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Fishless

Jeez, I was double dumb today.

Walked all the way to Telegraph Ave, rolling the fish-cart, did the dumb lottery as required by local loony law. Rolled to the space I'd selected, and unfolded the table off the cart. The magnets are always displayed, but the stickers aren't, because they could blow away, so I put one fish magnet of each design on the big metal display stand, and then the fish stand was open for business. 

The first customer wanted an LSD-fish sticker, so I reached for the folder full of fish stickers, but — there was no folder of fish. I'd forgotten to pack the stickers!

Fortunately, I'd brought the box of sushi (raw fish pre-printed on mylar sheets), so I quickly scissored an LSD-fish for the customer, but I can't do that all day. If/when things get busy, I wouldn't be able to make fish-stickers fast enough.

So I asked the vendor at the next table to watch my stand, found a phone booth, and called Jay, my fish-monger boss. Asked her to bring me more fish stickers please, and she said OK, but boy, I felt like a big fat dummy.

Selling fish is what I do, and I'd forgotten the fish? That's like calling out for pizza, and the delivery guy gets there in thirty minutes or less, but he's forgotten the pizza.

When I called Jay, she didn't bawl me out of anything. She laughed and said it was funny, said she'd drive over with some fish as soon as she could. I was kicking me, though.

When I've done something dumb (or when I'm nervous, or angry, or bored) food is the answer, so I opened my backpack to get one of the sandwiches I'd packed — and sigh, there was the fish folder. I'd put it in my backpack this morning, instead of bungeeing it to the cart. Why? Because I'm an idiot.

So I called Jay again, and told her not to bring fish after all. No, I'm not as stupid as I thought I'd been, but I'm still pretty stupid.

She thought the second phone call was funnier than the first. I don't think any of it's funny, but I have nothing else to write about today, so there's my story for Wednesday.

From Pathetic Life #15
Wednesday, August 2, 1995

This is an entry retyped from an on-paper zine I wrote many years ago, called Pathetic Life. The opinions stated were my opinions then, but might not be my opinions now. Also, I said and did some disgusting things, so parental guidance is advised.

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2 comments:

  1. Just proof that we are often tougher on ourselves than others are on us. I hope by now, all these years later, you've learned to give yourself a break. Everyone does dumb shit all the time. It's what makes us interesting, I guess. -- Arden

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. > I hope by now, all these years later, you've learned to give yourself a break.

      I try not to care, but sometimes I still do.

      Delete

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