The Krone Experiment (2005)

On a regular, recurring basis, a small but frightful phenomenon pushes up from the bowels of the earth, bursting out at a different location every time. With enough data, scientists can predict where and when the next bubble-up burst will happen, but what’s causing it is a mystery.

That’s the set-up for this sci-fi & political thriller, and be forewarned that it’s a micro-budget film. The acting is spotty, the Russian accents aren’t very Russian, and a few dramatic scenes accidentally border on camp. The biggest problem is the sound mix, with the affordable and interesting piano-only score twice as loud as it should be, never drowning out the actors but sometimes stealing attention from the scene.

The story is strong, though, and the film is a success, long as you’re not expecting Alien or The Abyss. Based on a novel by supernova scientist J Craig Wheeler, it was co-scripted by Wheeler and his son, J Robinson Wheeler, who also directed and produced, ran the camera, wrote the music, rigged the lighting, etc.

What we have here, then, is perhaps the finest Father’s Day card ever, but that’s not an insult. The film is cheap but not schlock, and worth your time.

Verdict: YES.

♦ ♦ ♦

Kronos (1957)

Earth is invaded by aliens who’ve mastered the opposite of nuclear weapons — making matter out of energy. They’ve built a giant robot to wreak havoc, and it wreaks away. The effects are cheap, the plot recycled and worn, and the scientist sketches world defenses on a chalk board.

It’s not an insult to your intelligence, though, and the story features a woman who does more than merely scream and make coffee. The script doesn’t give her much to do, but if she doesn’t do it, the space aliens win.

Verdict: YEAH, WHY NOT.

♦ ♦ ♦

Krrish (2006)

This is a big superhero movie from India, with major league effects and music. I’m weary of superhero movies, and grew wearier as this one went along and along. It’s almost three meandering hours, and frequently bursts into song. It was half over before it’s revealed as a superhero movie, but I’m kinda dense so maybe that’s on me.

OK, the story: Krishna is a boy who excels at everything from art to athletics. He’s being raised by his grandmother, who seems surprised at his extra abilities, though she later reveals the boy’s pre-birth backstory that explains it all — he’s the son of the dummy who became briefly brilliant in Koi… Mil Gaya. (I hadn’t knows this was a sequel when I hit play.) Krishna has been endowed with superdooperpowers, and when he’s on-duty he goes by the superhero name Krrish.

All this is bewildering to someone not Indian, and I am not Indian. Absurdities abound. Someone, never seen on screen, keeps winneying like a horse all through the film, and nobody notices. A guy doing a David Spade impression pops up every ten minutes or so.

Despite all this, Krrish is more fun than Koi… Mil Gaya. It has no brains, but does have a heart.

Verdict: YES.

♦ ♦ ♦

Krull (1983)

Peter Yates made Bullitt, The Dresser, and one of my favorites, Breaking Away. He also dropped plenty of cinematic turds, including this bloated science-fiction-on-horseback piffle.

It’s the opposite of The Krone Experiment — made with a huge Hollywood budget, but without any spark of inspiration or passion.

Robbie Coltrane and Liam Neeson have small roles here, early in their careers, though they’d probably prefer I hadn’t mentioned it.

Verdict: NO.

♦ ♦ ♦

Once Upon a Time in a Cinema (2025)

It’s the 1980s. Earl Clancy owns his small town’s only movie theater, but it’s struggling as home video becomes more and more popular. Running the business is a nightly hassle, and on this particular Friday night, Richard Gere’s remake of Breathless plays on screen, while Earl deals with kids smoking pot in the seats, his daughter making out with her scuzzy boyfriend, and a brief power outage, all after the projectionist has quit, leaving Clancy to spool the film himself.

Once Upon a Time in a Cinema is a fine romance with no kisses — the romance is the town’s love for the theater, captured better here than in any film since Cinema Paradiso. It’s as corny as corn flakes over corn dogs smothered in corn syrup, but there’s a bit of depth, and occasional magic.

Take your favorite seat and enjoy the show, and pay attention or you’ll miss all the little things that add so much. Every moment interlocks with other moments, earlier or later, resolving all the myriad subplots at the end.

‘Film’ is a two-syllable word, because this particular fil-um is extremely Irish. I needed subtitles, and still wonder what it means to “eat jelly” at a cinema. If you know, please ‘splain it to me.

Written and directed by David Gleeson, who, the internet tells me, was raised in a family that owned a movie theater. But I already knew that; it’s obvious, just from watching the movie.

Verdict: BIG YES.

10/13/2026

Logo illustration by Jeff Meyer.
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If you can’t find a movie I’ve reviewed, or if you have recommendations, please drop me a note. And I mean it — if you ask, I will get you the movie.
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No talking once the lights dim, and only real butter on the popcorn, not that fake yellow stuff.