I used to work my ass off, every day. If you’d asked me to explain it, I would’ve given you a speech Republicans would love, all about the dignity of giving the job your best effort, and the power of pride in work done well, and all that falderol. I believed it, too. I did the very best I could do on the job, every day.

It took a long time before I noticed that nobody noticed. My performance reviews and raises were the same as the guy who snuck out to smoke a cigarette every couple of hours, came in twenty minutes late and left half an hour early. Actually, if that lazy co-worker played politics and kissed the right butts, he’d get a better review and a bigger raise than me.

So I recalculated, and now I’m usually on time and work until I’m supposed to, but only because it’s easy to get caught. I make up for it by taking extra breaks during the day, surfing the net at my desk, emailing my friends, etc. I don’t smoke, but I’m happy to step outside several times daily just for a breath of fresh air.

I proudly do the minimum work necessary so my job isn’t in jeopardy, and my performance reviews and raises haven’t been impacted at all.

If you’re giving your employer your best effort, 100% on a regular basis — unless your employer is you — maybe you’re ripping yourself off. I’d estimate that I’m giving my company a solid 25 hours a week, but getting paid for 40, and I’m still rated “fully satisfactory.” That’s fully satisfactory to me.

8/12/2020

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