When I was a kid, I skipped a lot of school, never did homework, rarely did my chores, didn’t eat vegetables, and constantly ducked out of whatever I was supposed to be doing. My parents and teachers and preachers and school counselors told me “You can’t run away from your problems.”

Yeah, well, says you.

I continued being the kid who wasn’t there, but me being eight years old and them being adults, I figured I’d regret it someday. I assumed that adults knew what they were talking about. It was the biggest mistake of my childhood.

The grown-ups kept tell me “You can’t run away, blah blah,” but it’s only a cliché offered by dullard adults who lacked the courage to run away from their own problems when they were young.

The truth is, you can run away from your problems, or most of them. You can’t run away from death or disease, and there’s no skipping out on climate change or an afternoon with the in-laws, but you can easily run away from ordinary day-to-day problems, and lots of bigger problems too.

My boss was an idiot and the workplace was toxic, so I quit. When the next job was no better, I quit again, and again and again.

Had a girlfriend who was kooky and clingy and always tried to make me a better man. Maybe she’s made someone else a better man, but this man walked away.

In my 20s I took my nephew in, after his parents had kicked him out, because I loved the kid. When he was actually living with me, though, I soon understood why his parents had booted him, and I booted him, too. “Running away might do you some good,” I said.

My family is weird and some of them were driving me crazy, so I moved. They’re much less likely to drive me crazy from 2,000 miles away.

Please and of course, put some effort into solving your problems — I’m not saying to run away from everything. Maybe you can’t run away from a particular problem, or you can but shouldn’t. I’ve had a few situations where I cared so damn much
that I stuck around instead of running away. Staying and helping was the right thing to do and I did the right thing, for a change. No regrets about that.

But when you come across some problem that can’t be solved, saying adios is usually a viable option. It works. You can walk away, or better yet, run.

9/4/2020
Republished 7/8/2023

itsdougholland.com
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