No boners for her

After seeing Terry's Tenderloin tragedy yesterday, I dreamed about her last night. It was yesterday's scene again, only this time we made eye contact, and she approached me and said, "Holland, you're disgusting." It was just like old times.

"And you're a cheap slut," I said to her, and then out of curiosity, I asked, "How cheap?"

At that her attitude changed, and she even smiled. "Forty dollars," she said, "for anything at all."

"No," I shook my head. "Nothing less than a hundred bucks."

Her eyes brightened. She didn't get the joke. "OK," she said, and suggested a shack of a hotel at the corner.

"In advance," I said, holding my hand out and rubbing fingers against my thumb.

It should've been a funny dream, because I do hate her. She started crying, though, and cried so loud it woke me up, so it just seems sad.

♦ ♦ ♦

Here's a thought that surprises me.

I am a heterosexual man, masturbation is my hobby, and Terry isn't ugly. We lived in the same apartment, and like I mentioned yesterday, she was casual about covering up, so I saw her undressed, even fucking Pike, several times.

And yet, never ever have I masturbated to mental imagery of Terry. I don't think I've even had a fleeting dirty thought about her. I dislike her too strongly to even daydream of touching that woman.

♦ ♦ ♦ 

Walked into the guest room to use the phone, check my messages, and there are more fleas there than a week ago. Again I drenched the room with Raid, but it isn't working and I'm tired of fleas, so I knocked on Judith and Jake's door and got kinda cranky.

Upshot: We're going halvsies to buy several flea-specific bugbombs, targeting every bedroom and the kitchen, living room, and stairs. Yay!

♦ ♦ ♦ 

And another yay: My toothache seems to be fading at last.

Judith said she needed help eating some leftover meat before it goes bad, so for dinner I ate four pork chop sandwiches. This required actual chewing, and it's been a week since I've eaten anything but PBJs, but it only hurt in slight twinges.

From Pathetic Life #17
Tuesday, October 24, 1995

This is an entry retyped from an on-paper zine I wrote many years ago, called Pathetic Life. The opinions stated were my opinions then, but might not be my opinions now. Also, I said and did some disgusting things, so parental guidance is advised.

Pathetic Life
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