Whatever did people think of this, all those years ago? It’s a six-minute silent movie, likely the first movie a lot of the audience had ever seen, and it’s jammed beginning-to-end with special effects.

Witches fly on broomsticks, a monstrous apparition reaches out from a painting on the wall, a ghost dances, chairs disappear, an unheld knife slices sausage, coffee pours itself, the house tilts, fireballs float in the air…

If that’s not enough, the print I saw is accompanied by ferocious and very effective chamber orchestra music.

It’s one of the early works of Segundo de Chomón, and it’s a kick in the eyeballs.

Verdict: BIG YES.

♦ ♦ ♦

This is is a respectful tribute to the schlock of moviemaker William Castle, the man behind gimmicky horrors like House on Haunted Hill, 13 Ghosts, The Tingler, etc.

It’s another no-budget no-star homemade movie by Christopher Mihm, and delivers a very likable mix of corn, camp, bad acting, and laughs, with a few goose bumps. Mr Castle would approve.

I’ve seen several Mihms and hope to see them all. This one takes a while to start clicking, but once it does it’s like a playing card in the spokes.

Verdict: YES.

♦ ♦ ♦

The owners of a supposedly haunted mansion want to sell the place, but legends of ghosts have driven the asking price down, so they make a pitch to a medium and a skeptic, strangers to each other. They’ll both be well-paid if they’ll spend three days and nights there, and then publicly state that nothing supernatural or strange happened during their stay.

If that sounds fair and balanced, uh, no, it’s a horror movie. If you’ve ever seen one, you’ll know most of what’s going to happen.

The movie’s main variation is that, traditionally, there’s at least one pretty woman in peril, but the main characters here are both men. The actors are unknown to me, but one of them (Paul Flannery, as the medium who says he’s not a medium) is flamboyant and fidgety and fun to watch.

Verdict: MAYBE.

♦ ♦ ♦

This is a costume drama, full of rich white folks who dress and speak formally. I frickin’ hate costume dramas, but this one’s an exceptional exception, a quick simmer that builds to a boil.

Amidst layers of petticoats and starched manners, Miss Lily and Mr Selden (Gillian Anderson, Eric Stoltz) have been having a torrid affair. We’re never shown it, it’s barely even acknowledged, only hinted at even in the dialogue between them, and they’re convinced that no-one in their swanky circle has any inkling of their ongoing impropriety. Ah, but there are suspicions, among men who covet Miss Lily’s hand, and women who’d delight in sabotaging her good name.

Based on a novel by Edith Wharton, adapted and directed by Terence Davies, every character in the cast is either wealthy, wealth-adjacent, or a servant of the wealthy, as are we all.

If humans must have “high society,” let’s have it like this — chronicling their cruelty, and their intricate classy ways to metaphorically stab each other in all their backs. Bravo!

Verdict: YES.

♦ ♦ ♦

A flying vampire bat poofs into a vampire, who then conjures up a cauldron that bubbles up a witch, I think. There’s also a flock of ghosts, and an imp with a pitchfork.

From Georges Méliès, this 3-minute silent short is from ten years before the 1906 House of Ghosts that impressed me (above). It’s less amazing, and I couldn’t make sense of the story, but hello — it’s rockin’ for frickin’ 1896!

Verdict: YES.

♦ ♦ ♦

Some rich bastard steals a piece of land from a poor guy in the 1600s, by falsely accusing him of witchcraft. The poor guy is hung, but while the noose goes around his neck he places a curse on the rich bastard and his entire family of rich bastards.

Fast forward to the 1820s. The rich bastard’s family is no longer quite so rich, but they’re still cursed. Two descendants are Jaffrey (George Sanders; evil) and his brother Clifford (Vincent Price; good), and my oh my there’s no brotherly love here.

Sanders is his usual oily self, Price is dashing and likable, and Margaret Lindsay steals the movie as Clifford’s long-suffering lover.

Based on Nathaniel Hawthorne’s classic novel that I’ve never read, this is a soap opera made with antique soaps, but it pops with treachery and doublecross and it’s impossible to be bored.

Much is made of the false accusations of witchcraft against the poor schmo at the start of the flick, but if he can put a curse on the rich bastard’s family that lasts generations, well, maybe he was a witch!

Verdict: YES.

♦ ♦ ♦

This is an MGM cartoon short from Tex Avery, predicting what wonders science might deliver for residential use. Nice animation, but that goes without saying. Beyond that, it’s a series of very obvious jokes that didn’t do much for me.

Verdict: NO.

♦ ♦ ♦

… and out of alphabetical order …

This is a cheap, dumb, intermittently funny spoof of 1950s giant insect sci-fi movies. Instead of supersized lizards or spiders, the nemesis is supersized tomatoes.

Some people — including my brother, who made this our monthly movie for November — claim Killer Tomatoes is among the best and funniest movies ever made. It’s not. It does nothing more than you’d expect with that premise, but as promised, there are tomatoes, and they kill.

Early on, there’s a helicopter wreck that’s obviously not fake; an accident accidentally caught on film. Unlike The Twilight Zone movie, nobody got decapitated or sliced in half.

Verdict: YES, after hovering a long while at MAYBE.

11/26/2024

House of Usher (1960)
House of Women (1962)
The House of Yes (1997)
The House on Carroll Street (1988)
… plus schlock, shorts, and surprises …

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