From a few years ago,
my move back to Seattle…
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30 years ago, I ran away from home, and I’ve stayed away since. Only visited twice. Seattle is where I grew up, if I ever did, and there’s family there — a pretty good family, honestly — but being away from there is what I wanted, so I left.

It’s been a good life, with not much I’d change, except the part where my wife died. She was the best partner anyone ever had, and my best friend. She still is.

She’d brought me to Wisconsin in the ’00s, and we loved it here. I still do. Everything in this apartment and everything out the window is a reminder of her — she cooked at that stove, sat in that chair, and we walked in that park, ate at that restaurant. It’s marvelous, and I’m very much at home here in Madison.

I’m old, though. The warranty has expired. When my health starts failing I’ll need someone — and also I’d like to be there for my Mom and brothers and sisters as needed.

The idea came in the shower, like most ideas do. Madison is my favorite of all the places I’ve lived, so I’ve tried to talk myself out of this, but lost the argument. The decision was decided a few hours ago: I’m moving back to Seattle. Prodigal son, and all that.

♦ ♦ ♦

Moving is daunting. When I was young, I moved a dozen times, all over the country, but that ain’t me any more. Now I’m wrinkled, decrepit, full of nothing but farts and weariness. It’s exhausting just thinking about packing, lugging, getting myself and my stuff across the country, finding a new place and a new job and a new diner. It feels like the biggest dare since I was 7 and jumped off a bridge… and broke my arm.

There’s no deadline or timetable, cuz that’s what organized people do, not me. I’ll pack at my lazy pace, and it’ll be months before I’m on the road. This morning I started boxing stuff up, though, so — Seattle, here I come.

♦ ♦ ♦

Also there’s this, from today’s weather: 

Originally published as Prodigal son, and all that,
2/19/2022
Republished 4/14/2025

itsdougholland.com
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