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• StephMemorial •
Punishment Park, and six more movies
Cleopatra without Elizabeth Taylor, and six more movies
Yesterday's mother
Bodega daydreams
Skin Game, There Are No Fakes, and five sucky movies
Rock-bottom prices
The news on TV
The toaster, the microwave, and the smoke alarm
"Out out out, please."
Nakano Spy School, and six more movies
Huckleberried alive
Interruption machinesIntentional rats
Free human dignity. Come and get it.
City Lights, Junebug, and five other movies
One fine day on the C
The facts of unsalted butter
The Quiller Memorandum and six more movies
Party of eight
A tale of two burgers, one which wasn't and another which was
Please make payment in full.
Rockin' Metropolis, Trouble in Paradise, and five other movies
Poop and television
Allergic to garlic
Out of talk
Manfish and Primer, and 5 or 6 more movies
Fat walking
Two books I don't recommend
Our fifth flatmate
An Angel at My Table, and six more movies
At the Screaming Baby Library
Adios, Unusualia.Well, half a damn, maybe.
Mildly mentally illNo cream cheese left behind
Bullshit, and bite me.
27 minutes
Astounding journeys, $2.75
Meet the flatmates
Ruby'sMy great escape
The Sheridan misconception
Slumber party
A crappy update, maybe once weekly
Big sky country
24-hour toe service
Letters, we get letters
Seattle or bust
People's Park
Refusing to prosecute Trump is a political act.
North Beach and Berkeley
Ground rules for my family
Satisfaction
The damage deposit
She saw the rest of me
No vampires allowed
A known commodity
May I be briefly and predictably grumpy?Good corporate citizenship?
Her magic wand
Room wanted
AshesTrendy cookies
Drag for every persuasion
A crowded apartment
A shoebox of pitchers
Luke something: something
How I spent my summer vacation, part 4
How I spent my summer vacation, part 3How I spent my summer vacation, Part 2
How I spent my summer vacation, Part 1
Too many jackets
Inner journey before the flightQuestions from Quartz
Breakfast, bums, and fish
Douglas shruggedKeep your distance, keep your masks.
Not-quite connecting with another human
Working on Saturday
A cacophony of noneTo the tune of the 1812 Overture
One last argument
Our Daily BreadEasier than wrapping paper
Nothing left to say
Steph's letter to IsthmusN-words out the window
Love letter on an index cardInfectious ride to Venice
Mongolia to the rescue!Donuts
She's on every shelf.And to think that I saw it on Market Street
Prodigal son, and all thatSound vibes
Field of Dreams, and six more movies
The lawyer and the landlord
Things usually work out, until they don't.
23 trains to nowhere
Breakfast at the Diner — #56A loud love story
Invalid baptismsGrandma-sitter
An accidental assGrand Central Station
The Lair of the White Worm, and six more moviesSaturday on the sidewalk
"Let's keep in touch."The future, revealed
A perfect shitstorm
A call I won't return
Help, Help, the Globolinks!, and six more movies
Basic drag
It's as easy as that.
The cape that wears me
That wacky old dude, ha-ha.
A correction-pen
Patterns, and six more movies
Still a stranger
Tennyson, anyone?
Guest host
Out of work
Wind and shadows
Weak weed
Ah, April
Out of business
Subject: Remember this?Head-over-heels in hate
Riding with my dead brother
Square dance and auld lang syne
Model Minority, and six more moviesPlease do not publish my name.
Visit to a previous life
Call it history instead."Make do."
Grey Rabbit
The Twinkie offense
Unexpected good newsOne sentence more than I want
Shadowlands, and six more movies
"I'm a little short on the rent."
