Schmuck.

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The I-95 crisis — a wreck blocks traffic in snow and ice, so people are trapped on the freeway for a day, hoping for help — is an embarrassment, and it’s miraculous nobody died, this time.

In icy climes and times, there will be snow and ice and accidents that shut down long stretches of the freeways. This is predictable. Responsible leaders should have a plan in place. Why was there no plan?

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George Harrison as Pirate Bob

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Almost a month ago, on an afternoon that ended with a visit to the emergency room, I spent an hour and a half puking into a salad bowl. The liquid and chunks from that bowl were flushed, of course, but the bowl itself was buried under other dishes, and it wasn’t until this afternoon that I got around to washing it.

Soon as the hot water splashed onto it, the stench reinvented itself — ah, sweet memories. I should probably wash the dishes more often. With effort and patience and generic dish soap, almost all things get better. That’s my profound thought for the day.

Now that same bowl is filled with with lettuce and cherry tomatoes, black olives, banana peppers, and thousand island dressing, and life is good.

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Archbishop Tutu laid to rest in cheapest available coffin to avoid flashy displays

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Local authorities had blocked construction of a mosque for reasons of bullshit, but a court says the mosque must be allowed to be built.

In Mississippi, it takes a court order to OK a mosque? If these Muslims can find a local contractor willing to build their mosque, they’ll need to hire 24/7 security too, to prevent local lunatics from torching the building.

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Albert Camus wore a cigarette

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Here’s now-former New York Times columnist Ben Smith, announcing that he’s starting an un-named new “global news organization”:

“There are 200 million people who are college educated, who read in English, but who no one is really treating like an audience, but who talk to each other and talk to us,” Ben Smith said. “That’s who we see as our audience.”

Read that three times and tell me what it means, please.

Smith first caught my attention because the New York Times let him report about BuzzFeed while he owned Buzzfeed stock, so I’ll tell you what it means: We should look forward to his new project with scant interest.

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Guy who made billions by running WeWork into the ground will be the South’s new landlord

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Critical Race Theory means teaching facts when we’re teaching history. Facts, that’s all. Inarguable facts like, Whitey did a lot of godawful things, and still does. Liars, of course, are opposed to teaching the facts of history. That’s the entire ‘controversy’ over CRT, so pick a side — should history classes teach history? Yes or no.

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New York Times declares “bullet” killed 14 year old girl, not the cop that fired it

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Yesterday, unexpected in a box, I discovered lots of Skittles left over from when I worked in an office two years ago, and had a candy dish at my desk. Immediately I ate about 100 pieces, before doublechecking my premises.

In my stupid logic, buying candy would be cheating on my diet, of course, but finding candy is AOK, and makes it lower in calories?

This idiot then placed the rest of the candy on the shared shelf as a charitable donation, and he’s slightly proud, slightly ashamed.

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One-word newscast:

• cops —①— —②—

• COVID

• evil