Is that all it takes to
make myself an ass?

You know I love movies, especially weird movies, but I'm finished with modern-day horror movies. I saw one a few days ago (review written but not yet published), and it sickened me again, like almost all modern-day horror movies sicken me, so that'll be the last one for me.

Sept. 30, 2022

Movies should have more sex, less violence, I say.

There's not much that's more dramatic than death, so if it helps a movie's story, movies should kill as many people as they need to kill. Kill them all. It's only fiction.

If you need to kill someone in a movie, though, do it. Get it over with.

Nothing's gained, dramatically, by killing someone in an imaginative, leisurely, or torturous fashion. Gouge his eyeballs out, crack his skull like an acorn, grab a handful of his brains and chew on them, then spit 'em out? He's just as dead as if you'd shot him through the heart, so for dramatic purposes, all that extra work is not naught.

Some moviemakers enjoy staging such vividly-detailed killings, and some audiences enjoy watching them, and by golly, make some Jiffy-Pop and have a marvelous time.

For me, though, that's not entertainment, so I'm going to skip all the ordinary modern-day horror movies, unless I can quickly spot some redeeming social value soaking in the blood and guts.

Is it terribly rude to clip your nails while riding the bus? That's all I was doing, minding my own fingernails clip clip clip, when I noticed that the driver was scowling at me in the rear-view, like she thought I was disgusting.

Everybody has to clip their nails somewhere. Might as well do it someplace where I don't have to sweep up afterwards. That's what I was thinking, like me and the driver were having an argument, but neither of us said anything.

She turned her eyes to the road and I resumed clipping, but at the next traffic light she seemed to be glaring at me again, and her eyes said I was an ass.

Is that all it takes to make myself an ass? Clipping my damned nails?

Look, there was nobody sitting in the seats in front of me, so my clippings weren't popping into anyone's hairdo or groceries. And unlike about a third of the passengers on any bus, I'd paid my fare. I wasn't drunk or high. Pretty sure I didn't stink as much as the guy across the aisle.

Clip, clip.

A friend sent a link to this article from a few years ago, by Gloria Diaz. She wrote a zine I liked, called Angry Young Woman, and in the article she writes about how she got into zines and why, and what it was like. Not just the bright, sunny parts, but the dark bits too — she was inspired to zining by Jim Goad, who later turned himself into a monster, but that's another story.

(If you click the link above, scroll down; the article is below the PDF links.)

Most of the zines I read in the 1990s are a blur to me, but Angry Young Woman is one I remember, because it was a living thing. It was the essence of Gloria, I think — smart, fun to read, and funny.

Too many of the few zinesters from back then no longer write, or if they're writing I don't know where. Gloria has a fine blog, Edge of Gloria, but it's been dormant so long it was listed as emeritus, at the bottom of my sidebar.

Reading her article made me click her blog again and, happy surprise, she's posted something recently. That's the best news of the week. She's alive and presumably well, and writing, so I am delighted to move her link from 'emeritus' to 'blogs and zines'.

And now, the news you need, whether you know it or not…    

♦ ♦ ♦ 

Biden mistakenly asks if deceased congresswoman is in audience 

Well, Rep Jackie Walorski was a MAGA monstrosity who tried to decertify Biden's 2020 election. I like to think Biden was trolling her corpse. 

♦ ♦ ♦ 

The CIA wants to bring back the woolly mammoth 

I guess some of us didn't learn anything from Jurassic Park.

♦ ♦ ♦  

Red states sue to block Biden student loan forgiveness plan 

♦ ♦ ♦ 

1,000 deaths in custody went unreported last year because US Justice system doesn’t care about the people it jails 

♦ ♦ ♦ 

Company asked employees to bring family, pets to office to work through Hurricane Ian 

♦ ♦ ♦ 

Drag performer sues far-right blogger for defamation over edited video 

♦ ♦ ♦ 

Campaign ad targets Republican's insane fundamentalist Christian beliefs 

I can't recall ever seeing an ad that bluntly called out a gubernatorial candidate for faith-based sexism and homophobia, evolution denial and promotion of Creationism, and David Barton-esque historical revisionism. 

♦ ♦ ♦

Ray Bradbury asks:
"What would you do if you knew this was the last night of the world?" 

♦ ♦ ♦

What can't the internet handle in 2022? Apostrophes. 

♦ ♦ ♦  

Just Enough Room Island 

♦ ♦ ♦ 

Crash at Crush, Texas 

♦ ♦ ♦ 

One-word newscast, because it's the same news every time...




♦ ♦ ♦

The End

Joe Bussard
Sonia Handelman Meyer
Valery Polyakov
John Stearns 


Cranky Old Fart is annoyed and complains and very occasionally offers a kindness, along with anything off the internet that's made me smile or snarl. All opinions fresh from my ass. Top illustration by Jeff Meyer. Click any image to enlarge. Comments & conversations invited. 

Tip 'o the hat to Linden Arden, ye olde AVA, BoingBoing, Breakfast at Ralf's, Captain Hampockets, CaptCreate's Log, John the Basket, LiarTownUSA, Meme City, National Zero, Ran Prieur, Voenix Rising, and anyone else whose work I've stolen without saying thanks. 

Extra special thanks to Becky Jo, Name Withheld, Dave S, Wynn Bruce, and always Stephanie...


  1. Man, you know me. I'm a filthy fucker. But yes, public nail clipping is gross.

    1. Really? Well, if I've grossed *you* out that's an accomplishment.

      If I'd been wearing flip-flops I would've clipped my toenails too.

