Friday, May 26, 2023
Every morning it’s a three-block walk from where I get off my inbound #99 bus, and where I get on the #550 or #554 to Millionaires’ Island. I kinda love that walk, across a few of downtown’s seediest blocks. It’s more interesting than anything that happens at the office.There’s a black man most mornings who looks about 40, kneeling at the same spot on the side of the street. The first time I saw him, I assumed he was a bum just doing something bummy, but he seemed very serious about it, and he was there kneeling again the next morning, too. He looks earnestly toward the early morning sun, so presumably it’s a religious thing. Maybe he’s Muslim, and that way lies Mecca. Or maybe he worships the sun.
I have no respect for what that man believes, but weirdly I respect that he believes.
Three days out of five he’s kneeling there as I walk past. When I don’t see him it means I’m running a few minutes late, and if I’m early, he’ll be walking toward his kneeling spot. My times vary a bit, but his kneeling doesn’t. And he’s always wearing a Seahawks jacket, because there’s more than one god.
After work, my bus was moving slowly across the bridge, in heavy traffic on what’s amusingly called a ‘freeway’. With not many seats available, I was in one of the sideways seats, which I despise, but they’re better than standing. You sit facing someone else across the aisle, and it could’ve been a pretty woman, but no, that’s not what fate dealt me. I got an ordinary-looking man, talking on a cell phone.By ‘talking’, I mean exactly that. This was no conversation, it was one man barking into his phone, for the 17-minute ride across the lake. After we’d reached the mainland, he paused for perhaps 15 seconds to allow the other person to say something, but then resumed non-stop talking into his phone, until we reached downtown and he stepped off the bus, still talking.Certainly I’m weird about such things — I don’t like talking, don’t like phones, and utterly abhor talking on the phone — but this was incomprehensible to me, both figuratively and literally, since it was all in Spanish.
Now I’ll become the cranky old man remembering that things were better in my day, and even McDonald’s was better. In my day, sonny, when I worked at McD, they never let up on grinding employees to be nice to the customers, smile, say thank you, and all that outdated jazz.Fifty years later, things have changed.Bad bus luck left me standing around one fine evening after work, and I had a hankering for fast-food — specifically, a McChicken, which is usually on the cheapo menu. Four McChickens makes a nice dinner, with Alka-Seltzer after.There’s a McDonald’s in the rusted industrial area south of downtown, and there I was so I walked in, but nobody was taking orders. There were no cash registers. They only have kiosks, where you push buttons to place your order, and pay by plastic. No cash allowed.I object to that on several philosophical grounds, but I have a debit card and like McChickens, so I placed my first-ever order by kiosk, or tried to. Got as far as seeing a picture of four McChickens and two of their crappy pies on the screen, but the button for “make your purchase” wouldn’t respond, despite my, uh, hitting it pretty hard.There was no ‘help’ button, so I walked to the counter and stood there, but with no cash registers nobody works at the counter. “Excuse me,” I said to two employees, but the first ignored me and the second said only, “Use the kiosk,” as she walked past.Other people were using the kiosk and walking out with food, so my kiosk must’ve malfunctioned. Or maybe you need an app and a smart phone, or you have to join the Ronald McDonald Club.If you know the secret, please let me know, but my bus was due soon, so I had a salad at home, with no Alka-Seltzer needed.
News you need,
whether you know it or not• Catholic clergy sexually abused Illinois kids far more often than church acknowledged, state finds • He visited the U.S. for his daughter’s wedding — and left with a $42,000 medical bill • Eating disorder helpline fires staff, transitions to chatbot days after unionization • New report reveals over 122K are held in solitary confinement in U.S. prisons and jails
• Right-wing US Supreme Court delivers “catastrophic loss for water protections” • Climate change is making New Jersey and New York into wildfire hotspots • Snowpack predicted to retreat in California’s mountains due to climate change
• California cops illegally share data with anti-abortion states, civil rights groups say • He begged police to let him take his heart transplant medication to no avail • 11-year-old calls 9-1-1, gets shot by police • Cop in SUV tries to kill moped driver • New Jersey towns quietly paid $87M to settle lawsuits against cops
• Clarence Thomas’s newest opinion would literally bring back child labor • Most challenges to LGBTQ literature sexual are filed by just 11 people • Florida Republican Chair is a flat-earther • RNC chairperson thinks global economic chaos will help the Republican party • Republicans want children to work in bars on school nights to fill “labor shortage” • Mom who complained about Amanda Gorman poem shared antisemitic conspiracy and praised Proud Boys
Mystery links
There’s no knowing where you’re going
• Click • Click • Click •
• Click • Click •
My browser history
without the porn• Only the good die young: Henry Kissinger at 100 • What do I do if I don’t like a book at the library? (a step-by-step guide) • Charging domestic terrorism is intended to make the cost of protesting too high
♫♬ It don’t mean a thing ♫
if it don’t have that swing• Autobahn — Kraftwerk • I Wouldn’t Want to Be Like You — The Alan Parsons Project • Last Day of School — Boston • Poppy Girls — The Wiz • The Tide is Turning — Roger Waters
Eventually, everyone
leaves the building• Kenneth Anger • Don Bateman • John Dunning • Rick Hoyt • Bill Lee • Roger Mills • Chas Newby • Sheldon Reynolds • Gerald Rose • Zachary Strong • Tina Turner
5/26/2023
Cranky Old Fart is annoyed and complains and very occasionally offers a
kindness, along with anything off the internet that’s made me smile or
snarl. All opinions fresh from my ass. Top illustration by Jeff Meyer. Click any image to enlarge. Comments & conversations invited.
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