No worries, I tell myself.

Procrastination is my only achievement in life, where "one of these days" I'll send a short story to The New Yorker, and "one of these days" I'll take out the trash, which is currently stacked astoundingly high. For weeks, I've been putting off writing this page. 

Except for a few brief jobs I've quit one after the other, I've been out of work for more than two years. In that time I've moved to Seattle, watched hundreds of movies from my recliner, and eaten way too much ice cream. Haven't done much job-hunting, though. Looking for work is what a responsible adult would've done, which is why I mostly haven't.

At my age a man shouldn't have to work, but I'd work and wouldn't complain much, if I could find a job that's not reprehensible. What I won't do is work that troubles my conscience, work for fragrantly incompetent bosses, or work for a boss who can't tell one old white guy from another. A guy's gotta have some standards.

Or, maybe standards are the problem. Without standards, I'd have a job. Or three.

A few times each week, I check job listings. Three applications are currently pending, and one of them is a job I might not hate. I'm still signed up as a temp, but the agency has stopped calling. There are occasional inquiries from my Craigslist work-wanted ad, but every single nibble has been an attempted scam.

I apply for jobs I'm qualified for, but hear nothing back. I go to an interview, pretty much ace it, but nobody calls. This is new to me — never had trouble finding a job when I need one, until now, and I haven't become dumber or uglier; what's changed is that I've gotten old. My suspicion is, employers look at my application, see that I'm in my late 60s, and that's that.

What would a responsible adult do? Work harder at finding work, I suppose. File more applications. Knock on doors. Make follow-up calls. Be younger.

What am I doing? Watching movies from my recliner. 

Meanwhile, if I'm very, very frugal there's money in the bank to pay the rent for May. After that I'll be broke, and I'm procrastinating the part where I worry about it.



  1. Broke? That's a joke: Just apply for social security and the money will come rolling in within weeks. By the way, get your last story into the ava this month, send in your best, right? Get it in my April 28th for the last issue coming out May 1. --eel

    1. I'm in a lull of submissions for the AVA, and anyway, my presence would only lessen the last issue on paper. Glad it's continuing online, and I'll subscribe until I'm dead, but it's not the same.

      I can't do Social Security, or at least won't until the situation is more desperate.


🚨🚨 Click here if you have problems posting a comment. 🚨🚨