In a dream, I was walking to the bus stop and happened to see my grandmother on the sidewalk. It was very surprising to see her, because she's been dead more than 35 years.
She didn't recognize me, because I was lots younger the last time she'd seen me, lots thinner, skinnier, and my beard was brown instead of gray. Plus, of course, she'd had Alzheimer's.
"Excuse me, but you're my grandmother," I said to this woman who was, through the passage of years, about my age.
"Impossible, mister," she said, understandably skeptical.
"Are you Susan Holland?"
"Yes," she said, and recognition flashed across her face. "Are you — Doug?"
"Yeah, and it's marvelous to see you!" We hugged for a long time that seemed too brief, right there on Union Street, and she looked me in the face and asked, "How did you get so… old?"
And I asked her, "How did you get so… not dead?"
Then I woke up quite unsettled, typed the dream, and now I'm going to have a difficult time getting back to sleep.
For the past several decades, sleep has been difficult for me, and now that I'm working again it's been hard getting back into a daily schedule or work and sleep. Always at night I want to stay awake another hour, maybe two, but if I do I'll be asleep at my desk the next day.
Naps on the bus are a big help, but three mornings a week I get a bus driver on the #99 who makes chipper announcements over the public address, saying things the passengers already know, like, "Metro's new spring schedules are now in effect, please take a copy from the rack up front as you deboard."
Then she'll contradict herself a few blocks later, telling everyone to "Please exit by the rear doors," so how are they gonna get those precious new schedules, huh? They're only up front!
And then a few blocks later, "After we reach downtown, this #99 does not continue on as a northbound #22." Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't, but it's listed in the schedule you want us to pick up and then tell us not to.
"Thank you for riding Metro," she'll announce a few times, to make sure no passengers can nap.
Driving would be quicker, of course, but I don't like the hassle and expense of cars, and you can't sleep while you're driving. Or at least, it's not advised.
And anyway, my car's making a godawful racket when it runs, again.
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I asked for a refill on my prescription sleeping pills, and the doctor said no, not without a new appointment.
Bad doctoring, doc. I've been an insomniac for fifty years, and the 2-3 nights a week I take pills are the only good night's sleep I ever get. Four different doctors have prescribed them for me, and nobody's ever asked for an appointment just to talk about it.
Anyway, I don't have health insurance yet, so an appointment would cost $195, not including the pills.
Prescriptions are such a racket.
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On the left, you'll see two boxes of Popsicles™.
The bottom box is loaded with sugar, 40 calories per treat. The difference adds up quickly, if you eat half a dozen Popsicles in one sitting, and I do.
The boxes look so alike that I've sometimes bought the wrong box. It used to piss me off, but now my groceries are delivered, and the store reliably gets it wrong, too, almost every time.
When it was my mistake, I ate it, literally. When it's their mistake, I complain, and the store not only refunds my money, but gives me an extra five dollars in credit against my next order.
They've been bringing the wrong Popsicles a lot lately. It makes grocery delivery affordable, and my flatmate Robert gets a box or two of free sugary Popsicles, so everyone's happy except Fred Meyer.
News you need,
whether you know it or not
• Largest strike in decades brings Germany to a standstill
• The "shameful" end of The Texas Observer
• Nebraska State Senator reaffirms her vow to filibuster all legislation if an anti-trans bill passes
• Cop gets one year + one day for seven felonies
• Deputies accused of shoving guns in mouths of 2 Black men
• Cop gets 12 years in prison for 14 years of repeated child rapes
• Philly sheriff's deputy sold guns illegally, including 2 used in high school killing, feds say
• Third guard gets 6 years for beating inmate to death
• An LAPD SWAT raid wrecked this man's print shop. He can't get compensation.
• Cop gets 18 months for off-duty 105mph wreck that killed two
• NJ Attorney General's office taking over Paterson Police Dept. following shooting death
• "Light him up": Police repeatedly use Taser on homeless man in Gresham
• How did a police chase in Mississippi end with an innocent woman shot in her bedroom?
• Marjorie Taylor Greene led delegation to visit Capitol attack defendants in jail
• Ohio higher-ed bill would require instructors to teach "both sides" on climate change
• Activist group led by wife of Supreme Court Justice received nearly $600,000 in anonymous donations
• Mississippi's choice to forgo Medicaid funds is killing hospitals
• Florida, abortion refuge in US south, poised to pass six-week ban
• Republican Congressman bewildered that TikTok connects using WiFi
• Republican Senator calls Department of Defense an "abortion travel agency"
Mystery links
There's no knowing where you're going
• Click
• Click
• Click
• Click
• Click
My browser history
without the porn
• What if the people owned the banks? The case for public banking.
• After a 1935 tragedy, a priest vowed to teach kids about menstruation
• What the rest of the world realizes about prosecuting former presidents
• How to save America's public transit systems from a doom spiral
• Cop City coverage fails to question narratives of militarized police
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♫♬ It don't mean a thing ♫
if it don't have that swing
• Anywhere I Lay My Head — Tom Waits
• Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night — Dylan Thomas
• In Spite of Ourselves — John Prine with Iris Dement
• Strange Magic — Electric Light Orchestra
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Eventually, everyone
leaves the building
3/29/2023
Cranky Old Fart is annoyed and complains and very occasionally offers a kindness, along with anything off the internet that's made me smile or snarl. All opinions fresh from my ass. Top illustration by Jeff Meyer. Click any image to enlarge. Comments & conversations invited.
Tip 'o the hat to ye olde AVA, BoingBoing, Breakfast at Ralf's, CaptCreate's Log, Katameme, Looking for My Perfect Sandwich, One Finger Medical, Two Finger Magical, Miss Miriam's Mirror, Nebulously Burnished, RanPrieur.com, Voenix Rising, and anywhere else I've stolen links, illustrations, or inspiration.
Special thanks to Linden Arden, Becky Jo, Wynn Bruce, Joey Jo Jo, John the Basket, Dave S, Name Withheld, and always extra special thanks to my lovely late Stephanie, who gave me 21 years and proved that the world isn't always shitty.
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