homeaboutarchivescontacteverythingham sandwichprivacy

Her magic wand

As I'm packing everything up, getting rid of most of my possessions, and most of my late wife's possessions, here's Stephanie's vibrator.

I've given away her favorite books, so someone else can read them. Her favorite clothes and boots went to Goodwill, so someone else can wear them. I've tossed her childhood report cards, because much as I loved that woman, I don't much care that she aced 4th-grade Social Studies and had excellent posture.

#116

Sunday,
March 13, 2022


She loved this damned toy, though. I'm not sure anything else she owned gave her so much pleasure.

It's not something I'd ever use without her, but I can't simply toss it. Can I give it to Goodwill? Would they even accept it?

For several minutes at a time, several times over several days, I've looked at her Hitachi Magic Wand, and wondered which pile to sort it into.

It made her happy, and Steph happy is a happy memory for me, so it's decided. It fits into a milk crate, and it's coming to Seattle. 

♦ ♦ ♦

And now, news and amusements, from my internet history for yesterday…  

♦ ♦ ♦ 

Texas Supreme Court shuts down final challenge to abortion law 

Don't talk to me about "what if" Roe v Wade is overturned. It's already been overturned.

♦ ♦ ♦ 

Raised crosswalks are coming to New York streets 

… but very, very slowly.

I love the idea of raised crosswalks. Every city should add raised crosswalks at every intersection. Done right, the slope is gentle, so they're not quite like speed bumps; more just a recurring reminder at every intersection that the crosswalk is not an interruption of cars' right-of-way, but instead that cars are an interruption of people's footsteps and humans' right-of-way.

Of course, even suggesting such a change is whistling in the dark while a mugger approaches from the shadows. Realistically, before a significant percentage of New York City's crosswalks are raised, all of New York City will be underwater. 

♦ ♦ ♦ 

Premier League disqualifies Putin pal from Chelsea FC ownership 

I know as much about soccer as I know about physics, but it's a major sport in Europe, so this is a big deal. It's like telling Jerry Jones he no longer owns the Dallas Cowboys, that the team will be sold but Jones will get none of the money.

Which, now that I think of it, sounds excellent.

♦ ♦ ♦ 

Putin's pre-war moves against U.S. tech giants laid groundwork for crackdown on free expression 

Russian agents came to the home of Google’s top executive in Moscow to deliver a frightening ultimatum last September: take down an app that had drawn the ire of Russian President Vladimir Putin within 24 hours or be taken to prison.

Google quickly moved the woman to a hotel where she checked in under an assumed name and might be protected by the presence of other guests and hotel security, according to people with knowledge of the matter. The same agents — believed by company officials to be from Russia’s FSB, a successor to the KGB intelligence service — then showed up at her room to tell her the clock was still ticking.

So Google took the anti-Putin app down, said nothing, and continued raking in the rubles.

These companies are still doing business in Russia 

Russia, China and Tucker Carlson are among those spreading a false — and dangerous — story about biological weapons 

♦ ♦ ♦ 

New York Times shuts down Wordle archive 

The Times is going to kill Wordle accidentally, by pissing off the fans.

♦ ♦ ♦ 

In an about-face, liberal US cities target homeless camps 

Donald H. Whitehead Jr., executive director of the National Coalition for the Homeless, said at least 65 U.S. cities are criminalizing or sweeping encampments. "Everywhere that there is a high population of homeless people, we started to see this as their response."

♦ ♦ ♦

COVID is not over yet 

China battles worst COVID outbreak for two years as cases double in 24 hours 

♦ ♦ ♦  

Angela Davis on the power of protest:
"We can’t do anything without optimism"
 

♦ ♦ ♦ 

"It’s a scare tactic":
Pamela Moses, the Black woman jailed over voting error, speaks out
 

♦ ♦ ♦ 

Judge temporarily blocks Texas investigations into families of trans kids 

♦ ♦ ♦  

Mississippi educator fired for reading kids a silly book 

♦ ♦ ♦

Despite the pandemic, despite losing $4.2 billion, and despite the 737-MAX debacle, Boeing paid its CEO $23-million last year 

♦ ♦ ♦  

Disney accused of removing gay content from Pixar films 

♦ ♦ ♦ 

OAN sues DirecTV, alleging some kind of Dominion conspiracy 

♦ ♦ ♦ 

"Insidious and seductive":
Uber funds new lobbying group to deny rights for gig workers
 

♦ ♦ ♦ 

Leaded gasoline and leaded paint in last century shrunk IQ scores of half of Americans 

♦ ♦ ♦

"What is a Yute?":
An oral history of My Cousin Vinny
 

♦ ♦ ♦

Best name ever for a generic apartment complex:
The Dude Abodes. 

♦ ♦ ♦ 

One-word newscast, because it's the same news every time...

climate
cops
cops
cops
cops
Fox News
Republicans

♦ ♦ ♦

 Mystery links  — Like life itself, there’s no knowing where you’re going:


    
         

♦ ♦ ♦
 
♫♬  Sing along with Doug 
 
♦ ♦ ♦
 
 
3/13/2022 
 
Cranky Old Man is annoyed and complains and very occasionally offers a kindness, along with anything off the internet that's made me smile or snarl. All opinions fresh from my ass. Top illustration by Jeff Meyer. Click any image to enlarge. Comments & conversations invited.
 
