homeaboutarchivescommentscontacteverything

The Match

Write Your Own Words #7

This is a long article, reviewing The Match, and also reviewing its author, Fred Woodworth, and my friendship with him. Like much of what I write, it will be of no interest to most people.

If you’d like a TL/DR (“too long, didn’t read”) summary before clicking away, it’s this: The Match is remarkable, and recommended by me. If you're normal, you'll hate it. If you're not, you'll love it. You can get a copy from the address at the bottom of this page.

♦ ♦ ♦

Fred has led a rough and largely solitary life, and he’s published The Match since 1969. He produces it entirely by hand, using old-school typesetting and printing machines. Physically, you have likely never seen a publication like The Match

a random page
from
The Match
(click image to enlarge)

Intellectually, you've probably never read a publication like The Match. Fred has some unusual opinions — he is opposed to the concept of authorities telling us what to do, opposed to government, opposed to religion, and opposed to people who push government or religion.

What doesn’t he oppose? Freedom. 

Fred believes in freedom, and not the cliché of “freedom” spouted by wingnuts and libertarians and Mel Gibson in Braveheart. No, he believes that ordinary people like you and me should have the freedom to do what we wish, so long as we’re harming no-one else.

Most Americans take freedom for granted, and don’t give it much thought. Fred gives it much thought.

He’s an eccentric in other ways, as well: He doesn’t own a computer, has never used one, doesn’t have a website or an on-line presence, doesn’t use email, Twitter, or Facebook, and you can’t buy The Match at his Etsy shop because he doesn’t have an Etsy shop and never will.

♦ ♦ ♦

A disclaimer: As already confessed, Fred is a friend of mine. We’ve never met, but we’ve corresponded over the years, and often our letters have been long, and personal. He knows me better than most in-person friends, and at least as well as anyone in my family. We go way back, so I’m trying to be fair in this article, but I’ll never be impartial. I love the guy.

In the 1990s, I hired Fred to print my zines. After he’d printed perhaps a dozen issues, my life suddenly went to shit, with a rapid confluence of medical, legal, and personal issues. I would’ve been bankrupt, but filing bankruptcy is too expensive — I couldn’t afford it. I owed Fred several hundred dollars for publishing work he’d already done, but I couldn’t pay him, so I didn’t. Didn’t explain it, either. I simply dropped out of Fred’s mailbox, same as I’d dropped out of my high school and my family. Gone.

Stiffing Fred and vanishing instead is one of many things in my life I’m ashamed of, but there it is.

Years went by, and my situation improved. When I could afford to pay the debt, I still didn’t, though, and eventually I convinced myself that Fred must be dead — he’s older than me, and I should be dead — so I let myself forget about the debt.

A few weeks ago, I learned that Fred’s alive, and still publishing The Match. I was whacked with a powerful urge to send for a copy — and to apologize to Fred, pay my damned debt, and eliminate a big blot of embarrassment from my psyche. Life goes in cycles and so does money, and now it’s again a debt I can’t really afford to pay, but I finally did the right thing and paid it anyway. Plus an ample self-assessed surcharge. 

I didn’t keep a copy of what I wrote to Fred when I mailed him the money, but it was something approximating the above. One page, handwritten, maybe 100 words.

Fred being Fred, he replied immediately and at length, with two pages of typewritten, single-spaced text I won’t be reprinting, because I don’t have permission and it’s none of your business anyway. I’ll summarize it, though.

He wasn’t mad at me, and said he’d never been mad at me. For the past 20+ years he’d only wondered and worried about me, because he knew about all the health and legal and financial issues. He’d suspected I was dead or in hiding, and was delighted to hear that I’m alive.

In his letter, Fred told me some of the highlights and lowlights of his life since the 1990s, and asked a few questions about my life. In person, he probably would’ve bought me a beer. He also said thanks for the money, but it wasn’t necessary, and he sent several recent issues of The Match.

So yeah, the man is a mensch. 

♦ ♦ ♦

For as long as I’ve known him, and much longer, Fred always called himself an anarchist, but he’s become disgusted with anarchists who use that label as a trendy gimmick or without really respecting or even understanding what it means. It’s not just a circled-A sticker on your skateboard, kiddo.

