our 86th weekly open mike
Let’s see what happens when your host (me) has nothing to say. Step right up, speak your mind, tell a story, sing a song, whatever.
6/27/2026
Anything goes: 6/27/2026
13 responses to “Anything goes: 6/27/2026”
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Introducing: the ultimate Doug Holland And Now The News feature. If this guy consulted with ChatGPT about his crimes it would have ticked all the boxes:
x church pastor grooming children
x murders his wife
x dumb cops are told “this guy groomed children and murdered his wife” and close the case anyway
x charter school which could have found out at least some of this hired him as a counselor anyway-
Dude also died or was Epsteined in jail, so yeah, he’s definitely a trifecta winner!
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lol thank God they put the suicide prevention hotline at the bottom of that article. There is hope!
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Hadn’t noticed that, ha.
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Day after day, spending hours singing hymns and talking about old times with my mom, plus spending hours riding the bus to and from her house, leaves me a lump by the time I get home. And lumps don’t write. Lumps just sit there, so the blog is withering.
Bought an extra laptop, set it up at my mom & sister’s house, and they’ve had the internet installed, so now, in theory, I can write while I’m there. Or just connect to the outside world via some method that isn’t MS NOW.
Hasn’t happened yet, though. Today I used the internet to look up more hymns we could sing, since we’d worn out “He Arose” and “What A Friend We Have in Jesus” (which I always sing ‘Jeebers’ not ‘Jesus’).
Most days Mom naps, though, so maybe for an hour tomorrow I’ll be able to think of things beyond hymns and old times and Mom’s health, her sweater on, her sweater off, her meds, her meals, her footrest, her newspaper, her sweater on, her sweater off…
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Glad to hear you’re adjusting to your enviroment and you’ll have a bit of a reprieve from MS NOW (could be worse, a LOT of older folks have Fox News on 24/7).
From my perspective the blog hasn’t been lagging. You’ve had some really solid entries this month, and I’ve really enjoyed reading them.
While I can’t really get into the material, I think singing is generally good for you. It is interesting that it seems done mostly in church and karaoke bars. I think if more folks sang regularly it would lighten their load, as long as I didn’t have to hear it.
I’ve had two cataract surgeries in the last two weeks. It’s odd experience and will take some getting used to. Now instead of being near sighted, I’m far sighted. Glasses aren’t needed to drive or to watch a film, but reading glasses are needed for my phone and computer. I was sedated but concious during the surgery and it was a bit of trip. Closest comparision would be the end of movie visuals in 2001, right before he hits the living quarters.-
Congrats on the improved eyeballs. And whoa, really? It was trippy like 2001? Had they at least told you to expect trippy visuals?
So you were awake; did they tell you not to move? That was the nuttiest part of my surgery last year — the docs asking me not to move, flinch, even scratch my nose without telling them first. They’re doing such delicate work, I dunno, what if I get the hiccups? Thought it would’ve been safer to either knock me out or tie me down.
Mom’s politics have always been Republican, but she can smell shit so she hates Trump, which is one of my favorite things about her.
Thanks for saying something nice about the blog. Rock on with better vision, friend.
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Navigating The Family Reunion
First of all try not to be yourself, which for me means being curious about everything and asking a lot of questions except that in our family there are topics which you can’t talk about and words you can’t say. This is because everyone except me is “woke,” maybe super-woke. (What does woke mean, anyway? A few years ago the first sister said it meant not being racist, sexist or homophobic which sounds like common sense. Now it means whatever you want it to mean, such as thinking you’re right, “politically correct,” and anyone who disagrees with you should be shouted down and not allowed to speak.
It would be interesting to ask the second sister why she lists her pronouns on her email page, just curious, and why the third sister has a daughter who wants to be referred to as “they.” Not just if she’s there in the room, even if she’s thousands of miles away and I’m talking to her mother. I would really get in trouble and start a big unnecessary argument if I said, “She’s not here, why do I have to play the pronoun game, why not just refer to her as ‘she’ in this private conversation?” But that’s not allowed, the kids are in charge and the rules of woke must be followed if you want family peace and harmony.
Well at least we all hate Trump and his ongoing impeachable offenses, including murder, so we thankfully have that to agree with. I would like to ask what they think about the link between “culture war” politics and why he was elected, mostly because I don’t want to be bored and boring and discussing stimulating issues might mean we’re an interesting family?
