CRANKY OLD FART'S
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#371 [archive]
The headline says, House makes history, removes McCarthy as Speaker, but what makes that 'history'? My flatmate Robert dropped some toast on the kitchen floor yesterday, then fell over picking it up. First time that's happened — was that 'history', too?
Why should anyone care that some ghastly Republican has been ousted as Speaker of the House? It's news that doesn't matter — he'll be replaced by someone as bad or worse, and the reliable fuckery of the US House of Representatives will continue.
Meanwhile, "the global average temperature for September broke records by such an absurd margin that climate experts are struggling to describe the phenomenon," but la-di-da and golly gee, let's talk about the latest Republican nincompoopery.
It was announced in advance, so I tested the test by putting my phone into absolute silence mode, in which it makes no sound. And yet, at the pre-announced time, my phone came awake and began making noises and spoke Spanish to me. I don't speak Spanish.
Is it a good thing that the government can override the settings on your phone, as merely a 'test' to show that it can? I'm uncertain. Not to get all QAnon wrapped in a tin foil hat, but it's kinda creepy.
Shaken baby syndrome is a real thing; what's junk science is the 1990s-era belief that aggressively shaking a baby is the only cause of it. We've learned that other things can cause the same swelling of the brain.
So this man was "guilty" under outdated medical knowledge, but by present knowledge we're not even sure a crime was committed. And he's going to die.
• Biden administration waives federal laws to allow border wall construction in Texas
I won't even bother detailing the dumbness and doublecross of a Democrat saying, "Build this wall." You learn to expect less than the least from Democrats, but we all know that.
What I didn't know is — the President can simply 'waive' dozens of federal laws? That's even more fucked-up than building a damned wall.
News on paper is outdated before it's printed. Add three hours drive time? The news will be positively ancient.
• New bill seeks to pressure police nationwide to give a damn about untested rape kits
They found a Republican co-sponsor of this legislation, which struck me odd. Ah, but the article reveals that the Republican was herself a victim of rape.
I swear, the only way to squeeze empathy or sympathy or anything human from a Republican is if it affects them personally, or their immediate family.
• The curse of Dialup World
Amusing stories from olden days.
My condolences to the 66, but for the rest of Seattle this is great news.
The local Hard Rock Cafe was located mere footsteps from Pike Place Market, and always kicked the Market's vibe in the nuts. Now it'll be a nice empty space — perhaps a real restaurant could move in.
Next to go, I hope, is the frickin' Target across the street. Such abominations should never have been allowed at the Market.
• Alabama cops are denied 'qualified immunity' over arrest of auto mechanic for not giving them his ID
This mechanic was working on a customer's car that was stranded in a church parking lot, and the church's security guard called the cops. That's the story, and it's aggravating enough, but let's get tangential:
Why does a church, backed by the awesome omnipotent power of Jesus, Mary, and the Holy Ghost, need a security guard?
• Grumpy old man gets banned from Lake Champlain ferries
Dude wrote an angry email to the ferry company. They told him to row a boat.
Nothing much to it, but this item amused me because I’m a grumpy old man, so I sympathize with
writing the angry email. And also because I've fielded kooky customer
complains, so I sympathize both ways.
• Tire dust makes up the majority of ocean microplastics, study finds
• Seattle was once a hub for 'multiphones', playing music over the telephone
• What ever happened to that Ford Bronco, after the Great Chase of OJ Simpson?
• The Police Problem
This is my ongoing collection of police brutality, beatings, and general corruption.
• Amusing, Interesting, Outrageous, or Profound
And this is my Lemmy page, for anything that's amusing, interesting, outrageous, or profound (in my opinion).
♫♬ MUSIC ♫
• All My Happiness is Gone — Purple Mountains
• The Communists Have the Music — They Might Be Giants
• Gone Daddy Gone — Violent Femmes
• Jupiter, Bringer of Jollity — Gustav Holst
❔ MYSTERY LINKS ❔
• Click
• Click
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⚰️ OBITUARIES ⚰️
10/6/2023
Cranky Old Fart is annoyed and complains and very occasionally offers a kindness, along with anything off the internet that's made me smile or snarl. All opinions fresh from my ass. Top illustration by Jeff Meyer. Click any image to enlarge. Comments & conversations invited.
