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Breakfast at the DinerCompany Culture
Cranky Old FartNeverending Film Festival
Not complete crapPathetic Life

50¢ worth of crime

 Bus luck

Henry Fool, and six more movies

"The Bill of Rights is mostly bullshit."

Mysteries of the dumpster

Playing in the rain

Straight Time, and six more movies

A big fat failure 

Man down

Scrabble and Running

Rope, and six more movies

February 13

Gerry goes to jail



Two great movies, four good movies, and one crappy movie

Mr Menthol

The old church

Seriously wrong

Cheeseburger, fries, and salad

Wishing her the very best

Yes, God, Yes, and six more movies


Remembrances in the rain

Silent Running, and six more movies

Stop lying to me.

Graham cracker slumgullion

The dancer and the driver

Intruder alert

Rififi, and six more movies

Midget and Stickman

Quite a lot of food

Forbidden, and six more movies

An invitation to tea

The people in charge

Inquiries and investigations


Dolls, and six more movies

Goodbye, damn it.

The executive chef

Brief Encounter, and six more movies

Tannenbaum massacre


Mom steals my fries

Inarguably fucked up in the head

Worms and tomatoes

 "Like hell you will."

 Walking my Stephanie's walk

Face/Off, and six more movies

Hamburger dream

All I ask of the future

Woodstock, and six more movies

What are we celebrating, really? 

Riding the water taxi, for free

Distance is my favorite family value.

Some bus rides

The year's final pettiness

Saying nothing


Safety Not Guaranteed, and six more movies

The mystery of the stink

Between barfings

The Cabinet of Dr Caligari, and six more movies

My gift to Domino's Pizza

The wheelchair observation

Not a plea for help


It's only wasted money.

Pink Flamingos, and six more movies

No Christmas, 2022

No Christmas, 1995

Twister on Christmas Eve

Thought a lot about not

The laws against you

Southern Comfort, and 6½ more movies

Xmas angst and depression

Oh, the frickin' humanities.

Rear Window, and six more movies

Your government, breaking your heart

Doctor's orders

No holiday bird

Klezmer Maniac

Mom's not dead.

Wavy Gravy and Norikonoko

Personal Services, and six more movies

Sticky thighs

A "Berkeley liberal"

The church youth group

Uncle Kyle's house

Paris is Burning, and six more movies

Listening to Jasper

Father of none

"Oooh, fresh bagels!"


The Driver, and six more movies

Lunch with Danny, dinner with Josh

Fenced out

Walk with a friend


Am I street legal?

Trevor and Gerry

Shun them.

The Wiz, and six more movies

The informant

Peanut butter on meat

Nine letters

Doughballs and Sundance

Mystery Train, and six more movies

Andrea and Shannon

Water damage


Walkabout, and six more movies

The free speech ghetto

Clandestine sandwiches

Permit to Place Object on Sidewalk

Charley Varrick, and six more movies

Nobody's touching me, including me.

No shrimp, no doodles

"And how's life?"

JoJo Rabbit, and six more movies

Diane & Jeffrey

Not much of a story

A few cards short of 52

"Rice, steamed vegetables, and more rice, to go, please."

Dumb and deadly daily decisions

Pee-wee's Big Adventure, and eight more movies

Mad dog

Free rides

I'd rather be alone.

The Parallax View, and six more movies

Being a woman 

Flatmates' Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving, 2022


I've Heard the Mermaids Singing, and six more movies

Declining an invitation

Not a Hallmark movie

A walk halfway home

The Laughing Policeman, and six more movies

My favorite bum

Till the end of time

Alone is the baseline.

A Man Called Adam, four more movies, and two TV shows 

Everything is bullshit.

Farmers' Market Follies

Cops and Christians

No knowing who's nuts

Double feature and second thoughts

Lunch at the Golden Spoon

Government shutdown

The Girl Hunters, and six more movies

① No checks, and ② Shut up already.

Three seconds of my life

Drugs Are Really Excellent

Catch My Soul, and six more movies

Ocean People

A nightingale sang in Berkeley Square

Five questions from Mom

Cinemax unscrambled

My good deed for November

Mr Rogers and the Brick Hut

The Freakmaker and Gattaca and five more movies


Getting to know me

Suburbia, and six more movies

"How much?"

What'll do me in, I wonder?

