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Don't dis the workers.

Leftovers & Links #55 

On the list of things I hate, taking a dump anywhere but home is in the top 100. Maybe the top 50, depending on the place and the poop. When I’m dead, it’s absolutely OK to say, “At least he’ll never again have to sit on someone else’s toilet.”

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Man pranks conservative radio show
by naming a ton of punk bands

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At the Burger King drive-through, I was third in line. The car in front of mine had no rear plates, and no temporary plates, just an empty space where the license plate is supposed to be mounted. The car behind mine was a police car. 

Then I was second in line, and I watched and waited as the passenger in the plateless car tossed two empty beer cans onto the parking lot, while the driver shouted his order into the microphone when an ordinary volume would suffice, and added, "don't fuck it up." The BK employee said, “Thank you, please pull forward,” and the idiots' car rolled toward the drive-thru window.

There was no raised curb preventing it, so instead of placing my order I pulled away, making the cop car next in line. I looped around to the back of the line again, and watched as the cops placed their order, then drove ahead, directly behind the car with no license plates.

Predictably — and indeed it was my intent — the cops soon flipped on their woo-woo noisemaker and pulled over the unlicensed vehicle, there in the parking lot. Then it got more dramatic than I'd intended, as the cops drew their guns and everybody shouted for thirty seconds or so. By the time I had my Whoppers and onion rings, the driver and passenger were in handcuffs, in the back of the patrol car.

I'm glad nobody got killed, which is always a risk when police are involved. I've second-guessed myself, a little, for basically ‘calling the cops’ by bailing out of the drive-through line, knowing I'd be giving the oinkers a clear view of the vehicle in front of them.

I don't quite regret it, though. And it wasn’t about the missing license plate — I don’t give a damn about license plates. Wasn’t about the presumably drunk driving, or littering on the parking lot. I did it because that fucker disrespected the staff at Burger King.

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For only a few homoerotic moments between Kirk and Spock, author Della van Hise lost her gig writing Star Trek novels.

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I’m a sucker for old musicals and old music, so let’s dance.

On the dancers’ biography page,  it says “Bianca and Nils are members of the Swedish national team in Boogie Woogie and Lindy Hop.” I say, the USA has an army, navy, air force, and marines, all dedicated to killing people and making the world a worse place. Why can’t we have a national dance team, to celebrate life and dance and make things better?

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Eugene, Oregon is the only city I know that was named for its founder’s first name, not his last name.  

It was Eugene Skinner, if you were wondering.

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OK, damn it. I’ve heard of the show for years, but never seen Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives, mostly because I don’t have cable or even a TV. Another thing keeping me away, though, is that I have seen another Guy Fieri show, Guy's Grocery Games, and the man’s relentless on-screen optimism and cheerfulness make me want to heave. 

I do, however, love diners, drive-ins, and dives, so finally, this article — basically a love letter to the show — has convinced me to give it a watch. Am I gonna regret this?

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Bob & Bob, International Headquarters.

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At a local, ordinary theater, a ticket to an evening screening of an ordinary movie costs $16.62. That's ordinary.

The most I’ve ever paid to see a movie is still seven bucks, and like Wilt Chamberlain's 100-point game, it’s a record that will never be broken. 

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Dig, a history podcast: In which several degreed women do a deep dig through something from history every two weeks. No ads, no jokes, no banter, no annoyingly long introductions or stupid theme song, and minimal begging for donations — mostly it’s just the facts, ma’am.

Recent eps I’ve enjoyed included the history of Aunt Jemima, and the history of entrapment and misconduct by police. Even some episodes that seemed likely to be boring, based on the descriptions, weren't boring.

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Remember when we were young and innocent, or at least young? Before the wrinkles. When ‘better’ was possible. When you could list the things you were worried about on an index card. When you thought dreams could come true. When you knew you’d have everything under control in a few years, because by then you’d be an adult, and adults had their shit together, right? So we thought, and so it goes.