Now, The Match has lost the “an anarchist journal” subtitle it had for almost 50 years. It’s just The Match, starring Fred and his opinions — which remain anarchist opinions, only without the a-word.

I’m sure the change came from the heart, and this never occurred to Fred, but it’s probably good marketing, too. After a century of lies, smears, and bullshit propaganda, to most people the word 'anarchist' means a man with a bomb and a lit fuse.

Fred's anarchy is not about blowing stuff up. It’s only about letting people be free.

♦ ♦ ♦

That’s Fred and me. Now, let’s talk about The Match. Specifically, the latest issue, #122, Summer 2021.

Reading through the first copy of The Match I’ve seen in ages, I was disappointed when Fred started with anti-mask, anti-vaccine, and anti-mandate rants. Sigh. I am so damned weary of fools refusing the masks, refusing the vaccine, fighting against common sense and calling it “freedom.”

That's not Fred, but it made me uncomfortable.

He lists numerous incidents where people have had bad reactions to the vaccines, and certainly that's true and unfortunate. It's also ordinary. Some small percentage of humans have allergies or a bad reaction to any medication. If that's your rationale for refusing, you'll also need to refuse aspirin, and all modern medicines and treatments developed since.

Plainly, Fred is wrong about the dangers of the vaccines. On other aspects of COVID, I understand and appreciate Fred's perspective. Often, I think he's right. Often, I think he's wrong. Always, it's an interesting challenge to my preconceptions.

(click image to enlarge)

In one column, Fred distills his COVID opposition to its barest bones. I've reprinted three paragraphs in the sidebar here which I believe captures the gist of his arguments.

Fred is against government mandates, which makes sense for Fred — he's all about freedom, and mandates are the opposite.

You must wear a mask? 

You must quarantine? 

You must close your business? 

You must take a jab in the arm? 

These are extraordinary measures, almost unfathomable for Americans, pre-2020. What the fuck? This Is Not Freedom! is a valid response, especially when it comes from someone who seriously believes in freedom — unlike the QAnon nuts who shout "Muh freedom!" but don't know what the word means.

I'm not an anarchist. In a pandemic, I believe the government's role is to protect public health, and civil liberties may be sidestepped as needed.

Fred is an anarchist, though. He's spent his entire adult life arguing for freedom in virtually all situations, and now that includes COVID. He is consistent, never wavers. Fred is the only person I know who can make a principled opposition to the pandemic mandates, and that response ought to be heard and considered.

Similarly, I'm not too worried about the crackdown on anti-vaccine or other chatter deemed incendiary, on Facebook, Twitter, and other social media I don't read anyway.

Fred is opposed to that, and of course he is. He prints his magazine on his own press because many years ago he took The Match to print shops, and they refused to publish it. Live through that a few times, then teach yourself to operate your own printing press, then spend fifty years repairing ancient equipment because that’s the only way your work can be published, and you bet your ass you'll be pissed off when YouTube yanks thousands of videos, and Facebook squashes countless pages. That's an important perspective to consider.

To be clear: I’m in favor of shutting down such anti-vax and anti-fact sites, up to and including Fox News. I'm also in favor of a robust, fierce debate on the idea. Slippery slopes can be slippery, so I want someone to argue against me — someone like Fred.

Onward, to The Match’s many non-COVID pages — the stuff I agree with 99%, which is most of the magazine. 

The Match’s coverage of police brutality has always been stellar, and in this issue there are some “who the police beat” reports I hadn’t read elsewhere. Fred’s take on the trial of Derek Chauvin is brilliant, and enlightening.

Something I’ve always loved in The Match is Fred’s precise breakdown of bullshit in news coverage. He’ll quote from media coverage of something, almost anything, and unpack the loaded language, restore the actual meanings of the words misused, and show that these allegedly “impartial” journalists are definitely pushing a perspective. Some such reporters don't even know it, I think — it's that thoroughly ingrained in their thinking. Some reporters do know it.

Kent Winslow dissects an alleged anti-racist expert whose writings actually seem kinda racist.

