Galileo, Gambit, A Game of Death, and a few more films

Gabby Goes Fishing (1941)
Streaming free at Internet Archive

NEVERENDING
FILM FESTIVAL
#283  [archive]
APR. 28, 2024

A kid goes fishing off a pier, and seems to be doing fine, catching plenty, until an old man comes by — Gabby, determined to show the kid his better fishing skills. The kid is long-suffering, and Gabby is insufferable.

This cartoon, directed by Dave Fleisher, is one of a series of 'Gabby' shorts from the '40s. I'm guessing it was originally in color, but the copy I watched was faded to brown-and-tan. No amount of purples and golds could've made it funny, though.

Verdict: NO.

♦ ♦ ♦ 

Galaxina (1980)
Streaming free at Internet Archive

This is a slow, unfunny space comedy about a police ship patrolling the edge of the galaxy. That's about all I could tell you, as watching it made me space out several times. There's not-bad low-budget special effects and a few cool-looking ships and aliens, but the story doesn't want to tell itself, and the dialogue is dumb, which the movie thinks is synonymous with 'funny'.

The nominal stars are Avery Schreiber (you remember him — chubby white comic with a big jewfro) as Captain Butt, and Dorothy Stratton (you remember her — murdered by her husband) as Galaxina the mute robot. 

Verdict: NO.

♦ ♦ ♦ 

Galaxy of Terror (1981)
Streaming free at Internet Archive

This is the two-dozenth Alien rip-off, with an immeasurably tiny fraction of the original's budget and creativity.

Erin Moran, Ray Walston, Zalman King, Robert Englund without fingerknives, Grace Zabriskie, and Sid Haig are in the credits. Absolutely nothing of interest happens for the first half-hour, after which much of little interest happens. 

"Hang on to your shorts. We're gonna dump."

Everything looks cool, though, because pre-famous James Cameron worked on the production design. The ship, the alien planet, and the monster are far better than the yawning story deserves.

Verdict: NO.

♦ ♦ ♦ 

Galileo (1974)
Streaming free at YouTube

"I can't afford to be roasted on a wood fire, like a ham."

This is a biopic for Galileo Galilei, the man with the greatest name until Marky Mark.

Galileo, you might have heard, correctly relocated humanity and the earth from the center of the universe to somewhere in the outskirts, which bothered the Catholic Church.

Based on a play by Bertolt Brecht, the film  covers the broad details of Galileo's life, but it's more interested in the man's ideas, and the concepts of science and integrity and such — even a long conversation about why ice floats.

Topol stars, and makes Galileo loudly lovable. John Gielgud as the Pope is frickin' terrifying in his Trump-like arrogance and stupidity. The film is narrated by a choir of three boys who pop up singing between scenes, and quickly got on my nerves, and there's also a musical scene, of which the less said, the better.

Overall, the film is jolly good, lively and a wonder even in the bleak bits, and intelligent in ways most movies don't try. I'm still laughing at the scene with a bunch of bishops and papal flunkies twirling in circles to mock the notion of planets in orbit.  

Verdict: BIG YES.

♦ ♦ ♦ 

Gambit (1966)
Available on DVD from your local library

Michael Caine and Shirley MacLaine — the stars rhyme, in the kinda clever conman movie.

Playing Nicole, a burlesque dancer, MacLaine is in the movie from its beginning, but says nothing through the first third. It's then revealed that everything we've seen has been a flash-forward, from the mouth and mind of Harry the conman (Caine) explaining the scam he has in mind, which involves MacLaine posing as Caine's wife. Harry is so cocky and self-centered, he's moved her through the description of his plan as if she's a chess piece. 

After that comes the actual scam, with the actual Nicole, who has plenty to say. The movie is lightweight '60s fare, but the story and execution is smooth, and most of it clicks.

Be forewarned that Gambit flunks the standards of modern sensitivity: Ms MacLaine, white as unbuttered popcorn, plays a character who's half-Asian, while British actor Herbert Lom becomes Indian with a fez and a light smear of greasepaint. And introducing Nicole to their mark, Harry says, "May I present my wife?" as if that's her name.  

Verdict: YES. 

♦ ♦ ♦ 

A Game of Chess (2011)
Streaming free at Vimeo

Oh, man, this is fresh. It's a short film, black-and-white and about 20 minutes, that turns a chess game into an astonishing, absurdist ballet. It's by Marcel Dzama, an artist who works mostly with ink and watercolors but also, apparently, dabbles in fabulous films.

Verdict: YES.

♦ ♦ ♦ 

A Game of Death (1945)
Streaming free at YouTube

This is based on Richard Connell's thrilling short story, "The Most Dangerous Game," which has been filmed several times, and it's my intent to see all of them. 

A great safari man and author of books about his hunting exploits survives a shipwreck, and swims bedraggled to the shore of a nearby island. There he finds the home of a secretive, solitary man who's also an accomplished hunter, and wants a more challenging prey.

This version builds tension slowly, perhaps a little too slowly, but it's worth the wait when it gets going. Loses points for subpar greenscreen work. Directed by Robert Wise (The Day the Earth Stood Still). 

Verdict: YES.

♦ ♦ ♦ 

Game of Death (1978)
Streaming free at Internet Archive

This film had been only partially completed when its star, Bruce Lee, died in 1973. It was finished several years later in his absence, and holy crap it sucks. It's about a martial arts movie star who goes into hiding to escape the mob.

To make the film releasable, maybe they had to change the plot, necessitating new dialogue for the Bruce Lee character — is that why he's dubbed? If it's necessary, at least have him dubbed by someone trying to mimic Mr Lee's voice, and leave his real voice intact for his extremely famous grunts and snarls during the fight scenes, but no, even that's been dubbed. It's like having Arnold Schwarzenegger dubbed by Generic White Guy. It's jarring to the ear, and wrong.

The movie is dull, and a lot of it feels like filler. I dunno why we're shown a parade, or the blonde dame singing a song. Lee's fights are too infrequent, and against movie stars, so they're not really major league. 

Features Colleen Camp, Dean Jagger, Gig Young, Chuck Norris, and Kareen Abdul-Jabbar, and the fight between Lee and Abdul-Jabbar is the high point of the film. Music by John Barry, but often used inappropriately, like sweeping vista music for a fight scene. Directed by Lee when he was alive, and by Robert Clouse (Enter the Dragon) after Lee's death. 

And wait, there's still more money to be milked from Lee's corpse: he posthumously stars in the sequel, Game of Death 2 (1980).

Verdict: NO. 

4/28/2024   

• • • Coming attractions • • •     

Gandahar (1987)
Gang War (1958)
The Gang's All Here (1943)
Garden of Eden (1954)
Gargoyles (1972)
Gas, Food Lodging (1991)

... plus schlock, shorts, and surprises

— — —

Now accepting recommendations for movies,
especially starting with the letter 'G'.
Just add a comment, below.

— — —

Illustration by Jeff Meyer. Click any image to enlarge. Arguments & recommendations are welcome, but no talking once the lights dim, and only real butter on the popcorn, not that fake yellow stuff. 

 

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