Thursday, May 18, 2023
“Hi, Doug.” Well, that’s my name and it’s nice to say hello as we’re passing in the hallway, but the only people I sorta know at Haugen & Dahl are my immediate co-workers, and my boss, and my boss’s boss. When any of them say “Hi, Doug,” it makes sense.There are, however, four people at the company — out of about 150 — who say “Hi, Doug” when we pass in the hall, but I simply don’t know who they are. They’re not people I met one morning a month ago, whose names I’ve forgotten. They’re people I have never met, period. Yet they say to me, “Hi, Doug.”At some point they’ve presumably asked, who’s that new guy, the fat, ugly, gray-bearded man in rumpled clothes? That’s Doug, the new hire, someone answered, and OK, I’m somewhat distinctive in appearance.
Still, it’s weird when people I’ve never met greet me by name. The rules of ordinary human behavior have always been vague to me, but it feels like a violation. “Hi,” I say back, and What the fuck?, I say to myself.
I wrote that a month ago, but it’s the only semi-readable semi-story that’s ready for today. And it’s outdated, since I’ve actually become sorta cordial with two of the “Hi, Doug” people.
God, I miss the luxury of unemployment and all that recliner time.And I’ve lost most of the last couple of days to a growing fog of frustration with my mother, a story I’m hoping to write this weekend.Meanwhile, let there be links…
News you need,
whether you know it or not• Judge: Racism permeates U.S. legal system — and Spokane case proves it • Austin ends parking minimums • Supreme Court rules Andy Warhol’s Prince art is copyright infringement • Los Angeles transportation department recommends enforcement of traffic laws by unarmed civilians instead of police • A US company is trying to trademark the shape of its lettuce – but this is just the tip of the iceberg • Missouri high-schooler suspended for recording teacher using racial slur • Company giving away TVs with second screen that shows constant ads
• The world’s largest lakes are losing 5.7 trillion gallons of water a year to climate change, study finds • Climate change linked to — we shit you not — increased pirate attacks • Graphic: Carbon dioxide hits new high • UN warns Earth’s temperature likely to soar to record levels due to global warming and El Niño: ‘Uncharted territory’
• “Show me your boobs” cop gets 15 days • As trial over illegal traffic stops begins, Highway Patrol admits it doesn’t track rights violations by troopers • NYPD officers charged in champagne theft at Electric Zoo Festival • Former LAPD officer charged with sexually assaulting multiple boys
• DeSantis signs five more bills hating on trans rights in Florida • Republicans hold secretive anti-trans dinner in San Francisco • Montana is paying a climate denier to give expert testimony in upcoming trial • Haley calls for subway strangler’s pardon • Florida rejects Modern Genocides and History of the Holocaust textbooks • Religious Right quietly drops pretense that it’s about anything but misogyny • Pastor who prophesied that Trump won in 2020 insists that Trump is President today • Florida teacher says she is under investigation after showing 5th grade class Disney movie with gay character • Josh Hawley explains how the Bible can solve our country’s masculinity crisis
Mystery links
There’s no knowing where you’re going• Click • Click • Click •
• Click • Click •
My browser history
without the porn• Paul Linebarger wrote science fiction as Cordwainer Smith. His multiple selves did not stop there. • Life’s been good to Joe Walsh • Gay Bob, the first gay doll, came with a penis
♫♬ It don’t mean a thing ♫
if it don’t have that swing• Atlantis — Donovan • Electric Worm — Beastie Boys • Land of Do What You’re Told — Chumbawamba • Lawnmower — Sparks • Superman — John Williams
Eventually, everyone
leaves the building• Helmut Berger • Tom Hornbein • Futoshi Nakanishi • Ralph Lee • Don Sebesky • Eric Shoutin’ Sheridan
5/18/2023
Cranky Old Fart is annoyed and complains and very occasionally offers a
kindness, along with anything off the internet that’s made me smile or
snarl. All opinions fresh from my ass. Top illustration by Jeff Meyer. Click any image to enlarge. Comments & conversations invited.
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