“Is there anything else you want us to know?”

Leftovers & links & reviews without spoilers

 ♦  Taking yet another online customer-satisfaction survey, I quickly answered their questions, and then they surprised me with a free-form question at the end: “Is there anything else you want us to know?”

Since you asked, yes. There are ten things I want you to know:

• Pants are not always required.
• Never scrimp on sleep; it’s important for your health.
• Say or do something kind today.
• If you're the only person who gives a damn about something, reconsider.
• Don't believe everything you're told, or everything you want to believe.
• There are things more important than money.
• Never take crap you don’t deserve.
• Ninjas usually wear black, so super-stealthy ninjas wear plaid.
• Admire good principles, not good people, cuz the people will always disappoint you.
• Write something every day.

♦  Emelie is a low-budget and low-key 2016 thriller that I wasn’t expecting much from, but it sure delivers the shivers. A suburban whitebread couple has an anniversary dinner planned, and their usual babysitter isn’t available, so they’ve hired a new sitter who’s not what she seems. The tension builds slowly, until the children’s safety hinges on whether the oldest child, already established as a spoiled and sullen pre-adolescent, will have the brains and ability to defend his siblings. I have no children, but I imagine any parents who saw this movie might triplecheck the sitter’s background before their next night out. 

♦  Porno is not a porno, it’s a 2019 horror movie set in a haunted 1980s movie theater, in a very, very religious community. The employees find a storage room full of old movies, thread one of the reels into the projector, and watch a weird movie within the movie, which brings about some serious ungodliness. “When we watched that movie, we unleashed the sex demon.” Fangoria, the marvelous magazine of horror fandom, was involved in the funding and production of this movie, and their expertise shows — it’s funny, scary, and smart, but not sexy. Beware of exploding testicles, though.

♦  "Half the psychiatrists at my hospital thought this was absolutely scandalous, and This Is Not How One Treats Obsessive Compulsive Disorder." 

♦  This is a motherfucking website. The text is outdated, but the principles are still valid.

♦  Invasion of the Body Snatchers, then and now.

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  1. I want a cheeseburger for breakfast
    Who’s going to say the answer’s no?
    I want a cheeseburger for breakfast
    with French fries and a milk shake to go!


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