every movie ever made, in alphabetical order
(we’re in the I’s, with random anti-alphabetical cheats)

Inauguration of the Pleasure Dome (1954)

Haven’t seen much of noted indy filmmaker Kenneth Anger’s work, but I’ve liked what I’ve seen. and I like what I’ve seen of this. What I’ve heard of it sucks, though.

It’s opera, dressed up and filmed as science fiction, with colors, makeup, costumes, claws, lighting, and acting pumped up far beyond reality. There’s no discernible story, so at 38 minutes it drags, but it’s always cool to look at.

The problem is, it’s opera, and the soprano’s voice gets extremely and piercingly painful after about five minutes. Even with the volume low, she sliced my ears until blood leaked, so I watched most of this with the sound off.

Verdict: MAYBE.

♦ ♦ ♦

Incident at Raven’s Gate (1988)
a/k/a Encounter at Raven’s Gate

This movie can’t decide whether it’s cheap science fiction or a serious drama about life on an outback Aussie farm. It doesn’t have to decide, though, because it’s pretty good as both.

There’s a farmer who doesn’t have much of a farm, but he has a beautiful wife, and a ne’er-do-well brother who’s staying with them as terms of his parole. There’s also a policeman who’s dangerously infatuated with a bartender, and a scientist who seems more like a gangster. Oh, and crop circles, and animals that die of dehydration despite having plenty of water only hours earlier.

The brothers seem like brothers, which is more than I can say about the brothers in The Indian Runner (below). When the wife makes eyes at the scruffier brother, it feels like something that happens, not something that’s scripted.

Like Roger Corman gone down under, there’s no budget to show the monster or space alien or whatever, so it’s hinted at and talked about but barely glimpsed, and never quite explained. The movie clicks along just fine, though, on atmosphere and tension and especially the camerawork.

Cinematographer Richard Michalak seems to have challenged himself to make every shot in every scene a creative use of light, color, and angle. It’s always impressive, never intrusive, and makes a pretty good movie even better.

Verdict: YES.

♦ ♦ ♦

The Indian Runner (1991)

The Indian Runner has been on my list since it first came out, decades ago, because it got rave reviews and everyone said it was great and all. But I ain’t particularly looking forward to it, and there’s always a hundred movies I’d rather see. That’s why I watch flicks in alphabetical order; it forces me to watch movies that would otherwise be postponed til I died.

And I need to be forced, because David Morse stars, and I hate him. It’s directed by Sean Penn, and sure, everyone likes Spicoli, but as a director Penn has made a long list of movies I’ve avoided because they sound highfalutin. He wrote this, too, “inspired by the song ‘Highway Patrolman’ by Bruce Springsteen,” with lyrics too cop-worshipful for me. But here we are in the I’s, and dang it, I am going to give this movie a fair chance.

Two hours, seven minutes later:

First off, my apologies to David Morse. I had him confused with David Caruso, and it’s Caruso that I frickin’ hate, but he’s not here. Morse has a similar face, presence, and shortage of talent, but he’s only half as annoying, and there are some good actors, too — Patricia Arquette, Sandy Dennis, Dennis Hopper, and Viggo Mortensen. Charles Bronson is quite effective in a supporting role as Pop.

The story is about a small-town policeman whose brother is a small-time crook. It’s nothing special and goes nowhere you don’t expect, but it’s not awful. Penn’s first film as director is competent but predictable, announcing his presence with overwrought dramatic shots, slow-motion foreshadowing when important characters are introduced, and let’s cut away and look at a bird for ten seconds, chirp chirp.

As writer, Penn decided to have Morse’s soft-spoken narration fill in the plot holes, but Morse is Morse — not much of an actor when you can see his face, and far less when it’s only his voice.

Toward the end everything gets extra arty and metaphorical. Springsteen is not on the soundtrack.

Verdict: MAYBE.

♦ ♦ ♦

Ingagi (1930)

This film was banned by the Federal Trade Commission, for its blatantly dishonest ad campaign. It pretends to be a documentary, filmed on safari in Africa, when it’s actually a collection of clips swiped from an earlier, somewhat-more-legit documentary, plus wild animals filmed at the Los Angeles Zoo, plus a guy in a gorilla suit.

Legalities aside, some of the authentic footage is spectacular — baby crocodiles birthed from eggs, swarms of swimming monkeys, leopard cubs and rhinos and buffalo on the prairie, etc. Many animals are killed, really and truly killed, with thrashing and long scenes of animal agony.

During a lion hunt, one of the hunters is mauled on camera, and the voiceover tells us he died of his injuries seven weeks later. Gotta assume that’s bullshit, because the ‘mauling’ looks more like 7th graders groping at the dance.

Of course, it’s 1930, so the protagonists and narrator are white, and the natives are casually called ‘boys’ though they’re obviously grownups. There are numerous racially-demeaning lines, but no more than in an average Tarzan film.

Ingagi grows increasingly fake toward the end, with the discovery of a previously unknown species dubbed tortadillo, which is obviously a turtle with glued-on wings. Finally, there comes the titular ingagi, a fake-looking gorilla monster, for whom the natives sacrifice a naked virgin, which garnered the film big box office.

‘Safari’ is repeatedly pronounced suh-fairy, which makes me wonder whether the word was actually pronounced that way 95 years ago, or whether the filmmakers simply got it wrong, like so much else.

The stolen half of this ‘documentary’ is jawdropping enough to recommend the film, though. I had a good time.

And when the apeman grabs the woman and runs off into the jungles of Hollywood, I’d bet your paycheck that Merian C Cooper was in a theater’s audience somewhere, lit with an idea for the far superior King Kong three years later.

Verdict: YES.

♦ ♦ ♦

The Intrigue (1916)

This is very early sci-fi, in which scientist Guy Longstreet (love the name) has invented a long-range radiation cannon, which promises to explode the enemy from up to 25 miles away. World War I is raging, but the US government isn’t interested in Guy’s weapon, so he sails for Europe, hoping to sell his newfangled death ray to some foreign country.

Which country? Guy ain’t picky and the country is never named, but judging by the hats it’s Germany. Then the sci-fi is forgotten, and The Intrigue becomes an espionage flick: the Germans want to steal the weapon, not pay for it, and other nations send operatives to seduce, swindle, and shadow Guy.

Someone named Cecil Van Auker plays Guy, and he’s not quite right, smirking and smiling too much. Broadway star Lenore Ulric plays the female lead and drives much of the story, and she’s great as a weary wartime nurse who needs some time away from the hospital, but instead gets recruited to weasel her way into Guy’s heart and laboratory.

It’s cool seeing a strong woman on screen, for which much of the credit goes to screenwriter Julia Crawford Ivers. The story moves at a good pace, with a few well-done but not-flashy effects. You probably won’t want to buy a copy for your VHS library, but you won’t fall asleep watching this.

Verdict: YES.

8/24/2025

Logo illustration by Jeff Meyer. No talking once the lights dim, and only real butter on the popcorn, not that fake yellow stuff.

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