For Black Sheets, I’m reviewing a book of S/M fiction, and why was I was selected for the task? For laughs, I assume, because I don’t care for either the S or the M. I’m so vanilla I avoid French vanilla — it’s too wild.

I couldn’t tell you the difference between B/D and S/M. Haven’t had even ordinary sex with anyone but myself in almost a year, and if or when I ever do get lucky, no whips or chains or even leather will be involved. No pain or humiliation, thanks, but if giving or taking orders or slapping someone or being slapped around gets you off, by golly go for it, long as it’s consensual.

And now I’ve read a book on the subject. My main response is, Some people do that, but I knew that. I just don’t much care that people do that.

Which is really all I have to say about it, but I’m supposed to write a review of this collection of erotic master-and-slave short stories, none of which did anything erotic for me. It’s gonna be a challenge. I lack a frame of reference, for comparing the stories to reality, or to other S/M or B/D fact or fiction.

♦ ♦ ♦ 

After two hours of scratching and then banging my head, trying to find the words, I found some. The review is written, and I only used the word “Ouch” twice.

I’d certainly write a bad review of my review. It reads like what it is: a writer writing about something he doesn’t know anything about.

I’ve also been assigned to read and review a second book for Black Sheets, on a topic that should be more fun reading, and easier to write about. It’s all about masturbation techniques, something where I have some interest, even expertise, and I’m eager to learn more.

♦ ♦ ♦

Other than writing that book review and then writing about writing that book review, all I did today was sell fish, and nothing happened that’s worth writing about.

artwork by Dronebogus (CC)

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