every movie ever made, in alphabetical order
(we’re in the J’s, with anti-alphabetical cheats)

Jû jin yuki otoko (1955)
Jubilee (1978)
Judas and the Black Messiah (2021)
Judas Kiss (2011)
Judex (1963)
Local Hero (1983)
The Orchid (1971)

Jû jin yuki otoko (1955)

On a ski trip to the Japanese Alps, members of a mountaineering club encounter an undiscovered village, where everyone worships a mythical monster that turns out to be not so mythical.

From the famed Toho horror film factory, this is a lukewarm semi-thriller about the abominable snowman. It offers some brief but snazzy stop-motion work, and surprising cruelty from the villagers, whose bearded leader leads by repeatedly beating a woman.

Directed by Ishirō Honda (Godzilla), this moves too sluggishly to earn a recommendation.

A few years later, for American audiences, 45 minutes were subtracted and a few English-language scenes were added, starring John Carradine. This was released under the title Half Human, which I haven’t seen, but can’t imagine is any better.

Also, who knew there were Japanese Alps?

Verdict: MAYBE.

♦ ♦ ♦

Jubilee (1978)

This is my first film by Derek Jarman. It’s the nihilistic semi-story of an angry collective of mostly-female misfits and malcontents who now-and-then mouth enjoyably radical statements, but mostly lie around trading retorts, or lie around without retorts, or even torts.

It’s either very punk or a satire of punk, but mostly it’s mad (in both the good and bad sense) and bleak. I enjoyed the castration and murder of a cop who clearly deserved it, and some of the strange poetry that’s recited at random moments. Enjoyed a lot of this, honestly — it’s an extended freakshow, and that’s cool, but I prefer freakshows with a coherent plot.

Stars Toyah Wilcox, Adam Ant, Ian Charleson, Little Nell, Richard O’Brien, a Queen Elizabeth lookalike, and Siouxsie and the Banshees.

Verdict: MAYBE.

♦ ♦ ♦

Judas and the Black Messiah (2021)

This is the true story of Bill O’Neal (LaKeith Stanfield), a black man arrested in the 1960s for petty crimes, threatened with a preposterously long prison sentence, but offered a way out: join the Black Panthers, and become an informant for the FBI.

You can say you wouldn’t do it, and maybe you wouldn’t, but O’Neal did it, and (at least as depicted here) it’s hard to hate him for it. He’s instructed to become friends with Fred Hampton (Daniel Kaluuya), the young deputy chairman of the Black Panther Party, because feds fear that the charismatic Hampton could rise to power and become the next Malcolm X or Martin Luther King — the dreaded “Black Messiah” who leads his people to equality, or an uprising, or whatever terrifies white people most.

Thus it became J Edgar Hoover’s mission to end Hampton’s career, legalities forgotten in the name of “national security.”

Kaluuya (Black Panther, Get Out, Queen & Slim) is too old to play Hampton, but that doesn’t stop him from turning in another excellent performance. Stanfield’s role is precarious, always a bad line or misplayed moment from becoming a clichéd stool pigeon, but there’s no misstep in either script or performance.

What kicks your nuts, though, is that the film is clearly on the Panthers’ side. We’re shown the good works they did — free breakfasts for kids, and free inspiration for black people — along with their lawbreaking, but we’re also shown white authorities and cops’ despicable nature, violence, and unending treachery. None of this is presented in passing, and you don’t have to be taking notes to get the message that whitey was and still is keeping black folks down, so self-defense is justified.

Yet the politics never gets in the way of the film’s compelling, often thrilling story. It’s entertainment with brains and principles, all the way. With Dominique Fishback, Jesse Plemons, Ashton Sanders, and Martin Sheen. Perfectly directed by Shaka King, who was unknown to me before this.

It’s surprising that a film so point blank radical exists, but frickin’ flabbergasting that it was made by Warner Bros. A major studio backing a movie so opposed to the status quo, and so recently, makes me question my always-cynical assessment of Hollywood.

Verdict: BIG YES.

♦ ♦ ♦

Judas Kiss (2011)

Zach Wells is a frustrated filmmaker, who’s been named a fill-in judge at his alma mater’s annual short film competition. Wells won the contest, 15 years earlier, when he was Danny Reyes, before changing his name for show biz, and his film was titled Judas Kiss. So imagine Zach/Danny’s surprise when one of the contestants is a freshman filmmaker named Danny Reyes, whose film is titled Judas Kiss.

Young Danny might be the same kid Zach/Danny was, 15 years earlier or later, depending on your perspective. Complicating things further, Zach/Danny is gay, Danny has a nice ass, and they’d slept together before Zach/Danny was appointed a judge.

It’s not the worst concept for a mind-bender, but nothing bends very far. Set at the college campus, almost all the characters are tediously 18-22, zygotes so inherently unformed that the film’s attempted depth lands like a high-dive in the shallow end of the pool.

