Let’s see what happens when your host (me) has nothing to say, and instead it’s open mike night. Step right up, speak your mind, tell a story, sing a song, whatever.
3/22/2025
Anything goes #20
19 responses to “Anything goes #20”
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Survey Dialog
He: Can I ask you a very personal question?She: Umm, how personal?
He: Oh, probably one of the most personal questions I could possibly ask.
She: What? Like “have you ever been fucked in the ass?”
He: Yeah, along those lines.
She: Well, have you?
He: what, the ass? Hey, I’m asking the questions here.
She: well, now I am too.
He: okay, so no, virgin asshole, whoopie.
She: oh, I didn’t really care, what’s your question?
He: do you really really love oral sex? I mean, is that like your favorite thing in the whole world?
She: is this a trick question?
He: well, I mean, men of course love blowjobs so I’m wondering if it’s the same concept, ie, intense pleasure is one of, if not the most remarkable thing around, right?
She: so you’re taking a survey?
He: well, I would like to get a variety of opinions.
She: and the question again?
He: do you like, I mean do you love having your pussy licked?
She: and does pussy include clit and labia and all the other parts we like to call the vulva?
He: yes! The vulva! Do you like your vulva, labia, vagina and clitoris licked kissed sucked and bitten?
She: and why do you want to know this?
He: because I’m so fascinated by the act, the act of giving someone, you for example, an orgasm. Are you ever going to answer the question?
She: are you coming on to me?
He: why do you keep answering my question with a question?
She: because I’m trying to figure out if you are doing some kind of sociological/biological survey or are just a dirty old man trying to get me to talk dirty to you and get into my pants.
He: do you like to talk dirty?
She: sometimes but not with some random guy standing there with a clipboard.
He: well, I have met you a few times, and you still haven’t answered my question.
She: maybe you should ask a better question.
He: umm, okay, well, here’s a variation: does it make a difference what relationship you have for you to be able to come? For example, if you had a fight with your boyfriend would you feel like having an orgasm?
She: oh, you mean like makeup sex?
He: no, not quite. Let’s say you were still mad at him, could you have an orgasm?
She: so we’re up to the orgasm now? I thought you just wanted to know if I liked my pussy licked, there’s a difference.
He: okay, how about this: could you decide not to have an orgasm while you are receiving oral sex? Can you literally shut down your pleasure center because of the mood you are in?
She: why would I want to do that? Could you not have an orgasm while getting oral sex?
He: ummm, unlikely…are you ever going to answer my initial question?
She: if I like my pussy licked, if I like my clit sucked, if I like oral sex?
He: yup, that’s the question.
She: that is the stupidest question I’ve ever heard! What, I suppose you want to eat my pussy?
He: ummm, well, that would definitely be a bonus, would you like that?
She: right here? Right now?
He: if you want me to.
She: hmm, well, how do I know you’re any good?
He: does that matter? Can’t it be an intimate adventure to find out?
She: well, if you’re just kind of lapping around down there it might be pretty awkward.
He: so you want a guarantee?
She: well, it might be nice to get to know you a little more. What are your intentions? What do you really want? Just to lick my pussy? There’s a whole lot more to me than just that.
He: could you just fucking answer my question?
She: yes! I love having my pussy licked, and I love having sex, and I love being in love, and I need a home, and I want a family, and I want to be safe and secure.
He: so can I put my head between your legs for about 15 minutes?
She: Right now? Aren’t you going to interview others too?
He: Well, yeah, one thing at a time.
She: Okay, have at it!
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This seems like the start of a really good video on PornHub.
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I’m back to my dialog phase, read four with someone at the open mic friday night, was fun,
also did public singing for the first time, my songs are just about 30 seconds long…
The OrgasmHe: Oh baby! That was so nice. Mmm.
She: Well maybe you could make an effort?
He: Huh? Oh honey, you know a guy just likes to turn over and relax! Of course in a
serious relationship it’s always best to pleasure the woman first.She: What?! Whats that supposed to mean?! (She turns away from him for the night.)
(Next day she’s still giving him the silent treatment.)He: Sweetie? What’d I do? It doesn’t have to be always equal in bed does it?
She: That would be nice but its not about that.
He: I mean, we’re not machines keeping score.
She: That was an ugly thing to say to me! Look, you finally weren’t stoned for once and you gave me a little attention, a little more would have been nice.
He: I told you. I was right! You’re always happier when you’ve had your orgasm.
She: Well thats not rocket science but thats not what upset me. When you said that ugly thing about a normal relationship I just turned completely off to you.
He: Hey I didn’t mean to hurt you. Why would I want to hurt you? I was just making a stupid excuse why I wanted to just go to sleep.
She: But you did hurt me. I think you’re teaching me to hate men!
He: Baby, I just meant that in a serious relationship its like a job. Everyone’s got to get their orgasms in order. I don’t want a relationship like that. I want sex to be playful, not a job.
She: You hurt me.
He: Well I’m sorry you feel that way.
She: Don’t you say that to me! Thats what your other girlfriend used to say.
He: Sorry.
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If you’re not giving, it’s not fair to be receiving. That’s in the Bible or something.
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Too long since I’ve seen it. You saying Hitchcock was involved in killing JFK?
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I think Hitch was busy in final edit on “The Birds”. If half of us call him “Hitch” do the other half have to call him “Cock”?
jtb
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Only his wife called him Cock, and from what I’ve heard every leading lady he ever worked with…
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The actor named for a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, only the turtle would be a better actor? Sure, why not.
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I guess my favorite was Lothario.
jtb
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Here’s another Evan Mercer reading of a Dashiell Hammett short story (about two hours). It’s called The Girl with the Silver Eyes. (He met the girl in a previous short story). As I recall, there are a few lip synch problems, but it’s really Evan’s voice and not a digital robot. Pretty good story too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQjqOZll2uY
John
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I like this guy. Do we know anything about him? I’m imagining he’s retired and this is his hobby, dressing stylish and reading Hammett…
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He’s also a musician. I’ve seen him playing the guitar, mandolin, and other stringed instruments — he plays very well. A wonderful San Francisco export: musician and storyteller.
jtb
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You’ve seen this on YouTube, or do you hang out with him twice monthly?
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I’ve seen several musical performances on video on the Web (pretty sure it was on YouTube). He is a competent amateur on several instruments.
jtb
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Like me with cunnilingus, but YouTube took those videos down.
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I like the new name and iconography of the site. I think it’s more in harmony with the contents. It’s simple and complicated — shallow and deep — funny and serious.
John
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Mucho grazio. Two minutes thought went into the name, followed by five minutes of image manipulation, then ten minutes or frustration finding my way through WordPress software.
There’s a ‘why’ to the switch, which I might end up telling, eventually.
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