Tax time

Like everyone else, I hate filing my taxes. It's a waste of time and money and calculator batteries, and it's completely a charade — the IRS knows what you earned last year, so why do you have to fill out the blanks and do the math?

Also, it seems morally wrong that we tax little people who're barely surviving. Tax the rich bastards, and leave poor folks with what little they have.

But, what can you do? We have to make sure there's enough cash in the federal budget to keep manufacturing bombs, and enemies to drop 'em on.

From Pathetic Life #23
Monday, April 15, 1996

This is an entry retyped from an on-paper zine I wrote many years ago, called Pathetic Life. The opinions stated were my opinions then, but might not be my opinions now. Also, I said and did some disgusting things, so parental guidance is advised.

Addendum, 2023: I'd forgotten this entry, and chuckled at it today, but back then nobody else was in on the joke. Kept it oblique above, only asking, "But, what can you do?" without answering the question.

There's no harm in answering it now: From 1987 until 2013, I didn't file tax returns, based on the intricate moral argument of Fuck Off.

The Statute of Limitations has resolved all legal peril from that. There were no penalties, and there are only two things I regret about those years of not filing 1040s.

When I made the decision not to file, I was a single man in my 20s, and the idea that I'd ever find someone and fall in love, that my decision to scoff at the law might impact anyone but me, never entered my mind at all.

And then my beloved Stephanie came along, and amazed me by falling in love and happy-ever-aftering with me. Who'd a thunk it?

By far, my biggest regret about being a non-filer is that it brought her the hassle of an illegal husband. It made us poorer than we might've been, and gave her worries that the IRS was gonna get me — or maybe get both of us, since she knew everything.

That's my main regret, not just in taxes, but in life.

The IRS never gave a damn, of course, and pestered me exactly once in those 26 years.

My second regret, a very distant second, is that I'm a taxpayer again, but again, what can you do? I'm a little blue, every year nowadays as I do file.

I'm not filing this year, but it's legal, just this once. Only working in January and August of 2022, I didn't earn the minimum, $12,950, required to file. So once again, the IRS can Fuck Off.


  1. You didn't have me do your taxes this year. Hope I didn't fuck up the last couple years. If I did, all apologies.

    1. Not filing is worth more to me than any refund.

    2. Fair enough. But if I were owed more than ~50 bucks, it'd be worth my 30 minutes.

    3. I ought to write about it, about how much I hate it, man. It's beyond a pet peeve. It frickin' infuriates me that we're all supposed to fill out long and tedious paperwork to get what's supposed to be ours.

      Medicaid, man. It took hours to navigate that bullshit, and they sent me a letter a week later saying I'd have to re-navigate it after thirty days...

      Social Security... I've pretty much given up on even inquiring, as it seems to require four hours on hold just to make an appointment to talk about filling out the forms.

      A chance to say Fuck Off to the IRS? I'd take that if it costs me a grand.


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