Invalid baptisms

I am accustomed to reports of police misconduct, almost numb to them, but here's one that's seems especially and intentionally cruel: 


San Francisco police linked a woman to a crime using DNA from her rape exam, D.A. Boudin says 

After being raped, many women are already hesitant to go to the police, because the process is cold, cops are often skeptical, convictions are unlikely, and it's a long process even getting to the courtroom.

If she goes to the police, she'll be subjected to evidence-collection that's very intrusive — her skin, mouth, genitalia, and anus will be swabbed for biological evidence, looking for the perp's saliva, blood, semen, skin cells, hair, etc. They'll scrape under her fingernails, comb through her hair, and microscope her clothes to collect what's called a 'rape kit', in hopes of identifying the rapist.

Obviously, unavoidably, they're also collecting the DNA and bodily fluids of the victim.

Using this evidence *against the victim*, though? The effect of that, and probably the intent of that, is to make women even more hesitant to go to the police after being raped. 

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Where is the Justice Department on the Trump obstruction offenses? 

Some folks fantasize that the Justice Department is feverishly investigating Donald Trump's many crimes, but DoJ needs to keep it under wraps because that's what shrewd detectives do.

Well, that would be nice, but what's really happening, one suspects, is that Attorney General Merrick Garland is doing diddlysquat.

Yesterday, the Statute of Limitations passed, and Trump got away with what looks like a crime committed on Feb. 14, 2017. The clock continues ticking, and the next major and well-known crimes of the Trump administration will vanish later this month.

Click the chart below, if you'd like to follow the hopes of justice dwindling to nothingness over the next few years.

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US Catholic priest resigns after performing thousands of invalid baptisms over 20 years 

Curious, I clicked this article to learn how any baptism could be any more "invalid" than any other baptism. Turns out the priest changed a word of the liturgy — said "we" instead of "I" — and because of this, the church says thousands of baptisms are null and void.

Your baptism is being recalled. You'll need to be re-baptized. Perhaps you can get a loaner while your baptism is in the shop.

The basics, for any heathens among us: Baptism is a Christian ritual, wherein a priest sprinkles water or dunks someone, usually a child, to consecrate the soul as belonging to the church or protected by God. Some, many, or most Christians believe that if you die with your soul un-baptized, you're condemned to burn in Hell for all eternity. I am not shitting you.

Priests rarely resign even after raping a hundred children — but this priest is out of work, because of a misspoken chant in a nonsensical ritual that accomplishes nothing anyway.

How do such religiously-obsessed people even clip their own toenails?

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Just as a thought experiment, what d'ya suppose would happen if Black Lives Matter protesters blockaded a key international bridge for several days? Or honked horns and clogged traffic for weeks? 

We all know what would happen — there'd be dead BLM protesters, quickly. When the 'protesters' are white and right-wing, though, law enforcement becomes a much kinder and slower concept.

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Turkey changes its official name to Türkiye 

Smart move, seriously. 

Kazakhstan now becomes the western world's most joked about nation.

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Let's double everyone's income tax rates, immediately — but with a 30% discount if your COVID vaccinations are current, and another 30% discount if you voted in every election in the preceding twelve months.

Good citizens would pay lower taxes than before, and assholes and idiots would pay more. Assholes and idiots cost all of us more, cost many Americans their lives, so making them pay more seems fair.

This is, of course, in addition to exponentially jacking up tax rates on the rich. The top income brackets paid 90% during the Eisenhower era. Start with that.

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Veterinarian on Skid Row

First comes confused silence — you’re who? — then suspicion: Is this animal control, here to take my dog? Finally, a slow nod. Stewart, who calls himself the Street Vet, kneels, pulls out his stethoscope and goes to work. 

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Meet the Black men who changed Lincoln’s mind about equal rights 

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How does Tesla get away with paying $0 in federal taxes? 

Tesla reported $5.5 billion in profit last year. It depends on federally funded roads, bridges and freeways for its electric vehicles. Yet the company pays $0 in federal taxes.

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Celebrate Valentine's Day by ratting on your ex-lover, says ATF 

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One-word newscast, because it's the same news every time…

Ivan Reitman 

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 Mystery links  — Like life itself, there’s no knowing where you’re going:


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♫♬  Sing along with Doug
Cranky Old Man is annoyed and complains and very occasionally offers a kindness, along with anything off the internet that's made me smile or snarl. All opinions fresh from my ass. Top illustration by Jeff Meyer. Click any image to enlarge. Comments & conversations invited.
Tip 'o the hat to All Hat No Cattle, Linden Arden, ye olde AVA, BoingBoing, Breakfast at Ralf's, Captain Hampockets, CaptCreate's Log, John the Basket, LiarTownUSA, National Zero, Ran Prieur, Voenix Rising, and anyone else whose work I've stolen without saying thanks.
Extra special thanks to Becky Jo, Name Withheld, Dave S., and always Stephanie...


  1. I don't know what Paul Simon's best recorded song is, but it might be The Late Great Johnny Ace. Here's Paul with a little help from Philip Glass on the coda. . .



    1. Not sure I'd ever heard of Johnny Ace until clicking around, researching what I've just heard.

      Simon was musical wallpaper when I was a young man, taken for granted, but this is dang good.

      His best? I'm partial to "Bridge over Troubled Water," sung by Art but of course written by Paul.

  2. Johnny Ace, a Preacher's Son, came from absolutely nowhere and cut six consecutive hits that stunned Race Music as it was becoming R&B. It was all too much for Johnny; Big Mama Thornton was there in the dressing room as Johnny mixed his cocktail of booze and handguns and this time killed only himself.

    The good ones know what plays to the crowd. The great ones know where the music comes from. Paul Simon's best music was played on FM late at night. I still listen to Kathy's Song, American Tune, Still Crazy After All These Years, The Boy in the Bubble, Graceland, Slip Slidin' Away, and, of course, The Late Great Johnny Ace and many others, into the dark night that Paul Simon found in the American daytime, the Ray Charles of white guys; the Hoagy Carmichael of his era.


    1. I've been to only about half a dozen concerts, but one of them was Simon & Garfunkel. They did not disappoint.

      Time it was, and what a time it was...

      Hey, you'd know this. Was the Kathy of Kathy's song the same Kathy who boarded a Greyhound in Pittsburgh in "America"? That one has always haunted me. It was one of my theme songs on the cassette in the truck as I rolled away from my home town in the early 1990s, looking for a new home town.

      "Kathy, I'm lost", I said, though I knew she was sleeping
      I'm empty and aching and I don't know why
      Counting the cars on the New Jersey Turnpike
      They've all come to look for America

    2. Yup, same Kathy. Her name is Kathy Chitty, and she appears in a half dozen of Paul's songs, including The Late, Great Johnny Ace.

      She is semi-retired now, still living in England.

      She knew Simon when he was touring England before anybody knew who he was. She heard his music and was convinced he was going to be a star. She decided she was ill-suited to that kind of life, and despite her love for Paul, she chose to remain in England when he returned to the US to record Sounds of Silence and other hit songs.

      See if you can find her in a few of Simon's tunes . . .


    3. I've been to 2: one in 1969 and one in around 2000 with the Everly Brothers. Both were terrific.

    4. Oh, jeez... I hadn't heard this song recently. Hits me harder now than then. PS would've been in his early/mid 20s when he wrote it.

      Kathy Chitty

  3. Thought experiment: If the convoy was a bunch of black people protesting anything, the problem woyuld be getting police to stop kicking ass, not getting them to start.

    1. Yeah, for the last week the headlines have been, cops unsure what to do in Ottawa, blockade presents unique problems, and all I can think is, my ass.


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