Tip 'o the hat to the AVA, BoingBoing, Breakfast at Ralf's, Kottke,org, Looking for My Perfect Sandwich, MetaFilter, Miss Miriam's Mirror, RanPrieur.com, @soberscientistlife, Voenix Rising, and anywhere else I've stolen links, illustrations, or inspiration.
Special thanks to Linden Arden, Becky Jo, Wynn Bruce, Joey Jo Jo emeritus, John the Basket, Dave S, Name Withheld, and always extra special thanks to my lovely late Stephanie, who gave me 21 years and proved that the world isn't always shitty.
I don't know who Gabe Gutierrez and Summer Concepcion are, but they're not journalists. I read this story in the legitimate press, and without spin, the Biden administration tried to avoid building this section of wall, but the bill that authorized it was well-written and very hard to get around. The reason you know this is that the Biden administration hasn't asked Congress for a single dollar for wall building. The oppose wall building. And they aren't of a mind to help make Donald Trump look like some kind of immigration genius. When the facts are tangled, as they are here, common sense should prevail.
ReplyDeleteJohn
Except for the conception part, Summer Concepcion would be my very favorite conception. Never met either her nor Gabe, but they're NBC News so I'll assume they know the facts. Gotta know the facts better than me.
DeleteThanks for noting the death of Jeremy Silman. He was a premier chess analyst and commentator. I got to see him for a whole week in 2001 in Seattle and he managed to make the game almost understandable to unserious players like me. He was also hilarious, and managed to find humor in bloody chess traps. He would do commentary on a four hour game, and it seemed like a four hour action movie. For a week, I spent more time listening to Jeremy than I did watching actual US grandmasters push pawns next door. Jeremy was the highlight of any tournament for which he provided simultaneous commentary. I would have missed the announcement of his death had you not picked it up. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteJohn
Well, I guess it's better to be the bearer of bad news than to miss the bad news entirely. Seemed like an interesting guy.
DeleteHe did play-by-play in another room? I'd be real curious what that sounds like. Give me enough chatter to see farther ahead than I usually see ahead, but then be quiet so's I can think. Seems a very difficult balance.
Was there an extra admission to hear his analysis? Did he have to break for Nike ads?
Oh, dude, this is chess. Free admission, free commentary, players sneaking out for a smoke in the middle of a crucial game mingling with the spectators. First prize was an absurdly small amount of money.
DeleteBut in the playing room: click, click, click (chess clocks [only clickless cameras allowed]). If you felt a cough coming on, you Groucho-walked to the exit. In the commentary room, laughter (as there was wherever Jeremy went) and conversations about games in-progress.
Almost no advertising. This move wasn't brought to you by Homestreet Bank. VERY non-commercial, thus the low prize money.
John
That sounds different than what I'd expect. Is there cosplay? Could I go as a rook? Are there groupies? I am mostly serious.
DeleteNo. No. Maybe.
DeleteI don't know what I said to imply cosplay. And remember, I last went almost 25 years ago. I know I used the present tense, but I also knew you wouldn't care about the details.
Every other male and every tenth female thinks they play chess (I used the now-correct "they" although it pisses me off -- in this case it works). We don't. In the world of chess, you live and die by your rating. The current world chess champion - quick, can you name him? - is Ding Liren who beat Ian Nepomniachtchi this spring after former world chess champion Magnus Carlsen chose not to defend his title. The world champion has to defend his title every two years or he loses it. (It's always a he. Men are better than women at chess).
Ding Liren's rating is 2780
Ian Nepomniachtchi's rating is 2771
Magnus Carlsen's rating is 2848, the highest in the world by over 50 points
So chess fans don't give a rat's ass how chess players look (except for Magnus who is a former male model [honest] and maybe the women swoon over him). They care about their ratings. Everybody wants to be an IM or GM (International Master or Grandmaster). Women want to be a WGM (Woman Grandmaster).