This is not America

It's a Gift, and six more movies

Climb every motherfucking mountain

Lots of bleakness


Looper and Outland, and five more movies

"You sell hot dogs!"


An old man's good old days

Brick and Diary of a Mad Housewife, and five more movies 


Perpetually unimpressed

Never to return

Office Space, and six more movies

Incoming wounded

Just someone with troubles

The end of October

Happiness and Passengers, and five more movies 

A dog's worries

Following my cucumbers

There was no struggle.

"Do you know these people?"

Marijuana cookies, $2

The Howl of Winterland, and six more movies

Gas station stories

Neil Stryker and the Tyrant of Time, and seven more movies 

A bike and a dozen bugbombs

An optional trip

Story time with Gertrude

Ten Days in a Mad-House

No boners for her

Here, lady, want a candy bar?

The Alamo and Coherence, and five more movies

Terry's new job

Sidewalk closed

A 50/50 mix of semen and dishwashing soap

Wild Style, and six more movies

Not a moment I'm proud of

The World, the Flesh, and the Devil, and six more movies

Too much sleep

White like me

A gig I didn't get

Ketchup and mustard art

You missed a corner.

Stranger than Paradise, and six more movies 

The man whose name I've forgotten

Almost lunch with Mom

Ha! I got the last word!

 A brief history of fish

An evening with Loki and Martha

Mom's birthday party

Night of the Comet, and six other movies

Two madmen, and two dreams

Visit to Anderson Valley

The Sparks Brothers, and six more movies

My ride home from Dick's

An untaped schlong

"Yeah, I think I'm OK."

Baseball at my brother's house

The Holy Mountain, and six more movies

Dean's chili

Eddie Anderson at the Oaks

Extremely unsanitary

Sneakers, and six more movies

Dick's under the lights

At Marion's apartment 

Santa Sangre, and six more movies

Mr Irion surprises me.

Books and breakfast

Comes a Bright Day, five more movies, and a TV show

Mostly it's links.

Purple and hairy, and thanks, Hollie.

My fly-bike

Flea ride

The Candy Snatchers, and six more movies

A lot of rot about freedom

One-word newscast

The verdict and the vermin

The Man Who Sleeps, and six more movies 

The twins

Pants and pubes

The world according to Very Abdul

Collapse, and six more movies

Pathetic lives

Ten infernos

Danny's dollars

The meaning of life

Other people's friends

Mom's photos

This week's britches

Is that all it takes to make myself an ass?

"You won't believe how good, how fast, how cheap."

Winter Kills, and five more movies

Two movies and then what am I supposed to say to Tim?

Decent human beings

On glossy paper, opposite an ad for Gucci

Four buses to breakfast and back

Another woman

All the President's Men, and six more movies

Return to Telegraph Ave

Bagdad Cafe, and six more movies 

"Your head, man."

People have to push back.

Mr Black Hat and me

Enjoys long walks

Fear Strikes Out, and six more movies

Cranky all day

Old Asian ladies

Never again 

Dhoom, and six more movies

Mugwort pillow

The lady who folded herself

Wally gets arrested

Native Son, and six more movies

Breakfast for one

My good deed for September

Spy Kids, and six more movies

Listening to Free Radio Berkeley

Going abstract

A day at the ball park

While Mom watched

The Man Who Fell to Earth, and six more movies

Feels like a victory

Breakfast at JJ's with Jay

Burgers about town

The lunch, the movie, and Josh

Tidying up, just in case

Legs, butts, and boobies

Well, smash my stereotypes.

Doing nothing all day

Burn it all down.

Ten things I hate about zines

Someday Soon

The evening news, with Calvin Klein and OJ Simpson

Almost "Shut the hell up"

Mr LaRue's office

A Report on the Party and Guests, and six more movies

Is this allowed? Isn't there a rule?

Strike etiquette

Streetcars, cats, and crickets

Good girls

Far away

 An evening with Grandma H

Bezos and Mussolini 

A big argument

The Stunt Man, and six more movies


Letters to a fat slob

Literally, the end times

Pontypool, Psycho, and five other movies

New houses, but not for you

 "Stay way out there."

Bananas coming and going, with fish in between

"Free to a good home!"

El Dorado, and six more movies 

Pooting publicly


Color lines

That was a pretty good day.


Only slightly odd and awkward



Three lunches

Monday and Tuesday

Bad day on Telegraph Ave

The cockroach and the complainer

I walk alone.

