“Good morning, Darla.”

Living so close to work means there’s almost no commute time. I take the elevator down from my room at the rez hotel, walk half a block and cross the street, walk another half-block, and take the elevator up to my office above the store. Sure beats idling in traffic.

As I type this, underwear and socks are all I’m wearing, and I’m supposed to be at my desk in 14 minutes. Haven’t made my PBJ sandwiches yet, but even if the elevators are running slow, I’ll be at work a few minutes early.

♦ ♦ ♦

My boss Darla was taken aback when I said, “Good morning, Darla,” since Darla is not her name. What I’ve written about work would get me fired, and what I’ve written about family could be uncomfortable if they ever see it and I ever see them, so everyone gets new names when they’re mentioned in the zine. And sometimes, like this morning, it’s more than my feeble mind can keep track of. 

Reading through the September issue, I noticed that Kallie was both Kallie and Kellie, which I've now corrected. Her actual name is something else entirely.

♦ ♦ ♦

I’ve been employed by this company for one year today. Prior to that, I did the same work at the same desk, but I was a temp. Temps don’t get vacation, but workers do, and I've earned one week’s vacation, with pay, long as I take it by the end of the year.

There’s only one place I can afford to go on vacation, and that’s the movies, so it doesn’t matter at all what week I’m off work. Just being off work will be vacation enough. I told Darla to pick a week, any week. 

Apparently, that's not the way people schedule their vacations. She was befuddled, but I insisted I didn’t care which week I had off, so she gave me November 28 - December 2. Can’t wait to check the theater calendars and see what movies I’ll be seeing.

♦ ♦ ♦

Society news: Beatrice e-mailed that she has no social life, so she’s available for our long-promised “beer or two” almost any night after work. I replied that I have no social life either, so now we both have a social life: Beers on Thursday.

Also, I gave Kallie the asking price for a small supply of green. She says she’ll buy it over the weekend, and have it for me Monday next.

Actually, scoring weed has been a problem since I moved to San Francisco. Drugs is winning the War on Drugs, obviously, but you have to know someone to get a supply, and it’s hard to know someone when you don’t know anyone.

From Pathetic Life #5
Tuesday, October 18, 1994

This is an entry retyped from an on-paper zine I wrote many years ago, called Pathetic Life. The opinions stated were my opinions then, but might not be my opinions now. Also, I said and did some disgusting things, so parental guidance is advised.

Pathetic Life 

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  1. >Reading through the September issue, I noticed that Kallie was both Kallie and Kellie, which I've now corrected. Her actual name is something else entirely.

    I've been reading your writing for half my life. I've always known that you use fake names, and keep them close to the reality (I think?). I'm gonna guess "Kallie" is... simple, like "Kathy."

  2. An astute observation, Corporal Cheesepurse.


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