There are so many good movies out there — a hundred years of old movies, plus thousands of odd or artsy, foreign or forgotten or DIY movies made just for the joy of making ’em — that if you only watch whatever’s on Netflix or playing at the twentyplex, you’re missing out.

♦ Attack from Space (1965)
— BIG NO —

Japanese sci-fi from that country’s silly era. The Sapphire galaxy is launching war on Earth, but luckily the Emerald planet is benevolently sending help to protect our puny Earth — a superhero called StarMan. The space-alien costumes are preposterous and the story is nonsense, but the space-music is cute.

♦ Creation of the Humanoids (1962)
— YES —

I had never heard of this movie, and wasn’t expecting squat based on its ridiculous title, but to my surprise it’s smart and interesting.

World War III has killed billions of us, and of the few survivors, fewer still are able to have children. What’s left of humanity relies more and more on robots so advanced that they design their own improved models.

♦ The Man Who Cheated Himself (1950)
— BIG YES —

A San Francisco detective has a conflict of interest in a murder investigation, and here’s the twist: His partner is his brother, and it’s kinda hard to fool your brother.

Lee J Cobb is perfect. The movie’s femme fatale, Jane Wyatt, is best known (to me) as Spock’s mother in Star Trek IV. John Dall as Cobb’s kid brother is irritating, but he’s irritating in everything and for this movie I think he’s supposed to be. Classic noir, filmed in San Francisco.

Trivia: Here’s an interesting (but spoiler-filled!) look at Fort Point, where the movie’s climax takes place.

Memorable moments:
• The murder moment — it’s plausibly self-defense, but any veteran cop knows better than to trust the justice system.
• Phone call for John Dall.
• Fort Point, the tower, and the scarf.

♦ Midget Zombie Takeover (2013)
— YES —

This zero-budget zombie flick was made by amateurs, I sure hope. Some of the acting is embarrassing, and despite “midgets” in the title the zombies appear to be of ordinary height. Under the ground rules here, zombie attack victims can’t fight back, they can only scream as they’re eaten, presumably because fighting back might mess up the zombies’ makeup. There’s one brief scene toward the middle that’s mildly scary for five seconds.

On the plus side, all the women wear bikinis throughout the movie, but it passes the Bechtel test with flying colors. What makes it rock is that every five or ten minutes there’s a line of dialogue that’s (intentionally!) funny. I laughed out loud 6-8 times, including once for about 15 seconds uninterrupted. It’s wildly stupid, though.

And who says I don’t watch 21st-century movies?

♦ Mondo Trasho (1969)
— MAYBE —

♦ The Red House (1947)
— MAYBE —

Edward G Robinson plays a farmer with a wooden leg, who hires a high school boy to help with the chores. The farmer’s daughter is a little too happy about having the boy around, and when the kid walks home at the end of his first shift, Edward G seems awfully concerned that he’s taking a shortcut through the woods. It’s an enjoyable mystery with a wackadoodle resolution.

♦ Spider Baby (1967)
— YES —

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