There are over 2,000 Grandmasters. 41 of these are women. Another source says there are 1,771 Grandmasters but agrees that 41 of them are women. Jesus.
Just for perspective, I have played a thousand games, and if I had a rating it would be around 300. I couldn't beat a junior high chess team member. I have played one person with an FIDE rating (I think it was about 1700, but he was rusty) in an (unfortunately) public forum. I was out of the game by the 7th move.
All this to say if you're talking serious chess the first question is "What's your rating?"
No cosplay, no fucking around. What's your rating.
The players are the stars of a tournament. I've seen kids ask a player (after play is complete) to sign their roll-up boards. I've not seen an adult do this, but mostly adults just want to shake hands with the kickass players. There is a great deal of respect for a Grandmaster or International Master. No cosplay, no fuckin' around.
I just realized that I was going to explain how chess works, and it's complicated and I don't pretend to understand it. 32 pieces on 64 squares. Should be simple. Isn't.
John
Should have mentioned, titles are for life. If you become a Grandmaster or International Master or any FIDE title, you have it for life and beyond. Bobby Fischer is Bobby Fischer, GM in his cold, cold grave in Iceland.
DeleteI keep getting interrupted. I prefer to explain thoroughly. Bobby Fischer left the ranks of listed GMs when he died. But he retained the title of GM. So he isn't one of the 2,000 or 1,771. I was trying to explain that GMs don't retire. They retain the title for life collectively and retain it theoretically forever personally.
DeleteJohn
Ding Liren, eh? I may have read the name once or twice, but for the win on Family Feud I never could've come up with that name. Ask me tomorrow, and I won't be able to come up with that name.
DeleteTaking stuff seriously is fine and all, but if I went to a tournament, I would definitely want to go as a rook. I wouldn't have the money for a cool costume, though, so I'd probably just wear a rook t-shirt. Hard for me to imagine there isn't at least that level of cosplay — baseball caps and such. But really, nobody comes wearing a bishop's hood?
I sorta played sorta officially a long, long time ago. Sometimes I won but I was never any good. The prestige of it was that I had a rating. Pretty sure it was a three-digit number. No idea what the number was, but I had a rating and there were people with even worse ratings. Having a rating was what was cool. Been a long time, but I've sorta bragged about that — "I used to play competitive chess, and even had a rating." Of course, everyone who plays competitive chess gets a rating, but the people I was bragging to didn't know that.
Dammit, the Googs ate my comment, and I kinda worked on it a while. Shit. I'll try an abbreviated version. Shit.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the obit of Jeremy Silman. He was a terrific chess author and easily the most entertaining commentator in chess. If you've never been to a chess tournament, the players are moving their pieces and punching their clocks in a large room. In a room down the hall, there's a guy watching every game electronically, and providing commentary on the moves. In addition to writing chess books, this is what Jeremy did for a living. He did it with insight, humor and terrific perspective. The fans would be in the chess room, and the serious chess players would be in the commentary room when Jeremy was working. He had game himself, achieving the level of International Master.
But as a commentator, he was a grandmaster. I got to watch him for a week in 2001, and he made sense out of 16 simultaneous games while keeping the room laughing. He died in pain at 69. We could have enjoyed his knowledge and wit another 30 years.
Doug, thanks for noting his passing. I don't hang around chess sites, and I would have otherwise missed his obit.
John
Looks like both versions made it. At least, I can see both...
DeleteI guaran-fuckin-tee you that the first comment vanished. I waited ten minutes, then tried to recreate it, without much success as you can see if you're foolish enough to read both. It was gone. It took me 15 minutes to type the second comment, and the first one was still gone. Had the comment not been for Jeremy, I'd have just said fuckit. That's the past tense of the subjunctive mood there, not to bring up an old wound.
