Gas!
or It Became Necessary to Destroy the World in Order to Save It. (1970)
— YES —
Gas! was directed by Roger Corman, and it’s not great, but it also ain't bad. There’s Bud Cort in a Lidsville hat, hippie Talia Shire, revolutionary Ben Vereen, pregnant Cindy Williams, and Country Joe McDonald as AM Radio. Heavily barbed with 1960s spirit and sarcasm, it offers some genuinely clever moments and dialogue.
Much of the humor is stale and dated, or wasn’t funny fifty years ago either, but some of it’s simply brilliant, like the political confrontation on the golf course between anti-golf radicals and golf-military strategists, or the native Americans celebrating their victory — “We’ve got America back!” Being a hippie at heart myself, I cheered when the counterculture kids took over teaching the school, and you’ve seen nothing like the shootout using movie stars in place of bullets. There are also some unfunny rape jokes, but at least there are no rapes.
“I want to be a cologne.” “Those who fail history are destined to repeat the course.” “A good woman is like a steel brush. Think about it.” I've thought about that last line, and I still don't get it. Everything in the movie is probably better with doobie, but I saw it only under the influence of Brussels sprouts.
♦ ♦ ♦
Hardware (1990)
— NO —
Can you go wrong with a movie that stars Iggy Pop as Angry Bob? Yeah, you sure can.
The movie opens with a Bible quote, and World War III has finished, and in the radioactive deserts a wandering survivor finds a robotic head. There’s pounding rock'n'roll, and Dylan McDermott reading more Bible verses, out loud. It’s not a Christian movie, though — you can tell by the 5-minute unsexy fuck scene while someone’s secretly taking pictures. Half an hour into the movie I still didn’t know what was going on, but the female lead gets out of bed naked and someone’s secretly taking more pictures of her, and at that point I bid adieu to Iggy Pop.
When I was young, I'd almost never walk out on a movie. Once the show started, I was there until the end credits ended and the theater lights came back up, so I sat through a lot of shit. My patience has grown shorter since then, and also, Dylan McDermott is never not annoying.
♦ ♦ ♦
The Last Seduction (1994)
— BIG NO —
Bill Pullman makes some big bucks trafficking pharmaceutical cocaine, Linda Fiorentino steals it from him, and then she runs and he chases. They're smart and despicable, both of them, and it's modern noir, clever and sexy. I was frickin’ loving this movie, right up until it ends with a couple of disgusting plot twists.
Spoilers are against my self-written rule, so I won't say what infuriated me, at least not here in the review. If you're curious, ask and I'll answer in the comments, or just take my word for it. Rarely have I seen such a well-made movie suddenly suicide itself. Save yourself two hours.
The Last Seduction is from John Dahl, who was a hot shot director in the 1990s — he made Red Rock West, which I remember liking. Since the ‘90s he’s worked almost exclusively in episodic TV, and maybe this movie is where his career went south.
♦ ♦ ♦
On Dangerous Ground (1952)
— YES —
And that’s when this movie starts crackling. The rest of the way it never lets up, and it doesn't count as a spoiler to reveal that Ryan finds redemption. Indeed, he’s a good cop in the second half of the movie — but tell that to his victims from the first half. He still should’ve been fired and prosecuted, but instead he gets away with it, same as every cop everywhere, in real life or in the movies.
Ida Lupino is always terrific, and here she plays blind, but the sightless shenanigans don’t add much to the story. Ward Bond is astounding in a supporting role, miles from his ordinary Mr Nice Guy persona.
♦ ♦ ♦
Out of the Blue (1947)
— MAYBE —
Lightly comedic soap opera set in a bustling New York apartment building, with a sit-com style misunderstanding as the backdrop. It could’ve been a ‘YES’ instead of a ‘MAYBE’, but the relentlessly cutesy music insists that you smile, which is annoying. There’s a laugh every ten minutes or so, but it’s not nearly as hilarious as the music thinks it is.
♦ ♦ ♦
When Worlds Collide (1951)
— NO —
A pipe-smoking scientist makes a frightening discovery — a star and planet combo are roaring through space headed directly toward Earth. Slide-rule science reveals that both these celestial bodies will smack into Earth in less than a year. “Our world will end.”
Nobody believes those pointy-headed scientists, and they’re laughed out of the United Nations, so we must rely on selfless or self-centered millionaires to fund construction of spacecraft that might take a few lucky survivors to another world, and hopefully allow our species to spawn and screw up that place, too.
This movie isn’t from Disney, but it feels like it is, and that’s a pity. We’ve seen the regressive response to a relatively minor threat like COVID; imagine the response if it was common knowledge that the world would end on a specific date in the near future. There would be chaos, murder, riots in the street, so When Worlds Collide presents a great opportunity for drama, but it’s 75% squandered.
As disaster draws near, the world’s response is relentlessly polite. Humans are heroic, pulling together. We watch people line up quietly, even smiling, to get their life-or-death lottery numbers, until there's a tiny bit of unrest at the very last moment. And what’s the point of the extended rescue sequences, bringing penicillin to the sick and rescuing a little boy from the floods, when the whole damned planet will be obliterated the day after tomorrow?
All the life-lottery winners are white, so I guess humanity has finally eradicated racism.
♦ ♦ ♦
Youth of the Beast (1963)
(a/k/a Yajû no seishun)
— BIG YES —
Shady and complicated, with drug dealers, pimps, a gay guy (treated respectfully!), and occasional brutality, Youth of the Beast is a raucous drama that seems far fresher than its early 1960s vintage. It feels like Tarantino, only everyone's speaking Japanese instead of tossing around the n-word.
Actually, I am 100% certain Tarantino has seen this film, more than once.
There’s a fabulous gunfight while our hero is hanging upside down from the ceiling, and a couple of brilliant scenes where something’s going on up front, and something completely unrelated is happening in the background. There’s also occasional violence toward women, but not nearly as much as all the violence toward men.
11/24/2021
