our 84th weekly open mike
Let’s see what happens when your host (me) has nothing to say. Step right up, speak your mind, tell a story, sing a song, whatever.
6/13/2026
Anything goes: 6/13/2026
10 responses to “Anything goes: 6/13/2026”
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Garberville Gab
***Eating: As I was driving south toward Texas I experimented with a way to deal with my sugar addiction and called it “preemptive bulimia.” I chewed on doughnuts and any other sugary fat globs then spit it out instead of swallowing.
I got to Mexico, bought a variety of delicious pastry and ate just a bite from each then tossed the bag into the trashcan on the plaza. I went into the market to do some biz but when I came back out I wanted a few more bites. I reached into the garbage, opened my bag sitting on the top and ate a little more. You should have seen the wide eyes and horrified looks from the Mexicans passing by, probably thinking oh poor Gringo…
***Austin Strippers: I was looking for a place to live outside Austin to be with a lover (the one who taught me a lot) who I’d been having a long-distance relationship with for the past couple years. I wanted an older place out in the country with no lease or reference requirements and found it but like most things in life someone else wanted it also. For the first time I got the prize because I turned the landlady on to a sweet joint of Mendo Mello.
A week later she came by with her friend, tarted up with lots of makeup, sexy revealing clothes and big smiles.
“We’re going into Austin to try to get jobs as strippers,” she said. “Want to come along?”
“Nah, I guess not,” I said.
(Damn, now that would have been a story. Fool!)
***Naked Massage: Whenever I’m driving to a big Whale Gulch gathering memories of scenes over the years come flooding back in a pleasant wave of nostalgia. When heading to Beginnings for Nancy’s big 70th birthday party the other day I remembered a massage class that Joan Schirle had lead back in ’75 or so:
Upon arrival at the Tower House there were about ten naked people in the room. And what could I do but take off my clothes too? Soon I was massaging the beautifully pregnant and naked Star, although I remember having trouble focussing on her neck.
Next I was massaging Goat Don, and after a few minutes he opened his eyes and said “Will you stop dripping sweat on me?!”
***Memorable Lines: I went over to visit a friend and after a while I asked if he had any snacks. He got a funny look on his face then opened the oven and took out a package of cookies.
“Really?” I said. “When I come over you have to hide the cookies?” (He nodded.)
*I was getting ready for my roller derby date with the hot chick and told my neighbor I was feeling a little nervous. “Don’t worry, it’ll be fine” he said. “Just don’t be yourself.” (Thanks Mike)
*My friend was done with his young girlfriend and I was giving her a ride home north. One night in a motel in Oregon she said, “You know, I’m a nymphomaniac but you’re a real gentleman.” (Wonderful)
*I was talking with a friendly woman in the checkout line at Ray’s and after a few minutes I said, “So when’s the baby due?”
“I’m not pregnant,” she said. -
I love a good clip show. Vignettes. Scenes fading in and out. All good, dude.
Chew-and-puke was one of the many weight-loss strategies I’ve tried and might try again, since they all eventually failed. Blow-job philosophy: enjoy it in your mouth but don’t swallow, and think of all the calories you’ve saved.
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that’s cool that when i post here on anything goes then no one else does…
it used to bother me that i got no response, well, there’s you but then it feels like
the usual circle jerk…
so stay away chickens, this is my turf, mofos… -
Have you seen After Life by Ricky Gervais?
Also, tell Mum to get better quick so you can get back to movie reviews.
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Added to the list.
I’ve been in the middle of a cool Japanese movie for a month…
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Interesting. Never noticed before, but Mr Gervais’s head is really large, out of scale with his torso. For a minute I thought it was a special effect.
Also, a severe nutkick to whoever decided it’s brilliant to have ads pop up over the last damned twenty seconds. Thought I had an addon that blocked those fucking popups, now I gotta see why it stopped working.
Also also, After Life looks maybe good. Downloaded the first season, thanks.
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From the show:
“I’m fascinated with the anus. Always have been, always will be. The man who is tired of the anus is tired of life.”
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I’ve only watched one episode, but it was pretty good. The anus joke hasn’t come yet, if it’s a joke. Sounds more like a profound philosophy of life.
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