💩 Any holiday that’s defined by a greeting card is bullshit.

Valentine’s Day. Mother’s Day. Father’s Day. These are ‘holidays’ brought to you by Hallmark, designed to sell greeting cards to people uncomfortable expressing their own emotions, and to keep restaurants so busy it’s almost impossible to get a decent meal.

How about this instead? If you have a sweetie, be sweet to him/her every day of the year. If you appreciate your mom and/or dad, cut out the expensive middleman and tell your parents that you appreciate them.

💩 It’s bullshit when idiots complain that government entities like the Post Office or Amtrak aren’t profitable.

They’re not about being profitable. They’re about providing an essential service that people need, and the government provides that service exactly BECAUSE it’s not profitable.

If it was profitable, private companies would do it. Since it’s not profitable but still needs to be done, we do it with tax expenditures, which is as it should be, except that the expenditures should be higher.

💩 It’s bullshit that you should propose with a diamond ring.

It’s pure propaganda, simply advertising, from diamond brokers. They even tell you how many months of your wages you should spend on the diamond. Bullshit.

Do you love someone? That’s amazing! Now tell them you love them. Tell them you want to spend your lives together. Then instead of wasting thousands of dollars on a glittery little pebble, spend that money on your lives together.

💩 It’s bullshit that humans need to drink cow’s milk, or any dairy products made from cow’s milk.

Sure, ice cream is delicious, but we have far too much dairy in the western diet. It isn’t healthy.

Stop and think — you’re drinking mother’s milk drawn from the boobs of a non-human species, and it’s so unsafe it needs to be pasteurized first — heat-treated, to eliminate pathogens. Yuck!

💩 It’s bullshit when the authorities claim that marijuana is a gateway drug, or in any plausible way scary.

It’s an amazingly safe medicine for pain or nausea, and far safer than alcohol for anyone who wants a brief disconnection from reality.

💩 It’s bullshit that government-backed health care — like the UK, Canada, and other civilized nations have — is worse than the fucked-up mess of the American for-profit health care system.

For-profit health care is better and quicker if you’re amazingly rich, but you’re not, so it’s a booby trap that will kill you when it has the chance.

💩 It’s bullshit that we make children recite a pledge of allegiance to a colored cloth on a stick.

You want to teach children to be loyal to their government? Give them good education when they’re kids and good government when they’re adults. They’ll be loyal.

💩 It’s bullshit that we stand and sing a national indoctrination anthem before every sporting event.

We’re Americans and we already know it. We don’t need to be pressured into singing a silly song that glorifies war and is impossible to sing anyway.

💩 It’s bullshit that most adults need to wear deodorant.

It’s all because of advertising, inducing shame for people who smell like people. The reality is, we’re humans, and humans sweat. Take a shower every other day and it’s barely noticeable, but if it is, there’s nothing embarrassing about smelling like a human.

💩 It’s bullshit that women need to buy and use douche products.

Your special happy place is a lovely and delicate ecosystem of its own, and unless you have genuine medical issues it will take care of itself without the purchase of industrially-manufactured vagina cleaners.

💩 💩 💩 There are more things that are bullshit than the few things that aren’t, so this is far from a complete list. The short version is: Do yourself a favor and don’t swallow bullshit.

10/8/2020
Republished 6/8/2023
Republished 1/10/2025

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