Oh happy day, after oh happy day

Apologies in advance. The quality of this zine might be swirling down the shitter.

My retirement came through on Friday morning, and ever since, I've been in a damned fine mood, non-stop. I am singing Broadway show tunes, and seriously thinking about buying comfortable silk slippers. I said 'Good morning!' to my flatmate Dean, and meant it. I am the happiest fat schlump you've ever seen.

But the only shtick I have, only thing I have ever written about, is crankiness and complaining. So WTF, now I'm gonna be Fred Rogers?

We're up to, I think, five prominent Democrats calling on Biden to step down from re-election. Seems scummy to me, and it's telling that none of the few Democrats I have any fondness for are among them.


#436  [archive]
JULY 8, 2024

What's the end game from such silliness? If Biden doesn't step down, they've weakened his candidacy maybe more than the debate.

And if he does step down, who's the Democratic Party going to turn to instead? Certainly not a candidate that might make voters eager to vote for him or her; Democrats hate that in a candidate. So if Biden gets pushed aside, it won't be Bernie Sanders for Prez, or AOC; they'll find someone Bidenesque, someone similarly yawn-inducing but younger.

Better to stay saddled to the horse you're saddled to, even if it's an old and unimpressive horse, than trying to switch during the race. 

This is some clever legal shit, if I'm grokking it right. And I might be grokking it wrong, so straighten me out if I'm mistaken, please.

A wingnut kills six people at a school, and gets shot dead by cops. As is the style with these things, he leaves behind journals full of hate and wingnuttery.

Now, here's where it gets weird: The killer's parents, being decent people, transfer the killer's entire estate, including the writings, to the victims' families, and they go to court asserting that any release of the wingnut writings would violate their copyright, as owners of the estate. The judge agrees, so the journals won't be published, and haters won't get the hate fuel they yearn for.

I ain't sure whether it's right in principle — gets complicated, if you think about the possible precedent. But dang me, it's clever, and if it smothers a dead madman's free speech rights, well, the world has bigger problems than that.

The Kansas Supreme Court has decided that women are people who have rights, and fetuses are clumps of cells that don't — so no, the state cannot ban abortion.

This is is absolutely the correct and common sense ruling, so I'm astounded that it comes from such a reliably Republican state. There will doubtless be death threats and impeachment hearings...

Meanwhile, another right-wingnut judge (appointed by Trump, Federalist Society, etc) has ruled that the Federal Trade Commission has no authority to federally regulate trade — in this case, by banning non-compete clauses.

Bigger picture, this is the strategy that the Republicans' Supreme Court has endorsed — freedom means no regulation at all, hail Ayn Rand — so expect to see lots more such shit. 

Brazilian Presidents are not above the law. 

In this satirical city builder, your goal is to convert walkable cities into parking lots, and use propaganda to convince everyone it's what they want.


When it comes to climate, beware the "calm down" guy. 

It's all about Biden being old?

President Handsome Joe Biden might Lose his job over the vibes of being old, and looking old. And that is ageism. 

Kinky Friedman (1944-2024) 

The year of living Constitutionally 

How the Supreme Court's Chevron decision fundamentally reshapes how our government functions 

Eben Byers 

⚰️  DEAD PEOPLE  ⚰️ 

Mirta Díaz-Balart
fled Cuba and Castro 

Ringo Hallinan
good guy 

Jon Landau
film producer, Honey I Shrunk the Kids


Cranky Old Fart is annoyed and complains and very occasionally offers a kindness, along with anything off the internet that's made me smile or snarl. All opinions fresh from my ass. Top illustration by Jeff Meyer. Click any image to enlarge. Comments & conversations invited. 

Tip 'o the hat to the AVA, Bleepity-Bleep, Breakfast at Ralf's, Chuff, Dirty Blonde Mind, It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time, Lemmy.world, Looking for My Perfect Sandwich, A Sudden Violent Jerk, Mr Souza's Happy Place, Voenix Rising, and anywhere else I've stolen links, illustrations, or inspiration.

Special thanks to Linden Arden, Becky Jo, Wynn Bruce, Joey Jo Jo emeritus, Jeff Meyer, John the Basket, Dave S, Name Withheld, and always extra special thanks to my lovely late Stephanie, who gave me 21 years and proved that the world isn't always shitty.


  1. Be careful, man. You'll blow out your flip-flop.

  2. Congrats on your retirement!
    Joe must go, time to roll the dice with someone else...Take your first $500 and buy a fancy hooker, even though you've never paid for it, try it! (Well, I have, and no more of that, too weird...) Okay, carry on Jeeves...(Eel)

    1. No hookers for me, but I do respect the career choice.

      "Joe must go, roll the dice" is comical. Joe is herpes, Trump is the guillotine — you roll the dice, I'll take the herpes.

  3. That's another problem with the western democracies: We've stopped reading Wodehouse on a regular basis. We even fail to tune in the BBC.


    1. I read an excerpt of Wodehouse once upon a train, and found it amusing, but not amusing enough to read a book or watch a show. ... Until this very moment, when a Googlage based on your mention informed me that the Brit series Jeeves and Wooster stars Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie, either of whom I would cheerfully allow to impregnate me. The show goes on my watchlist, thanks!

    2. The series started 35 years ago and ended about 32 years ago. I've seen every episode once or twice or more. So now I'm convinced that you really did live without a television set all those years. J&W and Sherlock Holmes are the most important British imports of the late 20th century.

      For a couple of decades, I hung around a used bookstore and read and talked books for hours a day. I think I'd read all the J&W by the time I was 30. It was sort of mandatory reading at the bookstore. Then the bookstore proprietors divorced and I married the one who didn't get the store. Then, because I didn't have Medicare, three back surgeries cost me my entire retirement savings and most of my books. That's my two minute autobiography. I'm left with a couple Jeeves books and Martha. Because Medicare payed for a three way cardio bypass and a couple more back surgeries, I still live in the house I bought in 1979, although the bank still owns a big chunk of it. We get by.


    3. I had a TV as recently as 2018, until my wife died. She loved Judge Judy, but she was sane in every other way.

      Glad you snagged Martha. :)

      I tried signing up for Medicare, and the website wouldn't let me. Says I have to talk to someone, but fuckall, I hate talking to people.

  4. If that's Salem, that one painting captures seven of the 19 women who died by hanging. I don't think they did the hanging all at once. Obviously, one is too many, but I suspect that of being an historically late version of the mass hysteria.


    1. The illustrations are not screened for historical accuracy, and I'm no expert nor am I pert now, but to hear the stories told about Salem now you'd think they hung and burned half a dozen women weekly.

    2. Don't get me wrong: I'm not looking for real estate through the Time Tunnel -- So much evil springs from ignorance that it's easy to overstate historical ignorance and minimize that of our own time. We've learned so much and retained so little.


    3. I aim to retain 10% of what I've learned, and usually fall short.

      Time Tunnel ran only one season but it lives on in my heart.

  5. Still sounds great but I've never seen Cohen so old. It happens to all of us but I never knew it happened to him. Still sounds great, though. Maybe better than he did ten years earlier.

    Enjoy some time away, and please come back.


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