Iris Arnesen writes about life in commie China, and the ridiculous and that government terrifying surveillance, censorship, and ceaseless pressure to keep people in line.

There’s a heartbreaking story of a harmless street person, one of so many living their lives with everything they own in a shopping cart. Fred has seen this guy often, spoken with him occasionally, but the last time he saw him he was being hustled into a quarantined tent city “for his own good,” to protect him from COVID. You just know, someone like that might not survive in such a place. 

Samantha Price writes a dynamite article about The D.I. and Full Metal Jacket, two movies that memorably portrayed the ritual dehumanization and indoctrination of Marines at boot camp, versus the actual facts of boot camp, which are much worse than what's seen in those movies. I’m slightly annoyed, because writing this article has been on my to-do list for years, and suddenly I was reading it instead. Ah, well, it’s better what I would’ve written, anyway.

Ms Price (again) writes a great article puncturing the widespread but unsubstantiated faith in psychiatry and Sigmund Freud. I’ve always wondered why Freud's ideas (and they’re ‘ideas’ much more than they’re ‘science’) were so quickly and widely accepted in America, so I read that article twice.

I R Ybarra writes a funny and magnificent negative review of a book about education, written by a profoundly bad teacher who mistakenly believes he’s a profoundly good teacher. Reading it, I winced for the man’s students.

As always, The Match closes with pages and pages of letters from readers, all worth reading, and some with pithy replies from Fred.

♦ ♦ ♦

The listed price for a copy of The Match is “free,” but unless you’re frightfully poor or in prison, please send some cash with your request. I would suggest five bucks for a single copy, or twenty dollars for a several-issue subscription. 

It has to be cash. Fred doesn’t have a bank account, and without a bank account there’s nothing he can do with a check.

Despite anything you've heard, sending cash through the mail is not a problem. Simply fold a piece of paper around a fivespot, so the green can't be seen through the envelope, and send your address to 

FRED WOODWORTH
PO BOX 3012
TUCSON AZ 85702.
 

And finally, let's run the numbers:

• 52 pages, stapled.
• No ads.
• Prose with b/w illustrations and a color cover.
• Reading time: About 8 hours, spread over a week and a half because I needed to reflect, and sometimes needed to walk away.

I read every word, though. You don't skim The Match.

 9/12/2021

Write your own words

← PREVIOUS          NEXT → 

itsdougholland.com 

← PREVIOUS          NEXT →

Counselor Troi

At work, me and two junior executives talked about Generations, the upcoming Star Trek movie. They say they can’t wait to see the movie.

I can. I can wait a long time.

I’ve always been a Star Trek fan, and been to all the movies on the day they opened. This movie, though, will be the bottom bill at a discount double feature in a month or two, because Star Trek: The Next Generation is taking over the Star Trek franchise.

I never enjoyed the second series as much as the original Trek. Data is fine but he’s no Spock, you know? The first few years of STTNG were so dull and plodding, I stopped watching. The show got better so I came back, but how many times did they bring Q on again and again, when the writers couldn’t think of a decent story to tell?

My biggest complaint, though, is Counselor Deanna Troi. The concept of her is repellent — a thought-patrol agent, searching everyone's minds without a warrant. That’s her job.

And she's not merely scanning aliens' and enemies' minds for signs of treachery, she’s also the ship’s shrink. Everyone’s on the Enterprise is supposed to come to Counselor Troi with their problems. You'd better tell the truth, too, because she knows when you're lying, and knows your emotions, maybe better than you do.

And in addition to oozing herself all over your moods and feelings, she also writes performance reviews for everyone on the crew, which seems like a major conflict of interest for a shrink. Your boss is also your psychiatrist, and walks around between your ears, and always knows whether you're happy, sad, grumpy, in love, or in despair? Uh, beam me down. I'd rather work for Burger King.

This new movie, Star Trek Generations, has one thing going for it, though, and that’s the secret everyone’s known for months — Captain Kirk is supposed to die. William Shatner has always been Star Trek’s weak link, so I’m already applauding Kirk's death scene.

Please, Paramount Pictures — don’t pull a Spock with Kirk. Spock died in Star Trek II, but came back to life in Star Trek III. When Kirk dies, please, keep him dead.

