Federal agents in DC assaulted with sandwich, freedom fighter escapes
Excerpt: A hero of the resistance, clad in a pink polo shirt and Bermuda shorts, whipped what appears to be a footlong Subway sandwich at Trump’s occupying force in Washington, DC.

AND NOW THE NEWS
#541
AUGUST 12, 2025
a recurring roundup
of news, memes,
and my brilliant opinions
Fort Stewart shooting suspect was relentlessly mocked for stutter, soldiers say
Killing people is bad, m’kay?, but a young man endlessly taunted at boot camp deserves some empathy. If he targeted specific people who’d targeted him, and didn’t just shoot soldiers at random, I’d be willing to let bygones be bygones and buy this gent a cup of coffee.

IT IS ALWAYS THEM AGAINST US
Ohio requires buses for private school kids. Public school students have to find their own ride.
Trump and Cuomo discuss how to block Mamdani from becoming Mayor of New York City
Trump regime warns states: Don’t try to lower broadband prices
Missouri workers devastated by Republican repeal of paid sick leave

BUT THAT’S UNCONSTIPATIONAL
Trans people in Georgia prisons are being forced to detransition. Now they’re suing.
Forced detransition is torture, about the clearest case of cruel and unusual punishment I can imagine, but the Republicans’ Supreme Court will be OK with it.
Judge blocks Beto O’Rourke from financially supporting Texas Democrats who left the state
Gosh — suddenly money isn’t free speech any more?
Trump says he’s placing DC police under federal control and deploying the National Guard
Excerpt: Police statistics show homicides, robberies and burglaries are down this year when compared with this time in 2024. Overall, violent crime is down 26% compared with this time a year ago.
Trump floats deploying National Guard to New York, Chicago, and L.A. after DC takeover
Soon, the pretense will be too much bother, and the end of America will be announced. Feels like the announcement is coming closer and closer. Maybe it’ll a press release this afternoon, but I’ve been thinking it could be “this afternoon” for months.
When it happens, the media coverage will be brisk and shallow, and after two or three days of pundit hand-wringing, the top story will again be wildfires in California or a big wreck on the Interstate.
Excerpt: As night time set around the District, there was a report that the newly federalized police force had set up a checkpoint at the large intersection of New York Avenue and Bladensberg Road. Every car that passed that intersection was being stopped and its driver queried.
Police were seen in force at many metro train stop platforms throughout the day and were visible in high numbers particularly in the downtown area. Squads of police were recorded roving near the African American Museum and the Washington Monument. Groups of federalized police were also roving in downtown shopping areas.
‘This isn’t normal!’ Secret Pentagon plan for troops to put down local ‘unrest’ nationwide
It’s more normal than you think, at least the planning part. The doing part will be something you haven;t seen before, except in newsreels.

GIVE US YOUR TIRED, YOUR POOR, YOUR HUDDLED MASSES YEARNING TO BREATHE FREE, SO WE CAN IMPRISON THEM
‘Like I’m a hostage’ — ICE detention haunts Washington theater manager
Los Angeles animal shelter struggles with overcrowding from pets abandoned during ICE raids
ICE empties L.A. immigrant jail before Democrats arrive to inspect
US citizen detained by ICE in L.A. says she wasn’t given water for 24 hours

TO HELL WITH HEALTH, SCIENCE, AND EDUCATION
RFK Jr defends $500M cut for mRNA vaccines with pseudoscience gobbledygook
White House reviewing Smithsonian exhibits to make sure they align with Trump’s vision
Excerpt: One portion which had previously described Trump’s “solicitation of foreign influence in the 2020 presidential election and defiance of Congressional subpoenas” as the impetus for his first impeachment now includes the word “alleged.”
A description of his second impeachment now omits a claim that Trump made repeated “false statements” challenging his loss in the 2020 election, as well as a quote from the impeachment article accusing Trump of delivering a speech that “encouraged — and foreseeably resulted in — lawless action at the Capitol.”
Me again: Apropos of nothing, my subscription to Smithsonian Magazine has now lapsed.