Trump for Dummies
Beauty technologyManifest stupidity
Barge Chilling BeachBill
The Fundamental Fuck-UpNothing unusual so far
TubthumpingLess money, more happy
Rectuma, and six more
Check engine
One good, one bad, and questions in between
It's gonna get way worse.Four minutes to Van Ness
How to create terrorists
A cruel and monstrous god
Breakfast at the Diner #55Loud Day
Do the right thing.Just a kiss
Trump's obituaryRich dunderhead, poor dunderhead
What Republicans fear11½ hours
Station Eleven, and six moreWelcome to Aquatic Park
Not a pretty viewAt the Oscars
Murder on El CaminoLooking the other way
The next COVID variantShall we dance?
Phobias and mental and emotional malfunctionsForgotten men and street people
Seven moviesCold
Breakfast at the Diner #54No real complaints
Peace and loud quietBlowing stuff up
No more New YorkerItsy-bitsy spiders
Same as me
A day off-planet
Effort and patience and generic dish soapGunshots and irony
Seven moviesCastro Street
Mustard toastPoop and other shit
Smooth afternoonEnough
Some links, a few stories
Calcutta at the library
The Christmas partyThe memory box
Someone to vote for"Why do you keep calling?"
Nearly a poop disasterSidewalk stories
On the loading dockSeven more movies
This makes my face smiley.The voice in my head
Ridiculous manBreakfast at a different diner
Defeated by a poetThe boy upstairs
The best Christmas everA key and a phone
Cranky old manSeven maybe movies
The view from a different windowPike
Without the SouthThe shop with two names
Long goodbyes
A fifty dollar day!
The ethics hotlineA communist plot or something
Seven more moviesCall it macaroni.
Old lady-friendsSticky
Because I'm an ass
Flirting by mail
Even stupider than I’d thought
Wishing I was somewhere else
Expect less from me.
And there goes Kevin
Seven more moviesMy favorite maniac
Sayōnara, Roe v Wade.I'll do anything legal for $5 an hour.
“Who from what?”
Emergency room
Walk away.
Things could get dicey.
Long odds
Officer Frenzy
Pork, beef, and leather spiesCoach
Seven more moviesFutility Enterprises
“The topic tonight is the hippies."Less of me
Salad bar scienceNot-date after not-work
It happened, though.
Kallie's freakout
Pastor Bill and the Chirping BirdsA tale of two e-mails
To be human is to be a dumbshit.Gray
On the phone with MomSeven more movies
Masturbation conversationSix and a half samurai
Don't dis the workers.
Chinese at the bus stationA long talk without talking
Doug's proper office protocol
Hate Man
Lies from Disney
Seven more moviesSurrealist warships
My favorite poop, and other monuments
The 'rally'
Blowing bubbles at 36Thanks for being there, you.
The answer, of course, is everything.A visit to Wal-Mart
BeccaCalling 9-1-1
A jumbo jet without wingsNot among the P's
Seven more moviesJennifer's nuts
Zeke's worries
(observed)
Stupid headline, good articleOwning the city
Rhymes with eyesThe twins are gone.
Introductions all aroundTrying to be zen
Nine is too many.Momma's little boy
Mouse joustHawn chobs
Memo from the island
6 foot 11
Seven more moviesMark of the beast
Reverse sonderingFractional-friends
Goodbye, FastCompany
The so-so book
Cheesy tomato cukes
One person can make a difference!The Finer Diner
They almost got me.Mr Patel and the pud
Seven more moviesAn offer
Make it loud.A Satanic curse
Who is John Galt?A little low-level harassment
A Monday without optimism
Technical difficulties
Yvette and BobbyFlattening three things
My Special K pinch
My penis burns with a flaming itch.
Bonus diatribe
Bad science
The Lollipop GuildA dream untold
Oh, you want to talk politics?
Seven more movies
Annoying Jenn
Very bad writingNote on the door
Shut the heck up.
Chia kangaroo
Even if you're never been there, you've been there.
Everybody abuse
The House, at the endThey need a little more time.
The House, at the beginningAnd so this is Christmas.
Seven more movies
Black Beauty
Unexpected physics
Cancer got me this job.Mr & Mrs Wealth
Only the good die young.