  2. My brother, I don't want to go around pissing in your pocket, but I think the comma in the title of today's piece and in the text changes the meaning of the sentence. Comma Rule 13 (which I use to defend my overuse of commas) says: Use a comma to improve clarity. I think this one might fall under Rule 13a.

    I was just thinking, Damn, hardly anybody's been giving Doug shit today to my knowledge. I guess it's my turn.

    once again,

    Johnny Dickshot

    1. Yeah, you're right. Fixed it, thanks.

      I used to be quite the commaholic. Instead of using commas like you're supposed to, I tend to use them whenever there'd be a slight pause in a spoken sentence. I got a bit better at commas after coaching from my wife, a better writer than me. Old habits though are hard to break.

    2. I fucking HATE using commas as they were intended to be used according to third-grade teachers coast to coast, separating clauses, whatever, etc.

      I agree about the "spoken" aspect of insertion. Lists, obviously are a different matter.

      And of course fiction writers should be allowed whatever leeway they please (with a good editor's guidance... which means no guidance at all as there are no longer any editors [good or otherwise] in the publishing business, just as there are no proofreaders or QC of any kind).

      Joyce used closetfuls of commas; fake cowboy poets like Cormac McCarthy dispense with them completely; naturally I hate them both! Unless you're a world-scale genius like Fitzgerald, writing in a classically "invisible" style, just drop the commas wherever you want, like a fart punctuating a dinner party. Timing is everything.

      As for Jackie Chan, it remains to be seen if he is indeed a Commanist.

    3. I wouldn't have expected such passion over a punctuation mark, but I hear ya, Claude. And I love a fart punctuating a dinner party.

      Almost an anarchist at heart, I believe most rules should be flaunted unless there's an obvious reason for obeying.

      With writing, *most* of the rules serve a purpose. I'm immediately drawn out of whatever I'm reading when a word is misspelled, a proper noun isn't capitalized, a quote is opened but never closed, etc.

      Commas are minor-league punctuation, for me. I'd definitely stumble if a period is misplaced or a sentence begins with lower-case, but when a comma is missing I might not notice, or if it's there unnecessarily I'd fly right past.

      That said, I would fight gallantly for the Oxford comma, and when singing along with Boy George it's always "Comma, comma, comma, comma, comma, chameleon."

      In conclusion at last, I get all worked up over such violations as a four-dot ellipsis, or a dash where a long-dash should be, so while I don't share Johnny Dickshot's comma persuasion, it's a rule I try to follow. And frequently fail.

    4. I suppose Jackie Chan would sing "Comma, comma, comma, comma, comma, Comma Communist, you come and go (chop, chop), you come and go," preserving the Oxford comma.


    5. Oxford has been in business almost as long as Doctor Who has been alive, so there's gotta be something else, but to my knowledge that comma is the only good thing that's come from that place.

    6. They make nice shoes.


    7. You made me laugh, dude. :)

      For whatever it's worth, about $100 p/pair, I've been wearing Kiziks and loving them. They have laces, but you only tie the knot once; they're actually slip-ons, and you don't even need to bend over to slip 'em on.

      I've had my first pair for a year or so, with no visible wear and tear. Bought a second pair because they were on supersale, but I've only worn them once.

    8. Down south here in Tacoma where it's warmer, I've been buying Keens since my feet got fat a dozen years ago. They're technically sandals, but they wear and wear and not much rain leaks in. Bought my second pair a couple of years ago. Sixty bucks a shoe, but they only sell them in pairs. Still, it's a good deal. As for the people I'd bend over for, half of them are dead and the other half are lookin' peeked. And I'd need a full day's notice.


    9. Open toes?

      I'm OK with bending over, but not too far or getting back up again can be difficult.

    10. The only Keens I've seen are closed-toe. Like my bending over, I share my toes with very few people these days.

      PS - Thanks for the comment name tip.


    11. I'd like shoes that could be hammered on and stayed on, like horse shoes.

    12. On the one hand, that makes you a practical man. On the other hand it makes you less than stylish. On the foot there is only blood.


    13. Socks 24/7. Shoes only when leaving the house. Never stylish, really. I'm opposed.

  3. The crash at Crush, Texas was exactly the news I needed. How did you happen upon this piece of Americana?


    1. Got the facts from Wikipedia, but I'd heard of it many years ago.

  4. I think Mr. Paich is singing "bless" rather than "miss", although I think "miss" would make more sense. Mr. Paich was the primary writer, so I guess he should know. In the end it really doesn't matter: it's only rock 'n' roll, but I like it. I also like the Dorothy window. And Toto too.

    as always,


    1. Only thing I know about Toto is that nobody in the band had been to Africa when they first sang their big hit "Africa."

  5. Thanks so much for reaching out and putting my blog, Edge of Gloria, back on the "active" list. I don't put a lot on there; I'm concentrating more on https://nowaylaowaihome.wpcomstaging.com/, which if you want to list on your blog, that would be great! Things are looking up for me recently, so am I still Angry Young Woman? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. But I'm happier than I've been for a while. Finding your Pathetic Life archives took me back to the 90s....what a nice time that was for me...I miss it...

  6. Happy beats angry, and older beats young. I will mos def update the list, but don't expect many clicks -- nobody reads my top secret blog.

    And yeah, I know I owe you an email! :)


The site's software sometimes swallows comments. For less frustration, send an email and I'll post it as a comment.