My brother Clay and his wife Karen begat two sons long ago, Michael and Tom. The boys are adults now, in their late 30s, married and with begats of their own. Today’s ramblings are about my nephew Michael & his family, but the writing is to help me figure stuff out, more than to entertain you, dear reader, so please accept pre-apologies if it’s as boring as bowling on TV.
Michael & his family — wife Sabrina, and children Elrod, 10, and Kimmy, 6 — live twenty miles from me, but since moving back to Seattle three years ago, I’ve seen them only half a dozen times. We’ve had no conversations beyond the superficial, so I barely know them.
That’s entirely my fault, of course. I am reclusive to the max, issue few invitations and accept fewer, and I’m extra-reclusive with kooks. Michael & Sabrina are anti-vaxxers, which is simply stupid. I’m patient with people who are accidentally stupid — mentally challenged, uneducated, or simply not too bright — but my patience for the intentionally stupid is nil.
That said, Michael & Sabrina seem to be nice people, and I wish them well, from twenty miles away.
They want more children, but Sabrina doesn’t want to squeeze out any more herself, so they’ve been planning to adopt. In America, though, any adopted children would be pre-vaccinated, and the terms of adoption would include a requirement to keep vaccinations current all through childhood. Such common sense is a deal-breaker for Michael & Sabrina, so they can’t adopt children in the USA.
That’s why, for many months, they’ve been planning a trip to the Dominican Republic (the DR), where vaccinations are not required, and where Michael & Sabrina will adopt two children. They selected their new kids based on an orphanage’s online listings, so they knew their names before meeting them. The girl is Cendy (not Cindy), the boy is Dannel (not Daniel), and they’re biological siblings so they come as a set.
A few weeks ago, Michael & Sabrina and Elrod and Kimmy flew to the DR, to begin the adoption process. It’s not a quick trip, like going for carry-out. The DR’s rules stipulate that they must spend 90 days in the Dominican, getting to know Cendy and Dannel.
After three months of bonding time, plus paperwork and signatures and such, the adoptions will be legal in the DR. Then comes the wild card in all this — Michael & Sabrina will fly back to America with four children. Will Trump-era border and customs agents acknowledge the adoptions and let a family of six enter this country?
Other than being anti-vaxxers, Michael & Sabrina are not stupid, so they’ve consulted with lawyers, and we’re all hoping they return with four kids and minimal drama.
But even after that, there’s so much that could go wrong. It could take years for the new kids to feel fully accepted, in their new family and new country. There might be unknown traumas in Cendy and Dannel’s early childhoods that come bubbling up later. Elrod and Kimmy might feel intruded upon. Everything about adoption is a gamble, and it’s permanent — there’s no changing your mind, six months or six years later. And in addition to the normal problems of adopting and raising children, add two extra factors: the new kids are black, and speak only Spanish.
Welcoming Cendy and Dannel to their home and family is a huge human kindness, and makes me respect Michael & Sabrina in spite of their kookiness. I should add “full stop” there, because what they’re doing is jawdropping. I’ve never had that much kindness in me.
But still, when anyone in the family mentions Michael & Sabrina, their kookiness is always the first thing that comes to my mind, and I wonder what further strangeness they believe. Maybe they reject all of modern medicine, not just vaccinations. Maybe they’re flat-Earthers. Maybe they’re MAGA.
They’re anti-vax and opposed to public education, so Cendy and Dannel will be home-schooled by their mother, same as Elrod and Kimmy. All four children will grow up believing whatever wingnut stuff their parents teach them, with only accidental exposure to any opposing facts.
But whatever’s wrong in their parents’ heads, their parents hearts are decent. I am almost in awe of what they’re doing, and trying to be optimistic, so to Cendy and Dannel I’ll say: Welcome to the family, and the country, and the future, and please don’t get measles, polio, smallpox, tetanus, or whooping cough.
9/7/2025
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