Not today
5 simple rules for work
No sick leave for workers
Holiday pizza
George becomes Stanley
Next, could someone please sue Microsoft?
Pickle barrel man
Nothing to complain about
Saturday, December 17, 1994
Hey, space aliens, take me, too.
An abortion by mail
Where's Jackie Chan's forehead?
How could I not do this?
A call from HR
Seven more movies
A nervous lunch
This will be uninteresting.
Family, friends, and a stranger
Joycelyn Elders & Gimme Shelter
Bimbo man
The meaning of Christmas
Come in from the cold.
No kissing, please.
One undeniable fact
A lot of us lead pathetic lives.
Henrietta
Seven more movies
Solidarity
“This ain’t that kind of hotel, toots.”
Sawdust
Is Jonathan Franzen the greatest writer who's ever written?
Chains on my ankles, again.
Still waiting
Don't be a putz like George Bailey.
"Happy girl!"
Breakfast at Tad's
Benzene on my balls
A serious woman
Witty quips, lies, half-truths and more lies, setups, put-downs, and still more lies
A zen experience
“The movies are your mistress.”
Seven more movies
No pooping, no peeing.
Shush
Mrs Edwards' Coffee Shop
A cockroach in captivity
Unanswered questions
Seven more movies
The web, before giant corporations took control
In living color
A new innovation
Thank you, nobody.
Taqueria El Castillito
Fever started long ago
Poop ticket
Walt Disney’s Wonderful World of Bras
Still life on paper
Song on the radio
Seven more movies
Bum vs Lady
No longer friends
"I'm not going to die here."
"Do you smell smoke?"
Seven more movies
$2 plastic pinchy picker-upper
Always on the balcony
Carlotta cries
Whale caroms
Denise at 22
Loogie unhocked
“If” there are layoffs
“You won't be forgotten.”
A friend
A library card
The MatchCounselor Troi
Beers with Beatrice
Seven more movies
Fuck you, Jim Harrison.
One fine day at the grocery store
And there goes Dad.
Codeine and doobie
Breakfast at the Diner — #52
Soggy and hurting
Medical defense
Tooth trouble
Our Confederate dead
Kissing myself
I don’t even understand the question.
Pulling teeth
4th of July picnic
The family
Visit to Seattle
Union Corners
Why so ordinary?
Seven more zines
Last train of the night
The party house
Marijuana, LSD, and Tootsie Pops
Can a fat guy survive the summer without air conditioning?
Inside the Rainbow
Breakfast at the Diner — #51
Slugged a guy
Music in a bad mood
How to lose friends and annoy strangers
My brother, and my other brother
Bumbling at Civic Center
The floating bridge
Not in the mail
Seven more movies
Won't you please help?
51 nights in Waco, Texas
Drug deals at work
Suspicious of the broccoli
The end table
Seven more zines
Secret words
Haight Street scene report
The sign on the door
And there goes Margaret.
Blush and eyeliner
Tweaker at the store
Nothing happened.
Seven more movies
“Good morning, Darla.”
And there goes Stu.
The break room
Eventually it gets boring.
Seven more zines
Uh-oh, he's ranting.
That's what freedom is.
"We all miss Charlie."
The opposite of Catholic
The company
The Babs-and-Darla-Edict
Seven more movies
"Please call me."
Pickle dogs
Singalong with Kallie
Seven more zines
An inappropriate workplace conversation
God and guns
Miserable Douchebag, Part 19
Gus and Stan
Blue Angels, my ass.
The office flunky you're looking for
B-movie star
Good luck
Slob manifesto
Seven more movies
The city at night
News without nonsense
Very very frightening
Seven zines
The music of the night
T minus five months
Underwear, batteries, and beans
Radical laundry
She didn't even say "Uh."
My busy social calendar
Algiers (1938)
A fuse burns out
Seven more movies
Is Ken Kesey cuckoo?
