every movie ever made, in alphabetical order
(we’re in the I’s, with some anti-alphabetical cheats)

Inside Game (2019)

Some Jersey guy is getting married, and celebrates at his bachelor party by banging some Jersey dame on the toilet. That’s hilarious to the groom and his several perpetual-jerk buddies, all so stereotypically New Jersey that with the exception of big bald Will Sasso, it’s hard to tell one from another.

One of the Jersey buddies is an NBA referee, and this flick is based on the gambling scandal that rocked pro basketball in 2006, and was then quickly forgotten.

The facts of the matter — a referee shading the outcome of games — could make for a dynamite movie, but this ain’t it. The New Jersey overdose never lets up, boring gangster scenes dominate everything, and the basketball moments add up to about one minute, and even that minute’s not believable.

Verdict: NO.

♦ ♦ ♦

Inside Man (2006)

This is a well-made thriller with a complicated plot that’s astronomically improbable if you think about it, but you’ll be having too good a time to think about it. Or at least, I did.

A bunch of angry people dressed like ICE agents burst into a bank, the beginning of a heist that becomes a hostage situation, followed by a whole lot of detours and side moments that have next-to-nothing to do with the plot, but still hold your interest. Or at least, it held mine.

Denzel Washington, Clive Owen, Jodie Foster, Christopher Plummer, Willem Dafoe, and Chiwetel Ejiofor are featured. It’s by Spike Lee, so the cops are not as heroic as ordinary movie cops. There’s cruelty, racial profiling, victims treated like criminals, cops laughing at civilians’ in distress, etc. Feels very real, even if the plot doesn’t.

It’s a drama that never makes sense but also never lets up.

Verdict: YES.

♦ ♦ ♦

The Insider (1999)

This is based on the true story of Jeffrey Wigand, a tobacco industry scientist who violated his ex-employer’s confidentiality agreement by going on 60 Minutes, to blow the whistle on crimes so out-in-the-open you’d think a whistle would be superfluous. Wait, tobacco is toxic? Nicotine is a drug? Holy moly!

For speaking the world’s most obvious truth on camera, Wigand got death threats and spent years in court, so all snark aside, serious kudos to the man.

The movie’s pretty good too, though the drama is heightened with way too much opera music, and the script is almost a blow-job for former 60 Minutes producer Lowell Bergman (overplayed by Al Pacino). It also offers so much near-ceaseless praise for Mike Wallace (Christopher Plummer again), 60 Minutes, and CBS News, you’d think 48 minutes plus commercials every Sunday night is the only journalism in America.

To clear my head after this brainwashing, let me state clearly that 60 Minutes has never been as good as its reputation. For every worthwhile investigative work the show does, they do half a dozen celebrity interviews and segments worrymongering about societal trends. Harrumph!

Russell Crowe stars as Wigand, and I never got past his silly blond wig. Co-stars Lindsay Crouse, Michael Gambon, Gina Gershon, Philip Baker Hall, Bruce McGill, Stephen Tobolowsky, Rip Torn, and Wings Hauser. It’s by Michael Mann, who’s done much better with such flicks as Heat and Manhunter.

Verdict: YES.

♦ ♦ ♦

Insidious (2010)

Josh and Renai are a happily married couple with three kids, and the common (for the movies) problem that their house is haunted. Proving themselves smarter than 90% of horror-movie-homeowners, they move to a different house, but the haunting follows them there.

Modern-era high-tech burglar alarms going off, instead of chains being dragged in the attic. The paranormal investigators and their kooky tech are played for laughs, and deliver a few. Rose Byrne stars, and she’s quite good, but the movie’s only so-so.

Like many horror movies short on horror, it relies far too much on jump cuts, sudden sound effects, and screeching violins. The spiritual mumbo-jumbo is piffle, but that’s OK; suspension of disbelief is a requirement for the genre.

The mistake here is asking me to suspend disbelief in non-supernatural stuff: Josh and Renai are together against the haunting or whatever, until suddenly Josh stops being there, and says he has to work late night after night, grading papers at the school where he teaches. That’s the dumbest excuse — why can’t he grade papers at home, and why doesn’t Renai call him on such obvious horsepoop? It’s hard to respect a movie with such ginormous plot holes.

Verdict: MAYBE.

♦ ♦ ♦

Minding the Gap (2018)

Filmmaker Bing Liu grew up skateboarding in Rockford, IL, and still shreds. He made this documentary about two of his long-time friends, Keire, who has worries and issues that always fade away when he skates, and Zach, who’s getting a little old for this, and has a wife and baby.

Since these three guys have known each other for so long, and Liu was always filming, there’s footage from when they were much younger than they are “now” (2018). Both the skating and the filming of the skating are terrific, and Liu marvelously avoids quick cuts, so you can actually see the lyrical movements. There’s also no hesitation between these guys to talk about non-skating issues, like their abusive home lives and the looming threats of adulthood and responsibilities and all that crap.

I saw Minding the Gap movie several years ago, while I was still living in Madison WI, and even remember writing a review, but I also remember losing a batch of reviews in a computer glitch, so this must’ve been one of them. I absolutely did not mind watching it again, though.

Incidentally, some of the scenery in Rockford was familiar to me. My wife & I used to drive south from Wisconsin to buy legal weed there, and Liu captures the city well. But mostly, he captures Keire and Zach, and himself.

Friendship is where you find it, and these three found it, which is a more important takeaway than anything about skateboarding.

Verdict: YES.

9/21/2025

Logo illustration by Jeff Meyer. No talking once the lights dim, and only real butter on the popcorn, not that fake yellow stuff.

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