(Recent polls show that the populous moderate middle which tips the electoral balance nationally supports gay rights, gay marriage and trans rights but not trans reassignment for children under eighteen, schools teaching students they can choose their gender and trans athletes competing against biological females.)
In my family “fat,” the “f” word, is a dirty one and you shouldn’t mention body type if you want a pleasant reunion. Food is also a big issue with us and at previous gatherings we couldn’t all sit down for a family meal because everyone ate different things at different times. That probably includes me now since I’ve been eating yogurt, muesli, apple and banana for dinner, making green drinks once a week and that seems pretty weird even to me. Would I want to be questioned about it, sure why not? I love answering questions, especially on my favorite topic, me.
(Forty years ago when living down a lonely dirt road in my desolate cabin in the woods and living on can beans and cardboard tortillas I was probably too stoned and uptight to try to explain my situation. Even when I was obese no friend or family ever said, “So what’s with the belly, big guy?” I finally started to figure it out with guidance from the neighborhood nutritionist, Ray Raphael’s wife Marie.)
“Thin,” the “t” word, is also verboten and nothing about size is allowed in conversations. Hey, it’s nice to not hurt someone’s feelings but do they have to make a religion about it? Can’t I not believe in your wokey god? At least we’re not in one of those Islamic countries where they kill you if you leave your religion. (If you happen to blurt out, “You look nice,” you will be called on it instantly by the sensitive triggered ones, or silence will descend accompanied by concerned looks.)
I’d like to feel free to joke about anything and tease myself and others. Once I said something funny about ‘Me Too’ and the first sister said, “You do not joke about ‘Me Too!’” I also caught some flack from another radical feminist when I wrote that the more attractive a woman the more she gets harassed and that copping a feel is not the same as rape. (Remember Al Franken, the president we never got to have?)
Sometimes it’s best to just look on with amusement, like when the editors at the Northcoast Journal make their writers state their pronouns at the end of their stories. That used to really annoy me but now I see them as special, like retarded. (Oops, the “r” word.)
We’re having this reunion in July because since our mother died a few years ago there’s no center, no one to fly or drive to long distances and congregate around once a year, which made her very happy. Is it time for chaos and anarchy as we try to figure out what to do each day leaderless?
Really though, I’m lucky to have this nice family and we do deeply care about each other, even if we’re usually out of contact. Enough with this divisiveness, let the adventure begin! (I’ll try not to be Captain Faux-pas though it might be hard to not be myself.)
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People are fascinating, in small doses. Everyone’s offended about something. My hick stoner Republican nephew never stops telling anyone who’ll listen that he’s offended when he sees homeless people living in cardboard boxes. I’m offended that people have to live in cardboard boxes, which is not quite the same thing.
It’s often used as an insult aimed at fat people, so ‘fat’ can sound rude, and I wouldn’t use that word with my fat friends. Me, though, I’m fat and have noticed it, so you can call me fat. It’s an adjective, that’s all. Like ‘retarded’ used to be. Depends on context.
‘Woke’ just means someone’s a decent human being. When Lew Alcinder said he was Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, decent humans began calling him Jabbar. Pronouns and gender work the same way. You are who you say you are. Decent human beings — we the woke — make an effort to be decent, and others don’t. None of it’s in my Top 10,000 issues, though.
And muesli is gross, isn’t it? Or am I thinking of mucus?
Al Franken was a comedian who got elected to the US Senate, but had once, horror of horrors, mimed groping a woman. Nobody says he actually copped a feel without permission, but for miming it he resigned from the Senate, which is funnier than most of his jokes as a comedian. What a maroon.
Hope you enjoy your family reunion. Mine’s in July, too, and I’d much, much rather not go but I’m going. I don’t think of second cousins as family, hate hanging out with people who do, and it’s Eastern Washington in July so it’ll be 212°, but at least we still have Mom as the centerpiece, the oldest living Holland.
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Jo Jo Dancer, Your Life Is Calling
Watch it
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Another light comedy for the laughs page?
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It’s funny because it’s Pryor, but surprisingly candid and touching. He’s so good at playing desperate people at the end of their rope, this, Blue Collar, etc.
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Downloaded and queued up next, after Hundreds of Beavers.
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