AND I SAY TO MYSELF, WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD
Five Al Jazeera journalists killed in Israeli strike in Gaza
Leaked drafts show Trump regime scrubbing out human rights violations of favored nations

THE CRUELTY IS WHAT THEY LIKE BEST
Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth shares video advocating for a ban on gay sex
State Department removes LGBTQ mentions from annual Human Rights Reports
Kentucky Karen asks Supreme Court to overturn landmark same-sex marriage ruling
They let their children cross the street, and now they’re felons
Excerpt: The driver, a 76-year-old woman, said she did not see him until he darted in front of her vehicle, the police report notes. (The driver faced no charges.)
Me again: The father’s black, the mother’s white, the prosecutor is a Republican, and this is North Carolina. And this is The New York Times, so the parents’ race isn’t even mentioned. Wouldn’t know it’s a mixed marriage if the paper hadn’t included a photo, but you can bet District Attorney Travis Page knows.

FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF DYSTOPIA
DOJ has lost so many lawyers it might not have enough left to help Trump destroy America
Decline tracking cookies, and HealthLine block access to anti-suicide article
That’s so perfectly 2025.
Fox News decries woke casting of Indian man as star of ‘Sankranthiki Vasthunam’

BAD GUYS
California couple alleges racial profiling by Border Patrol near Jacumba
Excerpt: The couple said the agents initially approached wearing masks, which alarmed them. “Who does that? Criminals do that. Robbers and thieves do that,” George said. “And that’s what we’re seeing by our own government.”
JD Vance praises notorious far-right fake news site: ‘This is why Gateway Pundit is so important’
DHS is blasphemously quoting Bible verses to defend deporting migrants
Reddit will block the Internet Archive

LIMITLESS CORRUPTION
Companies aiding Trump’s immigration crackdown see ‘extraordinary’ revenues
Trump tells Goldman Sachs CEO David Solomon to replace economist over tariff predictions
Trump cracks down on bird deaths, but only from wind turbines

LIMITLESS STUPIDITY
Women shouldn’t hold office, says Republican woman running for office
Republican Congressman posts fake nudes of Dem Rep. Mark Pocan
Trump nominates ex-Fox News host Tammy Bruce as deputy UN ambassador
UK asks people to delete emails in order to save water during drought
Trump nominee to run Bureau of Labor Statistics wants to end monthly jobs report

2547
Trump moves Obama, Bush portraits to hidden stairwell
Trump, 79, confuses Russia and Alaska

OUR FRIENDS, THE DEMOCRATS
DNC to help lead nationwide protests against Republican redistricting plans
Well, that’s better than another $5,000 p/plate chicken dinner, but count me out. I won’t participate in any protest staged by the Democratic Party.

American police are out of control
Ignoring the climate emergency
The Lord works in mysterious ways
My browser history, minus the porn

And that’s the way it is.
I’m off to the dentist
to have my “teeth cleaned,”
whatever that means,
but if it’s not as painful
as pulling teeth, then
I’ll treat myself to french toast
at the cafe afterwards,
and then come home,
and maybe try to write something.
Meanwhile, bigger picture,
nothing will meaningfully improve
until billionaires fear for their lives.
8/12/2025
Logo illustration by Jeff Meyer. Tip ‘o the hat to the Anderson Valley Advertiser, Bleepity-Bleep, Lorem Ipsum Dolor, Mitchipedia, Sloth Unleashed, Toad’s Lily Pad, Voenix Rising, and anywhere else I’ve stolen links, illustrations, or inspiration.
Special thanks to Linden Arden, Becky Jo, Joey Jo Jo emeritus, Jeff Meyer, John the Basket, Dave S, Name Withheld, and always extra special thanks to my lovely late Stephanie, who gave me 21 years and proved that the world isn’t always shitty.

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