♦ ♦ ♦

The office's main photocopier was fixed yesterday, so today I came in early and stayed late at the office, and got the October issue printed. Sure is convenient that the company has lax security, and never searches my backpack.

After work, with no breaks and no dinner, I did nothing but fold and staple and stuff envelopes, from 5:45 when I got home until 8:51 when my work here was done. Then came two beers, one to celebrate getting the zines out, and one to hold back the mouth pain. I’m already tired of beer, though, so I stirred in cinnamon and sugar. Not recommended.

And all evening long while I was doing the above, an alarm has been sounding down the block. It’s still going. It’s not a car alarm; I have all the car alarms memorized. This is more industrial, more loudly insistent, like a warning that nuclear meltdown is underway. It has three distinct horns, squawking in rhythm and always in the same sequence, and every few minutes it stops ... then starts up again.

I’m eating dinner now. If the alarm is still sounding when I’m done eating, vengeance is mine.

♦ ♦ ♦

You know what’s almost as annoying as hearing that alarm for three hours? I put some raw eggs in Tupperware, and put the Tupperware and a hammer in my backpack, and rode the elevator down … but during the elevator ride the noise finally stopped.

♦ ♦ ♦

There’s a melody from Silk Stockings last Friday, and it won’t stop whistling in my head tonight. Can I egg and hammer that?

From Pathetic Life #6
Wednesday, November 9, 1994

This is an entry retyped from an on-paper zine I wrote many years ago, called Pathetic Life. The opinions stated were my opinions then, but might not be my opinions now. Also, I said and did some disgusting things, so parental guidance is advised.

Pathetic Life 

← PREVIOUS          NEXT →

itsdougholland.com 

← PREVIOUS          NEXT →

Beers with Beatrice

Sometimes people bring snacks or sweet-somethings to work, put ‘em on a counter and everyone shares. Once or twice a month Jennifer bakes cookies. Darla occasionally buys a box of donuts. Peter brought nachos last week. 

I tend to eat more than my share of such snackage, so I bring something too, sometimes. This morning I brought a jumbo-size bucket of prunes. Help yourself. Just about everyone at work is full of shit — I certainly am — so it can’t hurt and might help.

♦ ♦ ♦

The office smelled both mildewy and chemically, because they applied something to the carpet overnight. Neither stink was overpowering, though, and I got to sit in my soft chair again, nice and dry, instead of resting my rear on hard metal.

And then nothing interesting happened all day. The closest to interesting was, while inputting price changes for a long list of panty hose UPCs, I decided to change a line of data from ‘color:flesh’ to ‘color:caucasian’. Dragging the company into the late 1960s, against their will.

♦ ♦ ♦

After work, Beatrice and I finally got together for that long-threatened beer, which was also not interesting. We talked about the election (she cares) and about work (neither of us care), and we had a few light laughs like people are supposed to do, or so I’ve heard. 

It’s hard for me to judge whether it went well, me and her at a bar after work, working at being friends. With minimal social life, I can only compare it to my recent evenings with Kallie, but sorry, Beatrice, but there’s no comparison. With Kallie I'm not nervous, and she seems relaxed, too. I like Beatrice at work, but tonight we were never quite relaxed, always unsure what to say next. Same as with people everywhere, in any social situation, we had nothing much to say. Now I have nothing much to say about having nothing much to say.

I always tip, and tip more than I can afford, but I didn’t tip the bartender when we left. The guy had been nowhere to be found, even though the bar was barely busy, and I had to ask for glasses when we ordered the beer. Like he expected we’d sip it out of the bottle? 

Tell me if my standards are too high. I don’t drink beer much or often, and when I do it’s always straight from the bottle or can. Beatrice is a lady, though, and we were in a bar, not a dive bar but a place with napkins and ashtrays and “Girl from Ipanema” music. Other customers had their booze in glasses. And the biggest clue is, I was dressed — if I’m drinking beer from a bottle, I should be in my underwear and a t-shirt, max.

♦ ♦ ♦ 

The beer did seem to reduce my ongoing mouth pain, though, so after saying good night to Beatrice, I bought four six-packs on my walk home.