Tip 'o the hat to All Hat No Cattle, Linden Arden, ye olde AVA, BoingBoing, Breakfast at Ralf's, Captain Hampockets, CaptCreate's Log, John the Basket, LiarTownUSA, Meme City, National Zero, Ran Prieur, Voenix Rising, and anyone else whose work I've stolen without saying thanks.
 
Extra special thanks to Becky Jo, Name Withheld, Dave S., and always Stephanie...

16 comments:

  1. Captain HampocketsMarch 13, 2022 at 6:07 AM

    I remember an "incident," very soon after Steph moved to San Francisco. You guys were living in, I think, a small corner apartment near a park. I (alone, I think, not with Shawna) had to come by for something, or maybe just to visit. I arrived before you were done cleaning up. You talked to me in a very serious tone - VERY rare for you - and said, "You need to NEVER tell Steph that you saw this." I agreed, and watched as you grabbed the magic wand that was in full view and stuck it in the nightstand or closet or wherever.

    I never told.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Why is Charles Entenmann's name upside-down? I THINK I've noticed that it's for political loonies, but I'm not sure how it applies here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd forgotten that moment, but you joggled it loose. Thank you for your discretion all those years ago. None since, I assume.

      The upside-down text denotes the death of people who made the world a worse place, like Charles Entenmann. Born to a family that ran an honest, successful bake shop, he wasn't content with that, and instead turned it into a factory, churning out cheap doughy sweets by the billions, driving mom & pop shops under, and eventually selling the family business to a giant corporation. Inject him with rancid fake cream filling and wrap him in plastic.

      Delete
    2. This is the most beautiful bastard obituary ever. You make me regret ever eating Entenman's.

      Delete
    3. Like Jaws 4, this time it's personal.

      When I was a kid there were mom & pop donut shops all over the city, any city. Hot, yummy baked goods from 6 in the morning until closing time.

      Now there's Dunkin' Donuts and Krisy Kreme and Entenmann's and mega-groceries with bake shops, all turning out exactly the same sweet chemically slop that tastes like Twinkies and canned pie filling.

      Delete
  2. >The upside-down text denotes the death of people who made the world a worse place

    Gotcha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, heaven only knows what you're gonna do when Louis L'Amour dies.

      j

      Delete
    2. Another of the masters I've never read, but I'll rank him higher than Bukowski.

      Delete
    3. My gradfather had every fucking Louis L'Amour book ever. When my dad and I visited, he was always, ALWAYS watching either westerns, Tarzan, or similar, on a color set turned to black and white - so if it happened to be in color, it'd still look like he was used to.

      He died in about 1985. You made me look, because I figured it was preposterous to think Louis L. was alive, and yeah, he died in 1988.

      Delete
    4. Grandpa turned the color off on the color TV — love that. In a similar spirit, I refuse to use text messaging.

      I've seen a couple of westerns "based on a novel by Louie L'Amour," and both were fine but not great. That's therefor my opinion of L'Amour's books, which is a dumb assumption, sure.

      Delete
  3. Global perspective from johnthebasket: Russia has about the same sized economy as Texas, and, by coincidence, about the same political and human rights values.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Early in this Russia-Ukraine mess, I made a five-minute effort to familiarize myself with the facts of the matter.

      After living through a lifetime of Russia-hate, what surprised me is that Russia is almost twice the size of America in terms of geography, largest nation in the world, but it's empty like Kansas — less than half the population of America. 145-million souls on more than 6-million square miles.

      More nukes than anyone else, though. And led by a man more pathological than Trump.

      What it means I don't know. What's the best strategy for dealing with it, I also do not know. Bit of a pickle, eh?

      Delete
    2. Well, Putin and Trump are on the same side. Thankfully, Trump's air force is rusty and only uses the one engine. He has sent out a plea for contributions to increase his air force (to roughly one and a half planes) but response has been tepid.

      John

      Delete
    3. Buy me a plane, Trump says. Rumor has it he's a billionaire, but I don't think so.

      We are all lucky his troubled plane didn't go down, a week ago. Can't even imagine the QAnon response to that.

      Delete
  4. > Despite the pandemic, despite losing $4.2 billion, and despite the 737-MAX debacle, Boeing paid its CEO $23-million last year

    So stupid, this is why big money capitalism is fucked. It's Boeing, a right poorly run company, and the CEO is why. They could fire him, and pay a great salary, maybe $250,000 to any of many very good workers who understand the business, and get better decisions.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not listening to the workers is a big part of why Boeing's 737-MAXes became infamous. They literally moved the corporate offices to a different state from all the people who actually design and build airplanes.

      Delete

🚨🚨 WARNING 🚨🚨
The site's software sometimes swallows comments. For less frustration, send an email. 🚨🚨