Let’s see what happens when your host (me) has nothing to say, and instead it’s open mike night. Step right up, speak your mind, tell a story, sing a song, whatever.
3/1/2025
Anything goes #17
4 responses to “Anything goes #17”
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Nobody cares…
(Oh, thanks to the guy, John?, who put the list of greatest hits up on #14,
I went through them and culled many to sing in my walk in the park…)Ok, I guess I care:
Accidental Hooker
I left Walmart, headed down the highway toward my cabrito dinner (baby goat), then swerved into the other huge chain store, Soriana, at the last moment to check for Barbasol to shave with. They also didn’t have it but they did have customers floating around filling their carts, unlike the nearly empty Walmart. I bought some avocados and drove out of the parking lot, a young woman sitting on the street corner gave me a hitch-hiking wave and I stopped. She climbed into my pickup followed by another girl holding a baby, maybe about two years old, who got into the jump seat in the extra cab.
“Is that your baby?” I asked her.
“No, its mine,” said the girl next to me who had spiked lips and eyebrows.
“Why do you have those?” I asked. She was very cute, sexy with wide dark eyes.
“Look what she has,” she said. The girl in back opened her mouth showing her pierced tongue.
“How old are you?” I asked.
“Eighteen,” she said. We drove on down the access road along the highway.
“You want?” said the eighteen-year old, making jerking-off motions with her hand toward my crotch. Actually, as I had been driving into town I’d thought about the sorry experience a few years ago with the fat whore in the nasty van outside Mickey’s bar on the edge of town, and wondered if there were any cute young prostitutes around.
“Lets go to your house,” she said. “Get a motel room?”
“How much?” I asked. The bi-lingual communication was a problem but I didn’t hear any price. The baby grinned its grimy mouth, the girl put her hand between my legs and fondled me, and I played with her big tits, rolling them between my fingers. She directed me to the “hotel by the hour” and as we drove I dug my hands into the tough fabric of her jeans between her legs.
We arrived at the nondescript doorway and I reached my hand into my jacket in the back seat area, the girl holding the baby looked alarmed until I pulled out a box of condoms from the inside pocket. I paid the woman at reception five dollars for the room, we sat on the bed and I played with her tits some more and tried to take off her blouse. I offered her ten bucks and she just laughed. Her friend, or pimp, came in and also laughed when told of my offer.
“Sixty dollars,” she said and I handed it over. I immediately regretted it, as what I should have done was ask them the price earlier in the car, and if they didn’t give one, tell them to get out. But I was so horny, it’s been since last March, I just let my dick do the talking.
After she got the 600 pesos she asked for more for her friend but I said no way, and slid my hand up her leg while her friend sat on the other bed holding the baby.
“How about you too?” I asked the babysitter..
“Oh, nooo!” she said, laughing.
The girl told me to take down my pants but I told her to just touch me first through the fabric. She rubbed me, got me hard and I played with her titties some more, then she pulled down my pants and the hard pink thing popped up.
“Ooooh!” said the girl. I put the condom on and she jerked and sucked.
“Suave, lente,” I said. Softly, slowly. The other girl sat on the other bed holding the baby in the brightly lit shabby hotel room and I smiled happily at her. The girl worked away, I played with her tits, rubbed her ass, and fondled her pussy over her jeans. She stopped in frustration.
“Bete! Bete!” I said. Go! Go! She continued, I soon came into the condom, and it was slightly discolored semen.
“What that?” the girl said. “You sick? Usually is white or clear.”
“Oh I dunno,” I said. “No, I’m not sick.” I took off the condom and threw it in the waste basket.
“Give me a tip,” she said and started to fondle my necklace. She made a futile effort to reach into my pocket but I ignored her and pulled my pants back up. It would have been quite a score, I had over a thousand bucks in my wallet.
“Give us a ride downtown,” she whined.
“No way,” I said. “You can take a taxi with that 600 pesos!” That’s the last time, I thought, the thrill is gone. (Well, that vow didn’t last long.)
I buttoned my pants, scurried out of there, and headed to a very underwhelming dinner of baby goat.
Now I’m scared, it took a Mexican hooker to make me realize I should check this condition out, which I had been in denial about.
(I was so stressed out I called my doctor, a PA, at his home in California, and he said it was hematospermia and not serious or dangerous. (Caused by the friction of the ejaculation.) It usually disappears within six months to a year he said, but I spent multiple years with it and felt pretty bad not coming clean, a very depressing time in my life.)-
You have an extroverted penis. Mine stays home, hangs out with nobody but two balls and my hand. Keeps things uncomplicated.
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ha, just re-living the inglorious daze of 2006, in this case…
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I can’t imagine the invitational loop-de-loops that would be needed to get my penis out for anyone but myself these days, but even when it was in occasional circulation it was never hookers or hitchhikers. You’d have to buy me dinner (not you, specifically, but the general you) and we’d have to agree on a few things, like Republicans are Reptiles and INVASION OF THE BODY-SNATCHERS is a documentary.
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