Verdict: NO.

♦ ♦ ♦

Judex (1963)

It’s the 19-teens, and a rich guy is blackmailed via anonymous letters, demanding he give half his wealth to charity to atone for the crimes that made him rich, or face the consequences. Of course, he hires a private dick to find who wrote the letters.

Same rich guy is also hosting a ginormous costume ball, and same private dick is in charge of security. At the masquerade, several guests wear elaborate and startlingly realistic bird heads. Rich guy takes off his bird-head and announces his daughter’s engagement, and then drops dead.

Did Judex do it? Judex, we’re told, is a Latin word meaning judge or avenger, and it’s the non de plumage of a bird-headed magician with an itch for vengeance and a knack for dashing heroics. He’s the bird who wrote the blackmail letters, but he didn’t kill the rich dude. Or did he?

This isn’t a simple tale of justice or vengeance. It’s complicated, not quite hard to follow but you definitely want to pause it if you gotta pee.

Memorable moments, in no particular order, include a premeditated vehicular homicide, an I-C-U-2 TV, a couple of resurrections, a standing fuck-dance, sci-fi in the ceiling, a plot-twisting coincidence, and an acrobat and an assassin, one wearing white the other black, in a rooftop battle to the death. And of course, they’re both women.

There’s nothing profound about Judex. It’s pure fun, and it’s a masterpiece of pure fun.

Verdict: BIG YES.

Judex is based on a silent-era cliffhanger serial which I’d be intrigued to see, but all the copies I’ve found are literally silent, with no musical accompaniment. And that, of course, is dumb and wrong. Silent films were never intended to be screened in silence, and much like colorizing a black-and-white film, showing a silent film in literal silence is an abomination against art.

♦ ♦ ♦

Local Hero (1983)

A major oil company wants to buy an entire village on Scotland’s northern coast, to build a massive refinery. This would destroy the area’s idyllic beaches and cliffs, but it would also make almost everyone in town unfathomably rich. The oil company’s eccentric CEO sends an American executive with a Scottish name to negotiate the purchase price, and there’s your set-up for a low-key clash-of-cultures comedy.

The film is full of small town characters and dry quips and architecture where everything’s at odd angles (symbolic of life, no doubt). The humor is so subtle as to be nearly missed until you’re accustomed to the vibe. I started chuckling after about half an hour, and mostly didn’t stop.

My favorite line is when military bombers swoop over the area, and a local says, “They practice here. As long as they’re bombing the beach, they can’t be bombing anywhere else. It’s kind of comforting.”

I saw Local Hero when it first came out, and found it enjoyable, even sweet, but couldn’t bring myself to love it to the extent of all this movie’s fans and rave reviews. Yesterday’s rewatch was suggested by a now-dead friend, who posted here as johnthebasket. It was one of John’s favorite films, so I’m sorry to report that my reaction remains the same as in 1983.

It’s a comedy with laughs, great scenery, pleasant music from Mark Knopfler, winning performances from Peter Riegert, Peter Capaldi, and Jenny Seagrove as the web-toed Marina, and the airy loftiness you’d expect from Burt Lancaster as the kooky CEO.

Spoiler, for those who haven’t seen it: The subplots are more enjoyable than the plot plot, where the happy ending comes from the Lancaster character’s obsession with astrology. When the stars align, he simply decides, what the heck, he’ll build his refinery somewhere else.

Such eccentrics weren’t allowed to run big businesses 40 years ago and they certainly don’t now, and it’s childish to pretend that a benevolent billionaire will rescue us, so hello? Everything in that lovely Scottish town and along the picturesque coastline is about to be destroyed, then completely obliterated by regularly-scheduled oil spills.

Imagine a charming, winning comedy about a deranged American president threatening war on Greenland or Minnesota, who then jets over and gets to know some of his soon-to-be-victims, and decides, aw shucks, I’ll drop the bombs elsewhere instead.

Maybe it’s a funny flick, and this one is, but also, c’mon.

Verdict: YES.

♦ ♦ ♦

The Orchid (1971)

Samuel R Delany is a science fiction writer of great renown to my generation, author of Babel-17 and The Einstein Intersection. He’s also the writer-director of this 32-minute featurette, where the actors introduce themselves, the music rebels against melody, and the narrative eschews plot.

An older gentleman walks across New York City, followed by a camera crew, a crowd wearing B-movie monster masks, and the cutest kid of all cute kids. The actors sometimes burst into dance, other times undress. There’s no dialogue until 25 minutes in, when a hairy guy with a microphone delivers an intentionally tedious soliloquy on the street.

What it means I can’t approximate, but it’s art, and I kinda liked it.

Verdict: YES.

1/21/2026

Logo illustration by Jeff Meyer.
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If you can’t find a movie I’ve reviewed, or if you have recommendations, please drop me a note.
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No talking once the lights dim, and only real butter on the popcorn, not that fake yellow stuff.