CREAM
by Wallace Stevens
Call the roller of big cigars,
The muscular one, and bid him whip
In kitchen cups concupiscent curds.
Let the wenches dawdle in such dress
As they are used to wear, and let the boys
Bring flowers in last month’s newspapers.
Let be be finale of seem.
The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.
Take from the dresser of deal,
Lacking the three glass knobs, that sheet
On which she embroidered fantails once
And spread it so as to cover her face.
If her horny feet protrude, they come
To show how cold she is, and dumb.
Let the lamp affix its beam.
The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.
Thank you for being such a wonderful friend to John. I will miss hearing him typing away at the computer…
Lera
10/4/2025
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