♦ ♦ ♦ 

It’s election day, and the polls closed at 8PM, so I had plenty of time to vote, but I didn’t. I never vote. Gave up on that some years back. There is no-one running in this election, or in my lifetime, who’s worth the bother of ten minutes’ effort on a Tuesday night.

Elections are decided by millions, thousands, or occasionally hundreds of votes, but one vote doesn’t matter. It’s like one pebble at the beach. The outcome won't be determined by whether one fat slob sits in his chair picking his nose or walks to the polling place and back.

Anyway, elections are a tragedy, on endless auto-repeat. People who might be able to solve society’s problems don’t run, or if they do, they’re eliminated long before election day. It's always a choice between a dullard possessing 2/3 of a single solitary clue and someone completely clueless. This idiot, or that idiot.

Today's top election is between California's Governor Pete Wilson and his ‘challenger’ Kathleen Brown, but I hate 'em both. Wilson is a millionaire, went to Yale, has been a politician for 25 years and accomplished nothing worth accomplishing. Brown is a high-power attorney, her father and brother were both Governors already, but I don't think the job should be inherited, and she hasn't said anything that convinces me she knows anything.

Is there a clump of kitty litter's difference between Brown and Wilson? They'd both lock me up for the disapproved vegetation in my cigarette. If it’s my “third strike,” they'd both agree I should be locked away for life. Wilson, being a Republican, would keep me in prison an extra ten years after I’m dead and call it 'punitive damages', but that difference isn't worth the small hassle of casting a ballot.

Screw ‘em both. Screw the elections, and screw everything that's wrong with America that nobody running for office intends to fix. I try not to give this country, or this world, a moment’s thought, but when I do I want to cry, more than I want to vote.

From Pathetic Life #6
Tuesday, November 8, 1994

This is an entry retyped from an on-paper zine I wrote many years ago, called Pathetic Life. The opinions stated were my opinions then, but might not be my opinions now. Also, I said and did some disgusting things, so parental guidance is advised. 


Addendum, 2021: My feelings about voting haven't changed, really. My marvelous wife always voted, though, and usually I accompanied her, so when we became a couple I began voting again. I've voted in every election, big or small, since 1997.

I vote not because it matters, but because it’s fun voting against Republicans. And because my wife wanted me to.

Pathetic Life 

← PREVIOUS          NEXT →

itsdougholland.com 

← PREVIOUS          NEXT →

Seven more movies

There are so many good movies out there — a hundred years of old movies, plus thousands of odd or artsy, foreign or forgotten or DIY movies made just for the joy of making 'em — that if you only watch whatever's on Netflix or playing at the twentyplex, you're missing out. 

All these films are streaming for free and without commercials, if you have a good adblocker. Sites like Putlocker are torrent indexes, and thus legally questionable, so experts recommend using a VPN.

Assassin of Youth (1938) — NO — Marijuana is bad, m’kay? So’s the movie. This is a famous anti-marijuana propaganda drama, and from its reputation and ridiculous poster, I was hoping for camp and laughs, but I didn’t do any chuckling. Maybe it's just me, but I found it all profoundly sad. The moral panic here is obvious bullshit, but people believed it, people still do, lives were ruined, and it’s still happening.

You want camp? Watch Ru Paul's Drag Race.

 

Blonde Ice (1948) — NO — Usually in noir, the femme fatale is discreet about her femme fataleness, but not this dame. Mere minutes after her wedding in the opening scene, she’s making out with an ex on the balcony. Soon she’s cheating, her husband says he’s divorcing her — and then he’s dead. Did she do the deed, or was it one of the several men who’d been sniffing around her?

Leslie Brooks (never heard of her before) is terrific in the lead, as a woman who doesn’t seem to know what she wants but is willing to do anything to get it. “You’re not a normal woman. You’re cold, like ice. Blonde ice.” Thought I’d stumbled across something special with this movie, and it certainly starts strong, but it soon becomes tedious, and then gets dumber and dumber toward the end. 