Self-improvement
On the nose
The Rose Bud Movie PalaceA message to management
My grandmother's grandparents“More human than human, is our motto.”
Infinite flies"Leave the gun. Take the cannoli."
Never in bluejeans
Seven movies
The King is coming!
Screw the rotting corpse of Billy Graham.
Habit, not hungerDouble doublecross
555-0123Stupidity
Close to the marginsSoul cancer
Science fiction double feature
Letter from San Francisco
"They gave their lives for their country."
Old noir and science fictionMoney diet
That girl at summer camp
This blog is a zine.
Pina colada and nachos
Film noir, sci-fi, and tartar sauce
Shudder
Fall on the rock
I hate writing.
Location # 181
Ignorant assumptions
Breakfast at the Diner — #50
You've got a friend."Is there anything else you want us to know?"
Seven womenThe 4th of July, 2020
Jeff Koyen of CrankPlease adjust your fine tuning.
Me and Norma ShearerDrunken Master
A copy of your copy?
Breakfast at the Diner — #4916 crumpets
Anti-Karma
On the 8th floorRepublicans' Disease
Now playing at The Strand
The Vientiane Palace A pretty good day before dust
"You folks lost?"
Nobody's shrink or guru
Memo to Management
1:39
The New Yorker
Incident at Walgreens
Conversation in the cafeteria
The Workplace Improvement Committee
Breakfast at the Diner — #48
"Welcome to Netscape!"
Breakfast at the Diner — #47
Links and leftovers
Breakfast, lunch, and dinner with Mom
Hope you like orange.
Somewhere in Time (1980)
Breakfast at the Diner — #46
Oh, look. It's crocodiles again.
You may tell yourself, this is not my beautiful house.
The Sincere Cafe
Breakfast at the Diner — #45
Scary women
Brainstorm (1983)
Time and Again (book report)
The Ghost Writer (2010)
Breakfast at the Diner — #44
"They're coming for your guns!"
Man of La Mancha (1972)
Yes, we have no children.
Blender the secret cat
This is a pep talk for myself, but you're welcome to listen in.
Letters to the editor
Middle-school talent show
Breakfast at the Diner — #43
The Tenderloin at midnight
The shared shelf
Breakfast at the Diner — #42
A few fewer churches
Call it the blues
Breakfast at the Diner — #41
I did it, and got away with it.
Black-and-white double feature
Breakfast at the Diner — #40
The meaning of pi
This is not a paid advertisement.
Breakfast at the Diner — #39
Pretend you're Sam Donaldson
One absolute truth
Good thinking, boss.
Breakfast at the Diner — #38
An unhappy ending
Almost done
Breakfast at the Diner — #37
Upstairs neighbor
My crappy job that just got crappier
"Hello, Rebecca."
Breakfast at the Diner — #36
A day without pants
Lunch with the doomed
That magnificent deuce
Breakfast at the Diner — #35
Zines and movies are all I got
Van dreaming
Breakfast at the Diner — #34
Return to sender
We're not Nazarenes.
Late night justice
Breakfast at the Diner — #33
When You Reach Me (book)
Penelope
I'll have a cocktail, please.
Breakfast at the Diner — #32
Sidewalk pinball
And there goes Ralph.
And there goes Bruno.
323 pounds of me
Breakfast at the Diner — #31
We're walking here
The camera can't be uninstalled.
Performance review
Call me Karen.
Breakfast at the Diner — #30
Daily Drama Queen
The mumbling man and me
Monitoring my monitor
Breakfast at the Diner — #29
Any bolt or sprocket
Izzy the rescue cat
Stop, stand, and wait.
More mumbles and less Maggie
Breakfast at the Diner — #28
“It doesn’t want to drop, huh?”
"Don't make me go."
Me and the man upstairs
Planning for retirement
Breakfast at the Diner — #27
What do you have in you?