Dropping the ball.

Into the city, and back again

The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane, five more movies, and two TV shows

The Lobby

Adrift in Berkeley

Dinner for three

Curbing the bus

Why she annoys me

Motoring with Mitch

Go straight instead

The kid and the cop


No surprises

The chair that couldn't

The criss-cross exercise


Nod and say nothing.

Something rash

Killing cones

The new Crusades

Absolutely not ready

A brief moment of What the hell?

A slice at Dagwood's


"Jerry's dead."

Too much garlic

How it all ends

A fountain of news

No bus to the bus barn

Enough already.

Breaking Away, and six more movies

Trouble on my right, trouble on my left

An apology, and several complaints

Roaches and schmucks

Retirement home solutions

Three tales from Telegraph Avenue

Studying for the short bus


Saturday's breakfast

A boy named Doug

Hundreds, maybe thousands of ants

As sweet as cherry pie

The Day the Earth Caught Fire, and six more movies

Just another rant

What Lesbians Do

Asphalt picnic

Getting to Georgetown

Ran, and six more movies

The taken shake

Carlotta on Telegraph Ave

Driving the short bus

Wallpaper emergency

The Whole Shootin' Match, and six more movies


That's life on the bus.

Trumpet solo

Another breakfast without breakfast

The invisible Rinaldi

Badlands, and six more movies

Hoot and holler fest

Assault on Precinct 13, and six more movies

Immoral fish, no surprise

Three niqabs

The major mistakes of my life

Me in one word

Community Automotive

Eleven taps on the shoulder

Q: The Winged Serpent, and six more by Larry Cohen

30 mph

Five, and six more movies

Well, holy shit.

Another fine breakfast with my family

A day with the dead

"Sorry, I'm slow."


How to not make friends

Lucky man


The Taking of Pelham One Two Three, and six more movies

A few blocks of walking poetry and jazz

What the hell and why not?

No pretenses

Troll Hunter, and six more movies

Without words on paper

Sharing a house with Dean

Dinner at Denny's with Clay and Dick

Bone: A Bad Day in Beverly Hills, and six more movies

Baxter, and six more movies

"For best service, touch screen and check in here."

No fish stories

Wake in Fright, and six more movies

Fear of boxes

A pee before leaving

What would fat Jesus do?

That boom boom boom shit

Most days it's a challenge

In the Bedroom, and six more movies

 "That's the fam," she said.

Turkey dinner

Packing and moving

Playing by the rules

Deep Cover, and six more movies


A chipped tooth, and a dollar discount

Cranky Thursday

God's wrath every day of my life



Big Fan, Green Room, Next of Kin, and four more movies

Stuck in Limbo

"They're doing their job."

On special assignment for the CIA

The woman from Woodstock

Two kicks

Limbo, and six more movies

Incident at Rite-Aid

The rules of riding the bus


Moon, and six more movies

Now reporting from the east bay

Room in shared house, with dick

Sarah-Katherine and the second bathroom

Pike and Terry

Sleeping Dogs, and six more movies

Family reunion

What would Darwin do?

An island

Rent liberation

Rocky Horror Picture Show, and six other movies


Guess I'll be a Berkeley boy.

Me as the maid?

Mesa of Lost Women, and six better movies

Mitchum as Marlowe, and five more movies

Probably not.

"I just want to finish my coffee."

Somewhere south of Market

Cranky old fart on Monday

Fake maple bars

Library guy's library guide

Please. Stop. Talking.

Proof of meekness

Friday report

Two naps in one afternoon

Giants & Toys, and six more movies

 A walk in the Mission

Wednesday report

Poetry and police

High Life, and six better movies

A dull day at the diary

The day the bus stood still

The philosophy behind the fish 

Talk talk, chop chop, sizzle sizzle


Three bus rides, and one train ride

The Whole Wide World, and six more movies

Dollar Tree bonus burritos

Without spaghetti sauce, please.

Hank Williams with wheat toast and coffee, please.

The Last Starfighter, and six more movies

Bathroom bugs, the resistance, Applebee's, and fentanyl

Six out of seven thumbs up

Lazy cheapskatery

The ten-minute tax

Omicron, and six more movies

Punishment Park, and six more movies

Cleopatra without Elizabeth Taylor, and six more movies

Yesterday's mother

Bodega daydreams

Skin Game, There Are No Fakes, and five sucky movies

Rock-bottom prices

The news on TV

The toaster, the microwave, and the smoke alarm

"Out out out, please." 