 

Borrowed Hero (1941) — BIG NO — This starts as a comedy, spirited but not particularly funny, about a dim attorney and his newspaper-woman girlfriend. They're the kind of movie-couple who are always peeved at each other, but it’s never clear why. Is that funny?

When the plot finally gets underway, the movie becomes a drama. There's a big political scandal, the dim attorney is appointed special prosecutor, and he proves himself to have a primitive sense of justice, threatening to kill a man who’s hesitant to talk.

I liked the bad guys better. At least they know they’re the bad guys.

 

The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951) — BIG YES — There’s a flying saucer approaching Earth, and it touches down on a softball field outside Washington DC. A lanky man in a spacesuit emerges from the craft, bearing a gift for the American President, but — oops — he makes a sudden move, so of course the strange visitor is shot. Welcome to America!

The movie is an hour and a half of delightful little moments, as the outer-space newcomer, Klaatu (Michael Rennie), gets to know our puny planet. Meanwhile, Gort, his giant robot companion, stands guard outside the spaceship, unmoving and unmovable, and ready to raise his visor and obliterate the earth if things go wrong. Special effects are minimal, but in any good story it’s the writing that matters, and it's excellent. “Get that message to Gort, right away.”

My wife and I agreed on almost everything, including our taste in movies, but this was one of our rare disagreements. Both times I tried to share TDTESS with her, she was bored silly.

I will therefore issue a warning: Stylistically the movie is dated, and since it’s set and was made in the 1950s, the acting and assumptions are of that rather quaint era. Most of the humans here would be at home on The Andy Griffith Show, and indeed, Frances Bavier (Aunt Bee) has a featured role. Several famous news personalities of the time make cameo appearances, which will mean little or nothing to anyone born in the past 50 years.

To me, it’s an intriguing think piece, straightforwardly told, with some funny dialogue and goosebump-raising moments — a fine piece of science fiction, which I've seen perhaps twenty times. If it puts you to sleep, well, that would make my wife happy. She dearly loved being right about things, and she usually was.

Also, please don’t mistake this for an unnecessary and inferior movie with the same title, starring Keanu Reeves. 

Memorable moments:
    • Gort’s first appearance
    • Klaatu’s meetings with a White House political emissary
    • Arlington National Cemetery
    • Visit with Professor Barnhart
    • The day the Earth stood still
    • "Klaatu barada nikto."

 

The Devil Bat (1940) — MAYBE — This is about a small-town doctor who has an interesting hobby involving bats and shaving cream. Starring Bela Lugosi and nobody else you’ve ever heard of, it’s typical mad scientist fare, with a story that’s enjoyably ludicrous, though it becomes bland whenever Belosi is off-screen. 

It could be fun if you like this sort of thing. I like this sort of thing, but it’s minor league Lugosi, and nothing special. The most imaginative element is that when they’re flashing the inevitable montage of “Devil Bat” newspaper headlines, the shadow of a bat is superimposed on-screen.

I’ve seen so many Lugosi films, though, I was creeped out from the start, just hearing him give routine doctor's advice in that infamous Transylvanian accent.

 

The Lady Vanishes (1938) — MAYBE — It’s by Hitchcock, and I usually like Hitchcock, but I abhorred the first half hour of this — set at a crowded hotel filled with endless hubbub and colorful (read: aggravating) characters. A debonair but boorish man (Michael Redgrave) makes a ruckus in the hotel and then intrudes on a lady’s room, it’s all played for laughs, and I very nearly clicked it off.

Then the movie turns around and becomes a worthwhile mystery, when a few of the characters take a train trip, and a woman on the train disappears. Margaret Lockwood is good in the lead, and May Whitty is a hoot and a half as the vanishing lady. Unfortunately, the boorish Redgrave is on the train, too, cracking unfunny jokes, being movie-debonair, and annoying the fresh hot shit out of me. Hitchcock is Hitchcock so everything else is marvelous, but I wanted to climb into the movie and kick Redgrave off the train.

 

The Wicker Man (1973) — BIG YES — I saw this movie when I was young, and I’d remembered it as an effective thriller, but not as anything particularly special. Perhaps the point of it all flew right over my head at 19, or perhaps I “got it,” but thought there were other movies like it. There are none. The Wicker Man stands alone. It's an unusual movie with an unusual point. It's also terrifying.