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 Mystery links  — Like life itself, there’s no knowing where you’re going:

—①—
     —②—
          —③—

 Sing along with Douggles:
"Somewhere"
music by Leonard Bernstein
lyrics by Stephen Soundheim
performed by Tom Waits


Sincere tip 'o the hat:
BoingBoing

Captain Hampockets
Follow Me Here
Hyperallergic
LiarTownUSA
Messy Nessy Chick
National Zero
Ran Prieur
Vintage Everyday

Voenix Rising

EXTRA SPECIAL THANKS:
Becky Jo
Name Withheld
Dave S.

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17 comments:

  1. Thanks for Stephen Sondheim, RIP; thanks for Leonard Bernstein; thanks especially for choosing the Tom Waits rendition.

    John

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agreed. That's from, IIRC, the transition period between Tom's early, folkier period and his "weird" music. I kinda think the hard divide is between "Heartattack and Vine" and "Swordfishtrombones." I love both eras, though.

      Delete
  2. You might get shit for the Burger King cop thing. But I'm also weirdly half "ACAB," and half, "Oh, that fucker, I wish a cop saw that." Just to fuck up his day. Throwing beer cans out the window at the drive thru and being a dick to the underpaid shitworker is worth it.

    >Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives

    It's a good show. I haven't seen it in a decade, or at least since I left San Francisco. No idea if new episodes are being made. Guy Fieri oozes assholishness, but I have heard reports that he's a good guy.

    I did a search for Big Beautiful Widows 2. Not for viewing, but just because I wasn't sure it was real. I don't THINK it's real. But there are some sick fucks out there that get off on other peoples' emotional pain, so I wouldn't be surprised if something like that exists.

    >The most I’ve ever paid to see a movie is still seven bucks,

    I think you're exaggerating, but I can't prove it. I remember we saw "The Meg" together in 'Sconsin, and I said, out loud, "Are you fucking kidding me?" when the kid told me six bucks for a soda. But I must admit, I don't remember the ticket price. I have paid as much as ten, I think. Doubtful that it was more, as I haven't been to a non-matinee in a decade.

    Dig sounds interesting, I'm going to check it out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cops — You gotta be quite an asshole before I'd involve the police, and quite an asshole he was.

      Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives — I've watched three episodes now, and it's enjoyable for late night falling asleep.

      The Big Beautiful Widows porn franchise does not exist. See the URL on the side. It's from the imagination of Sean Tejaratchi at liartownusa.com.

      We went to a discount matinee Meg, and I think it was seven bucks. I might be mistaken, but if I ever paid more than $7 for a movie worth less, it was The Meg.

      Delete
    2. >Sean Tejaratchi

      Ah, the Crap Hound guy!

      Delete
    3. Yessir. His current project, liartownusa.com, is higher quality but lower volume. I loves it.

      Delete
  3. Large cave dwelling tribe of red haired canibals, when I say large I mean at least 8ft tall...

    Native American tales describe them "more dangerous than the Comanche" and Comanche literally translates too "Enemy" Yeah...and the very strange thing here is in the 1800s people documented finding these skeletons and sent them to the Smithsonian where they promptly disappeared.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In the northwest where I'm sorta from, lots of people believe in Big Foot. Is that related to this?

      Delete
    2. Nope not bigfoot. Real tribe of giant red haired cave dwelling cannibals.

      I learned about this a couple weeks ago and have been obsessed with researching it ever since. Terrifying, but they must not have been intelligent or they would still exist, least one would think.

      Delete
    3. A lot of people exist right now without being intelligent.

      When was this? What were they called? Something better than just 'redheaded cannibals'?

      Delete
    4. Wait a minute. A tribe of unintelligent, cave-dwelling, red-headed, eight-foot-tall cannibals that vanish when they get to a museum? I think you've just located the Texas Legislature's Republican Caucus.

      John

      Delete
  4. Google Lovelock Cave Nevada
    Red Haired Giants of Lovelock Cave

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nevada, eh ... I was hoping eight-foot tall redheaded cannibals within easy driving or bus distance.

      Delete
    2. Well there are 1000's of miles of unexplored caves under wisconsin

      there are also reports in the appalacian mountains.

      Delete
    3. I like to think there's some undiscovered people in the caves, avoiding us on purpose ...

      Delete

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