Nakano Spy School, and six more movies

Huckleberried alive

Interruption machines

Intentional rats

Free human dignity. Come and get it.

City Lights, Junebug, and five other movies

One fine day on the C

The facts of unsalted butter

The Quiller Memorandum and six more movies

Party of eight

A tale of two burgers, one which wasn't and another which was

Please make payment in full.

Rockin' Metropolis, Trouble in Paradise, and five other movies

Poop and television

Allergic to garlic

Out of talk

Manfish and Primer, and 5 or 6 more movies

Fat walking

Two books I don't recommend

Our fifth flatmate

An Angel at My Table, and six more movies

At the Screaming Baby Library

Adios, Unusualia.

Well, half a damn, maybe.

Mildly mentally ill

No cream cheese left behind

Bullshit, and bite me.

27 minutes

Astounding journeys, $2.75

Meet the flatmates

Mrs Rigby's

My great escape

The Sheridan misconception

Slumber party

A crappy update, maybe once weekly

Big sky country 

24-hour toe service

Letters, we get letters

Seattle or bust

People's Park

Refusing to prosecute Trump is a political act.

North Beach and Berkeley

Ground rules for my family


The damage deposit

She saw the rest of me

No vampires allowed

A known commodity

May I be briefly and predictably grumpy?

Good corporate citizenship?

Her magic wand

Room wanted


Trendy cookies

Drag for every persuasion

A crowded apartment

A shoebox of pitchers 

Luke something: something

How I spent my summer vacation, part 4

How I spent my summer vacation, part 3

How I spent my summer vacation, Part 2

How I spent my summer vacation, Part 1

Too many jackets

Inner journey before the flight

Questions from Quartz

Breakfast, bums, and fish

Douglas shrugged

Keep your distance, keep your masks.

Not-quite connecting with another human

Working on Saturday

A cacophony of none

To the tune of the 1812 Overture

One last argument

Our Daily Bread

Easier than wrapping paper

Nothing left to say

Steph's letter to Isthmus

N-words out the window

Love letter on an index card

Infectious ride to Venice

Mongolia to the rescue!


She's on every shelf.

And to think that I saw it on Market Street

Prodigal son, and all that

Sound vibes

Field of Dreams, and six more movies

The lawyer and the landlord

Things usually work out, until they don't.

23 trains to nowhere

Breakfast at the Diner — #56

A loud love story

Invalid baptisms


An accidental ass

Grand Central Station

The Lair of the White Worm, and six more movies

Saturday on the sidewalk

"Let's keep in touch."

The future, revealed

A perfect shitstorm

A call I won't return

Help, Help, the Globolinks!, and six more movies

Basic drag

It's as easy as that.

The cape that wears me

That wacky old dude, ha-ha.

A correction-pen

Patterns, and six more movies

Still a stranger

Tennyson, anyone?

Guest host

Out of work

Wind and shadows

Weak weed

Ah, April

Out of business

Subject: Remember this?

Head-over-heels in hate

Riding with my dead brother

Square dance and auld lang syne

Model Minority, and six more movies

Please do not publish my name.

Visit to a previous life

Call it history instead.

"Make do."

Grey Rabbit

The Twinkie offense

Unexpected good news

One sentence more than I want

Shadowlands, and six more movies

"I'm a little short on the rent."

Trump for Dummies

Beauty technology

Manifest stupidity

Barge Chilling Beach


The Fundamental Fuck-Up

Nothing unusual so far


Less money, more happy

Rectuma, and six more

Check engine

One good, one bad, and questions in between

It's gonna get way worse.

Four minutes to Van Ness

How to create terrorists

A cruel and monstrous god

Breakfast at the Diner #55

Loud Day

Do the right thing.

Just a kiss

Trump's obituary

Rich dunderhead, poor dunderhead

What Republicans fear

11½ hours

Station Eleven, and six more

Welcome to Aquatic Park

Not a pretty view

At the Oscars

Murder on El Camino

Looking the other way

The next COVID variant

Shall we dance?