Edward Woodward (young here, but best known to Americans as TV’s The Equalizer when he was much older) stars as police Sgt Ed Howie. He’s a detective from the mainland, sent to investigate reports of a missing girl on the remote Scottish island of Summerisle.

There are odd but not unpleasant folk songs from the start of the movie, bland enough to become background music, until they’re not. All the townsfolk seem ordinary, until they’re not, and nobody recognizes the detective’s photo of the missing girl, until they do. When there’s a complaint about an inedible meal at a restaurant, the waitress answers, “Food isn’t everything in life, you know,” and you realize something is odd in Summerisle.

One oddity is that it’s an island without cars, apparently, or at least none are seen in the film. More pertinent, though, is that it’s an island without Christ. There's culture shock for Sgt Howie, and for the audience, in going from the movie’s opening scene — the familiar communion rites, in a Christian church — to a place where Jesus never quite caught on. Sgt Howie is a devout Christian, and the film treats his religion respectfully. The islanders’ beliefs are also treated respectfully.

Christopher Lee has a supporting role as Lord Summerisle, a title akin to being the town’s mayor. I’ve seen Lee in at least fifty films, but never seen him having such a good time! He smiles hugely and happily, and it’s not only the character smiling. Lee said he was paid nothing for the role, because he loved the script and his ordinary fee would’ve devoured much of the movie’s budget. He also said that he considered this the best film of his career, and he’s right.

Two thoughts before lowering the curtain: ① For best effect, don’t watch this on your cellphone, mini-tablet, or wristwatch TV. The Wicker Man should be seen on your largest screen, with the lights out and the phone switched off. And ② please don’t mistake this for an unnecessary and inferior movie with the same title, starring Nicolas Cage. 

Memorable moments:
    • “The Landlord’s Daughter”
    • Lord Summerisle’s commentary on slugs
    • Just like when I was a kid, the boys and girls have separate sex ed classes
    • Medicinal frog
    • Lord Summerisle and Sgt Howie discussing religion
    • Protected by the ejaculation of serpents
    • Britt Ekland knocking on the wall
    • Sgt Howie at the library, unraveling the faith and facts of the matter
    • “Think what you’re doing! Think!”
    • and other things best not mentioned.

 9/10/2021

Movies, movies, more movies

← PREVIOUS          NEXT → 

itsdougholland.com 

← PREVIOUS          NEXT →

Fuck you, Jim Harrison.

There were garbage bags draped over all the computer terminals in the office, and my first thought was that the company was out of business. But no, they would’ve shut the elevators off. 

Remember the rain all day on Saturday? Well, it rained where I work, too, and the store’s roof is no more waterproof than the waterlogged roof of my rez hotel. Water, water everywhere, and I don’t work on the top floor of the department store. There are two floors above me — executive offices and some messy storage areas — so I assume and certainly hope they were flooded even worse than my area.

The carpet was soggy, the chairs were smelly, and it dripped so much on the photocopier that it was out of order, so I couldn't copy my zine. And yet, we were open for business, with big fans set up to blow wet stinking air all around, and we sat in uncomfortable folding metal chairs while our wet chairs were upside-down and drying out. 

It was at least interesting, unlike most days at the office. 

♦ ♦ ♦

What's the toxicity level is for aspirin? I am swallowing three orange enteric-coated tablets every hour or so, the keep the toothless pain subdued, now that all the stronger stuff the dentist prescribed is gone. 

Nobody called me back, from the messages I left at the dentist’s office and at Kaiser-Permanente. I called the dentist’s office, and spoke to whoever answered the phone, because, “Dr Dentist does not talk to patients on the phone unless it’s an emergency.”

She wouldn’t believe it’s an emergency, and told me the same things she'd told me when I called on Friday — my pain is perfectly normal, she said; it’s not unusual that the two tooth extractions are healing differently, she said; it’s normal for disgusting crud to ooze out of the wound, she said. What I said was, “You don’t really give a damn, do you?” 

