Thursday, August 4, 1994Momma mia, what a monstrous dump I just took. 4:00 in the morning and
my bulging bowels woke me up, so I hurried down the hall to the toilet.
All the stalls were disgusting, so I had to TP a wet seat before
sitting down, and there I sat for far too long.It was one of those
difficult, grunt and groan BMs that refused to exit the premises. It
took half an hour and left me sweaty and wide awake at 4:30 in the
morning, and I couldn’t get back to sleep, so I’m gonna yawn a lot at
work today.
♦ ♦ ♦
I yawned a lot at work today.
♦ ♦ ♦
Darla, my new boss, stopped by my desk (the word is an exaggeration; I
have a few feet of counter space, not a desk) and delivered a new
project to me — paperwork six inches tall. She explained and I
understand how to do what she’s asked me to do, but I don’t understand
where the time is supposed to come from.
This new task will take maybe 45 minutes a day. I’ve also inherited
the late Hector’s responsibility for distributing some daily reports.
And we still haven’t talked about the new duties my group is taking over
after last Friday’s layoffs, so whatever that work is, nobody is doing
it.
And then Darla said she’s worried that we’re falling behind in our ordinary work, and I encouraged her to worry more. Yes, we are falling behind. We’ll soon be falling further behind. 1/3 of the people who do what we do were laid off, so of course we’re falling behind.
Department Store 101: We’re (always) running ads on TV and in
newspapers about the next big sale, and the price reductions need to be
input — by us — before the sale starts. See, customers tend to get
annoyed if you lure them into the store to buy a cute blouse for 20%
off, and it’s not 20% off.
If we’re running behind on making the price changes, then that cute
blouse will ring up at full price, and that could be a problem. (For
management, not for me. I don’t give a damn.)
Darla said, “We need to have the price changes input on schedule,” as if saying it will make it so.
“Will there be overtime?,” said me.
“No, that’s not in the budget,” said she.
“Well then, will there be a sale?”
I’ll give Darla some credit here, because she seemed to catch my
cryptic meaning. Within moments, the new task she’d just given me was
put on hold, along with the still-unexplained new duties for my group.
For now, our only priority will be our ordinary work — inputting those
price changes.
Good thinking, boss.
This is an entry retyped from an on-paper zine I wrote many years ago, called Pathetic Life. The
opinions stated were my opinions then, but might not be my opinions
now. Also, I said and did some disgusting things, so parental guidance
is advised.
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