Phobias and mental and emotional malfunctions

Forgotten men and street people

Seven movies


Breakfast at the Diner #54

No real complaints

Peace and loud quiet

Blowing stuff up

No more New Yorker

Itsy-bitsy spiders

Same as me

A day off-planet

Effort and patience and generic dish soap

Gunshots and irony

Seven movies

Castro Street

Mustard toast

Poop and other shit

Smooth afternoon


Some links, a few stories

Calcutta at the library

The Christmas party

The memory box

Someone to vote for

"Why do you keep calling?"

Nearly a poop disaster

Sidewalk stories

On the loading dock

Seven more movies

This makes my face smiley.

The voice in my head

Ridiculous man

Breakfast at a different diner

Defeated by a poet

The boy upstairs

The best Christmas ever

A key and a phone

Cranky old man

Seven maybe movies

The view from a different window


Without the South

The shop with two names

Long goodbyes

A fifty dollar day!

The ethics hotline

A communist plot or something

Seven more movies

Call it macaroni.

Old lady-friends


Because I'm an ass

Flirting by mail

Even stupider than I’d thought

Wishing I was somewhere else

Expect less from me.

And there goes Kevin

Seven more movies

My favorite maniac

Say┼Źnara, Roe v Wade.

I'll do anything legal for $5 an hour.

“Who from what?”

Emergency room 

Walk away.

Things could get dicey.

Long odds

Officer Frenzy

Pork, beef, and leather spies


Seven more movies

Futility Enterprises

“The topic tonight is the hippies."

Less of me

Salad bar science

Not-date after not-work

It happened, though.

Kallie's freakout

Pastor Bill and the Chirping Birds

A tale of two e-mails

To be human is to be a dumbshit.


On the phone with Mom

Seven more movies

Masturbation conversation

Six and a half samurai

Don't dis the workers.

Chinese at the bus station

A long talk without talking

Doug's proper office protocol

Hate Man

Lies from Disney

Seven more movies

Surrealist warships

My favorite poop, and other monuments

The 'rally'

Blowing bubbles at 36

Thanks for being there, you.

The answer, of course, is everything.

A visit to Wal-Mart


Calling 9-1-1

A jumbo jet without wings

Not among the P's

Seven more movies

Jennifer's nuts

Zeke's worries


Stupid headline, good article

Owning the city

Rhymes with eyes

The twins are gone.

Introductions all around

Trying to be zen

Nine is too many.

Momma's little boy

Mouse joust

Hawn chobs

Memo from the island

6 foot 11

Seven more movies

Mark of the beast

Reverse sondering


Goodbye, FastCompany

The so-so book

Cheesy tomato cukes

One person can make a difference!

The Finer Diner

They almost got me.

Mr Patel and the pud

Seven more movies

An offer

Make it loud.

A Satanic curse

Who is John Galt?

A little low-level harassment

A Monday without optimism

Technical difficulties

Yvette and Bobby

Flattening three things

My Special K pinch

My penis burns with a flaming itch.

Bonus diatribe

Bad science

The Lollipop Guild

A dream untold

Oh, you want to talk politics?

Seven more movies

Annoying Jenn

Very bad writing

Note on the door

Shut the heck up.

Chia kangaroo

Even if you're never been there, you've been there.

Everybody abuse

The House, at the end

They need a little more time.

The House, at the beginning

And so this is Christmas.

Seven more movies

Black Beauty

Unexpected physics

Cancer got me this job.

Mr & Mrs Wealth

Only the good die young.

Not today

5 simple rules for work 

No sick leave for workers

Holiday pizza 

George becomes Stanley

Next, could someone please sue Microsoft? 

Pickle barrel man

Nothing to complain about

Saturday, December 17, 1994

Hey, space aliens, take me, too. 

An abortion by mail

Where's Jackie Chan's forehead? 

How could I not do this?

A call from HR 

Seven more movies

A nervous lunch 

This will be uninteresting.

Family, friends, and a stranger

Joycelyn Elders & Gimme Shelter

Bimbo man

The meaning of Christmas

Come in from the cold.

No kissing, please.

One undeniable fact 

A lot of us lead pathetic lives.


Seven more movies 


“This ain’t that kind of hotel, toots.” 


Is Jonathan Franzen the greatest writer who's ever written? 

Chains on my ankles, again.

Still waiting 

Don't be a putz like George Bailey.

"Happy girl!"

Breakfast at Tad's

Benzene on my balls 

A serious woman

Witty quips, lies, half-truths and more lies, setups, put-downs, and still more lies 

A zen experience

“The movies are your mistress.” 