DeleteJohn
Once, I experienced a comment that disappeared but came back, and like yours it was ten or fifeen minutes. Sometimes it's profanity (type 'blowj*b' without the asterisk and you're deleted) but more often it's an algorithm I haven't cracked at all, and simply changing a few words to the binary adds up to something different will get you into the room. I do not understand the slow deletes and slow restorations. They're only to drive us crazy...
DeleteNo expert an I but why should anyone care? The Speaker is the procedural point person, who decides everything like what bills will be advanced, who's going to speak, when there's going to be a vote. The Speaker does all the negotiating with the Senate and the White House, like the shutdown that didn't happen last week. It didn't happen because McCarthy was willing to negotiate. The next Speaker might not be.
ReplyDeleteThe next Speaker will be an ass, because he she or it will be a Republican, but whoever he she or it is, the destruction of Earth and America will continue at about the same pace. The Speaker might as well be called The Symptom.
DeleteI'm down with a virus so I'll answer your yellow questions but quickly.
ReplyDeleteAgreed about the Speaker of the House. It's historic only to reporters that are fascinated with the facade and charade of it all, but for anyone outside of DC and almo9st everyone inside it is of no importance.
I think the cellphone test and emergency system is a good idea but why is it federal? Any emergency where we'd need guidance would be local, regional, not nationwide.
Have some chicken soup or marijuana or whatever and feel better fast.
DeleteI wish Trump hadn't hijacked the term "fake news." Long before that bozo, that was my term for things like the 24/7 coverage of Kevin McCarthy getting bumped into a smaller office. It Matters Not At All.
I still think the cellphone tick is creepy, but you have a point. Emergencies are local, not nationwide. If it's nationwide, we're all dead anyway, and the cell towers got toppled in the blast.
Amy, sorry you're under the weather. Best virus technique: treat the symptoms, because you can't do anything else. Whiskey (preferably brandy) heated with honey dissolved in it. Keep sipping. Get The Three Stooges, or whatever is your favorite mindless entertainment on the computer (big screen, not phone if possible). Keep sipping. Refill. Think of the people who care about you and don't forget to include the idiots who people Doug's site. You seem both bright and nice and don't deserve to feel this crappy. Refill. Don't forget to eat whatever you can eat. Get well and rejoin us.
ReplyDeleteJohn
Without a Speaker of the House, who's goinjg to be in charge of the Biden impeachment and the investigations into his son's laptop? Who's going to coordinate new legislation against gay people and trans people and books and abortions? The crisis is real man.
ReplyDeleteExactly factly.
DeleteSo it's just protocol? If that's all the speaker does then now we get a House with no protocol but how would anyone tell the difference?
ReplyDeleteI was expecting someone would point out the importance and necessity of the job. Being wrong is not uncommon. Nobody's doing that, so I guess we're right and it's all hogwash over a ceremonial post.
DeleteSpeaker of the House isn't a ceremonial position as any student of American government will tell you. I don't have time or the inclination to detail how the House of Representatives works, but Speaker is an important functional position, even when a bunch of clowns are running for it. Ask Nancy Pelosi or Sam Rayburn if you can get ahold of them.
ReplyDeleteJohn
Maybe in a saner era it served some purpose, but it's 2023. Kevin McCarthy sitting in that chair is less functional than a chair that's empty.
DeleteBullshit and nothing but while Repugs are in charge and much more fun when its chaos. I hope they go two months without a speaker.
DeleteWoof woof. Why not two years? To whatever extent it's chaos (and I still don't see it) it's entirely Republican chaos that'll maybe make a few people see that there's no sanity on that side.
DeleteSorry, I was answering the wrong question. If the question was are the Republicans crazy as loons, the answer is yes. I was foolishly asserting that the Speaker of the House has responsibilities defined in the Constitution, in statute law, and mostly in the almost equally crazy House Rules. It's a fairly powerful position in the lawmaking trade.
ReplyDeleteJohn
It's one of the advantages of being a nobody spouting off half-assed opinions. Means I can make snap judgments and incoherent arguments and not know what the hell I'm talking about and nothing stops me flapping my yap. Good times! :)
Delete