Plans for the weekend
How to make friends and pick up chicks
Breakfast at the Diner — #26
Jackie Chan double feature
Free cannoli and cheesecake
Breakfast at the Diner — #25
Gobsmacked
Hello neighbors. You are loved.
God is love (some restrictions may apply)
Breakfast at the Diner — #24
Just one question
The grass is greener
Drop it
Breakfast at the Diner — #23
Smells like San Francisco
"You have to put yourself out there."
Breakfast at the Diner — #22
A neighbor knocks
Out of the ordinary
Looking out the window of the train
Breakfast at the Diner — #21
A weighted blanket
My dinner with Agnes
Breakfast at the Diner — #20
Not drunk, not disorderly, just ... lost
No words
Me and my brother
Breakfast at the Diner — #19
Ah, to be young again
Belching and scratching my 'nads
You are cordially invited.
"Briefly Noted"
Breakfast at the Diner — #18
Aren't you proud to be an American?
Sure, I'll embarrass myself by posting this.
Mom's visit
Outsource this.
Third cubicle on the left
Breakfast at the Diner — #17
I am not downloading an app to buy a candy bar.
That's a wrap.
Uvula, uvula, uvula.
Breakfast at the Diner — #16
Touched
I'm not going anywhere, ever.
Breakfast at the Diner — #15
An old man babbles about a newspaper
Heads up about ExpressVPN
"Call us if it gets worse."
Breakfast at the Diner — #14
Laziness learned from my father
Chopping onions without tears
Lights out at the Strand
What's Love Got to Do with It
Breakfast at the Diner — #13
Never do a stranger's laundry
Our song
I'm not insulting you.
But ... if the schools are closed, who's gonna beat me up?
Breakfast at the Diner — #12
A gentleman doesn't discuss such things.
The pursuit of happiness
Physically incapable
Breakfast at the Diner — #11
Simply sondering
Spare change?
Nuts
Most peculiar, Mama
Breakfast at the Diner — #10
Clearly, someone has a hot plate.
Getting your act together
Breakfast at the Diner — #9
Six movies in two days
A security issue with Zoom
My deepest, darkest secret
Breakfast at the Diner — #8
Reduce your cell phone bill by 100%
Say something nice.
Breakfast at the Diner — #7
Maggie
Things to love about COVID-19
An elevated throne
Breakfast at the Diner — #6
Happy birthday to me. x
Perfect popcorn
Zero-cost hair-care
Breakfast at the Diner — #5
Vacuum cleaners
Endorsed by Louis Armstrong
Breakfast at the Diner — #4
Doc Bronner's soap
Actually, you DO want to give me your Social Security number.
Breakfast at the Diner — #3
Long distance is the next best thing to not being there.
Write notes to yourself.
Eulogizing Elvis
Breakfast at the Diner — #2
So I bailed.
This is the stupidest thing I've seen since yesterday.
Fun with cockroaches
Breakfast at the Diner — #1
A movie that changed my life
Acme Amalgamated
Brush your teeth, kids.
The 'secret menu' at fast-food restaurants
Bedbugs
Books, cheap
Yes, you CAN run away from your problems.
$20 for a spare toilet
Life advice from a high school dropout
You can ring my bell.
A stupid and pointless story
It's the landlord's problem
You don't want cops as neighbors.
They / Them / Their
I finally got Beaned
Bun Man
$50,000 for Donald Trump
The Man from Earth (2007)
The day I became lazy
Picnic for one
Quark
Ten ideas for a better America
When your dreams exceed your budget
My new bidet — $15.49
More things that are bullshit
"So I changed my life."
Lost Horizon (1973)
Helpful hint for dieters
... like tears in rain
Out of the Past (1947)
Kansas City Confidential (1952)
Abortion in the Bible
Shower thoughts
Twenty years or less, is my guess
Slack
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956 and 1978)
Things that are bullshit
Corporations are a problem we can solve.
Welcome to western civilization.
Giving socks
Canceling the cable
The last rites
Going through the motions
