Just one question

According to Reuters, these are the final results from the 2020 US Presidential election: Joe Biden received 81,283,786 votes (51.3%), and Donald Trump received 74,222,552 votes (46.8%).

From this I conclude that many millions of Americans — 46.8% of us — are simply awful people. 

It isn't even about politics, it's about human decency. A nation's leader should act like an adult, not insult everyone who disagrees with him on anything, and not launch daily Twitter wars. The President of the United States shouldn't lie and lash out, every time he opens his yap. 46.8% of Americans disagree with me about that.

During a worldwide pandemic, it's wise to wear a mask and get a vaccine. This is inarguable reality, but 74-million Americans don't live in reality.

Climate change is an enormous and growing problem, wreaking havoc, costing lives, and getting worse. Trump says it isn't, and his believers believe him.

There's almost nothing more fundamental to democracy than elections and the peaceful transition of power, but Trump says the election was stolen, and his believers believe him and stormed the capitol. There is, please note, no evidence of any noteworthy vote-counting irregularities, unless shouting without evidence now constitutes evidence.

I am out of patience with people who believe the moist, smelly horsepoop of Donald Trump and his followers and imitators. Therefore, I've enacted a new personal policy, which went into effect yesterday:

I am boycotting Trump-supporters. 

In any social interaction with anyone, once we're past "Good morning" or "Good afternoon," my next sentence is "Did you vote for Trump?" If the answer is no, our conversation can continue. Perhaps we can be pals. If the answer is yes, my answer is adios.

The first test of this strategy was my afternoon walk yesterday. As I was leaving the apartment building, two of my neighbors were having a conversation on the porch, and we all said hello as I passed.

"Can't believe how nice out it is today," said one of my neighbors.

"And it's November in Wisconsin!" said the other. "We're not going to see weather this warm for the next few months, that's for sure."

"Did either of you vote for Trump?" I asked.

They looked at each other and burst into laughter. "Of course not!" So we chatted for a few minutes, but if they'd said they had, I would've walked away in silence.

Later, my nerves wracked by Trump's first few lawsuits attempting to stop the counting of votes, I decided that I deserved some ice cream. While I was in the store choosing between strawberry and caramel (I bought both!), an older and shorter woman asked me to hand her some Popsicles from the freezer's top shelf.

"I can't quite reach it," she said.

"Did you vote for Trump?" I asked.

"Well, I don't think I have to tell a stranger who I voted for," she said, so I walked away.

Bearing in mind that the Popsicle incident is entirely made up, I intend to ask this question of everyone, and whenever the answer is '"Yes" my reply and my silence will be abrupt and immediate.

This won't cost me any friends, because none of my friends are nincompoops. It might cause some family drama, but that's a good thing. The family members who like Trump are already on my nerves.

Yesterday my sister emailed me, attaching a picture of her granddaughter, who's the certified cutest kindergartner in the world. I replied, "Did you vote for Trump?" I haven't yet heard back from her.

In most retail transactions I don't have anything to say beyond "Howdy" and Thanks", but if an actual conversation begins, I'll immediately ask "Did you vote for Trump in 2020?"

Work-related conversation shouldn't be a problem, but if the topic wanders away from business, my next line will be: "Did you vote for Trump in 2020?"

Because sir or ma'am, I am done with dumbass Americans. I am seriously almost serious about this new personal rule. Y'all are free to be as stupid, cruel, deluded, and un-American as you want, and I am free to have nothing to do with you.

Should I also shun people who voted for Trump in 2016? Nah, I'm a generous soul. I believe in second chances. For some people in 2016, especially people who weren't paying much attention, Trump might have seemed like an unknown, or even a successful businessman. If you voted for Trump in 2016, I can forgive it — if you've learned from your mistake.

Trump is not an unknown any longer, though. In 2020, the only possible explanation for voting for Trump is that you're an idiot or asshole.

Did you vote for Trump in 2020? If so, then goodbye.

updated, 3/15/2021


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  1. Replies
    1. Why, thanks. I'm surprised that it's gotten me so little angry blowback — only one obnoxious email.


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