Katrina will be out of town for a few days, and I’ll be Mom-sitting at their house, beginning tomorrow. They don’t have the internet, which means this site won’t be updated until Wednesday.
Sorry about the next three days of silence, but being freed of the daily five-hour, three-bus round-trip, riding to Mom’s house and then riding back, might leave me time and energy enough to write. I’m going to bring my laptop, park it on Mom & Katrina’s dining room table, and hope to have a few pages ready to post when I return home and to the internet.
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Katrina has a smart TV, which Mom is unable to turn on, not because of her health issues, but because it’s so damned complicated. Turning it on requires pressing eleven buttons on two remotes, each button pressed in exactly the right order, traversing a maze of “smart” ads and “smart” options for services my mom and sister have never subscribed to.
A couple of years back, Katrina showed me how to turn the TV on, but I’ve never successfully done it solo. It’s too baffling, plus there’s a conflict of interest: I prefer it off.
Mom, though, likes to watch TV, and I want her to be happy while I’m taking care of her, so I asked Katrina to re-brief me on the 11-button process. This time I took notes, and may have it down. At least, I know the final button I’m looking for — HDMI 3. If I can navigate past all the “smart” ads and find HDMI 3, Mom can watch TV.
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While Katrina was teaching me this, the smart TV smartly interrupted, placing this message over the screen:
“Your daily update is now beginning. In order to bring you the best experience possible, we’ll be updating all of your TV boxes. This will interrupt viewing but should take less than five minutes to complete.”
“Oh, this,” Katrina said with a sigh. “I hate it when it does this.” Then we waited five minutes for all of Katrina & Mom’s “TV boxes” to update.
“What the hell is a TV box?” I asked Katrina. She doesn’t know. She also doesn’t know what’s being updating once daily, or how these updates bring her “the best experience possible.”
My guess is that once daily, their TV sends all the latest info on what shows Katrina and Mom have watched to some database, where the info is sold, to better target them with more ads.
I’m so old, I remember when TVs had a physical ON/OFF button, which immediately turned the TV on or off. Ads weren’t targeted. There was no database. Nothing interrupted viewing for five minutes daily.
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Speaking of the hell of technology, take my phone, please. All I want from it is the ability to send and receive text messages. If that function was available without a phone, I would own a text-messaging machine instead.
I rarely use the phone to make or receive calls, and strive for never. My ringer is off 24/365, unless someone I love a lot has told me, in advance, that they need to get hold of me.
Over my 20 or so years carrying cell phones, I’ve purchased a new one three times, always because the service provider was discontinuing support for my antique device. Each time, after unwrapping the new phone, the first thing to do is un-install whatever apps are pre-installed, mute all functions that make noise, turn off internet access and tracking, etc. The name’s Ludd. Ned Ludd.
The number of times I’ve used, needed, or even wished for a flashlight on my phone is zero, but somehow in sending a text and then slipping the phone into my backpack, I accidentally pushed whatever button lights the flashlight. It’s very bright. How the fuck do I turn it off?
6/7/2026
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