It is visually obvious that my mouth is infected, so why can’t I just walk into a drug store and buy an antibiotic? Why am I required to get a prescription from the dentist, who caused the infection, and who seems to pay people to keep me from talking to him? He probably wants me to come in and see him for whatever that costs, before he’ll let me have an antibiotic.

♦ ♦ ♦

Did some rush-rush work for Babs, and some unrelated rush-rush work for a junior exec. Babs is my boss’s boss, so I cleared everything off my desk and my morning and did what she wanted to do. Didn’t make a pip. The junior exec, though, isn’t in my chain of command, plus I’ve assessed him as almost human, so I unloaded a little:

“Four people used to do the work I do now, and if you need something ‘rush-rush’ you’ll have to hire a few of them back, or take a number and wait your turn, because Babs outranks you so I gotta do her crap first.”

♦ ♦ ♦

Another example of how stupidly this company is run:

Carlotta has been working in our group for a week now, but the suits in charge still haven’t given her access to any of the programs we use on the computer. It's not intentional, it's incompetence. Darla tells me, "We're working on it," but what's the point of bringing her on board if she's not able to work?

We’re sort-of training her by having her sit beside us and watch us work, but we’re way, way past the maximum she can learn from that, without ever clicking her own keyboard and looking at her own screen. I was working on my own by my first afternoon here, and I assume Carlotta is smarter than me. Most people are. But we have her doing dummy-work, stuff so unimportant that we sometimes simply trash it when it’s stacked too tall.

♦ ♦ ♦

I found today’s Chronicle in the pooproom — the paper is now being published by management and strikebreakers — and saw the front page long enough to absorb just one headline: A striker was killed, electrocuted, while trying to disconnect the power at one of the papers’ distribution centers. This was reported “by Jim Harrison, Chronicle staff writer.”

Fuck you, Jim Harrison. 

I’m not even a big union man, really. Office flunkies have no union.

When I hear about a strike, though, any strike anywhere, that's all I need to know. Do you root for Goliath? No. Nobody walks away from their paycheck on a whim, so if workers vote to strike, any workers, any strike, I’m on the strikers’ side.

It's damned low to be a strikebreaker, a scab, unless you're starving to death, and maybe even then. Being a scab with your byline on the front page, reporting the death of a worker who was trying to keep you, Jim Harrison, from taking his job? That's major league low. 

I would not want to be Jim Harrison, Chronicle staff writer. He should meet a few Teamsters on a cloudy, moonless night.

♦ ♦ ♦

With a never-ending toothache and a new bottle of aspirin in my backpack, I BARTed to the Roxie for a cheap 1960s exploitation double feature, but both movies surprised me. I was expecting enjoyable schlock, but the first movie was quite good and the second was better.

The Shame of Patty Smith (1961) is that she’s pregnant, doesn’t want to be, and abortion is illegal. She goes to her doctor, a balding man who calls all women “child,” and gets a lecture on the law. She goes to church and gets a wide-eyed sermonette from the priest. Finally, she makes a phone call to someone who knows someone who might be able to arrange an abortion, if she can pay an outrageous price. It’s a chilling look at a time some cruel bastards want to return to, when police detectives from the abortion squad arrested doctors, and every pregnant woman was required by law to give birth.

It Won’t Rub Off, Baby (a/k/a Sweet Love, Bitter) is about race relations circa 1968, and I’m not sure much has changed yet. Against a backdrop of drugs, booze, and beautiful jazz, Dick Gregory and Don Murray forge a friendship. Gregory’s character is a sax player with a heavy drug habit, clearly a riff on Charlie Parker, and Murray plays a college prof intent on drinking himself to death after the death of his wife. This movie is tough, realistic, and relentlessly depressing. Hard to watch but I’m glad I did. Excellent music, too.

From Pathetic Life #6
Monday, November 7, 1994

This is an entry retyped from an on-paper zine I wrote many years ago, called Pathetic Life. The opinions stated were my opinions then, but might not be my opinions now. Also, I said and did some disgusting things, so parental guidance is advised.

Pathetic Life 

← PREVIOUS          NEXT →

itsdougholland.com 

← PREVIOUS          NEXT →