Seven more movies

No pooping, no peeing.


Mrs Edwards' Coffee Shop 

A cockroach in captivity

Unanswered questions

Seven more movies 

The web, before giant corporations took control

In living color

A new innovation 

Thank you, nobody.

Taqueria El Castillito 

Fever started long ago

Poop ticket 

Walt Disney’s Wonderful World of Bras

Still life on paper

Song on the radio

Seven more movies

Bum vs Lady 

No longer friends

"I'm not going to die here."

"Do you smell smoke?"

Seven more movies

$2 plastic pinchy picker-upper

Always on the balcony 

Carlotta cries

Whale caroms 

Denise at 22

Loogie unhocked

“If” there are layoffs

“You won't be forgotten.” 

A friend

A library card

The Match

Counselor Troi

Beers with Beatrice

Seven more movies 

Fuck you, Jim Harrison.

One fine day at the grocery store

And there goes Dad. 

Codeine and doobie

Breakfast at the Diner — #52

Soggy and hurting

Medical defense

Tooth trouble

Our Confederate dead

Kissing myself

I don’t even understand the question.

Pulling teeth

4th of July picnic

The family

Visit to Seattle

Union Corners

Why so ordinary?

Seven more zines

Last train of the night

The party house 

Marijuana, LSD, and Tootsie Pops

Can a fat guy survive the summer without air conditioning?

Inside the Rainbow

Breakfast at the Diner — #51

Slugged a guy

Music in a bad mood

How to lose friends and annoy strangers

My brother, and my other brother

Bumbling at Civic Center

The floating bridge

Not in the mail

Seven more movies

Won't you please help?

51 nights in Waco, Texas

Drug deals at work

Suspicious of the broccoli

The end table

Seven more zines

Secret words

Haight Street scene report

The sign on the door

And there goes Margaret.

Blush and eyeliner

Tweaker at the store

Nothing happened.

Seven more movies

“Good morning, Darla.”

And there goes Stu.

The break room

Eventually it gets boring.

Seven more zines

Uh-oh, he's ranting.

That's what freedom is.

"We all miss Charlie."

The opposite of Catholic

The company

The Babs-and-Darla-Edict

Seven more movies

"Please call me."

Pickle dogs

Singalong with Kallie

Seven more zines

An inappropriate workplace conversation

God and guns

Miserable Douchebag, Part 19

Gus and Stan

Blue Angels, my ass.

The office flunky you're looking for

B-movie star

Good luck

Slob manifesto

Seven more movies

The city at night

News without nonsense

Very very frightening

Seven zines

The music of the night

T minus five months 

Underwear, batteries, and beans

Radical laundry

She didn't even say "Uh."

My busy social calendar

Algiers (1938) 

A fuse burns out

Seven more movies

Is Ken Kesey cuckoo?


On the nose

The Rose Bud Movie Palace

A message to management

My grandmother's grandparents

“More human than human, is our motto.”

Infinite flies

"Leave the gun. Take the cannoli."

Never in bluejeans 

Seven movies

The King is coming!

Screw the rotting corpse of Billy Graham.

Habit, not hunger

Double doublecross



Close to the margins

Soul cancer

Science fiction double feature 

Letter from San Francisco

"They gave their lives for their country."

Old noir and science fiction

Money diet

That girl at summer camp

This blog is a zine.

Pina colada and nachos 

Film noir, sci-fi, and tartar sauce


Fall on the rock

I hate writing.

Location # 181

Ignorant assumptions

Breakfast at the Diner — #50

You've got a friend.

"Is there anything else you want us to know?"

Seven women

The 4th of July, 2020

Jeff Koyen of Crank

Please adjust your fine tuning.

Me and Norma Shearer

Drunken Master

A copy of your copy?

Breakfast at the Diner — #49

16 crumpets


On the 8th floor

Republicans' Disease

Now playing at The Strand

The Vientiane Palace

A pretty good day before dust 

"You folks lost?"

Nobody's shrink or guru 

Memo to Management 


The New Yorker

Incident at Walgreens 

Conversation in the cafeteria

The Workplace Improvement Committee

Breakfast at the Diner — #48


"Welcome to Netscape!"

Breakfast at the Diner — #47

Links and leftovers

Breakfast, lunch, and dinner with Mom

Hope you like orange.

Somewhere in Time (1980)

Breakfast at the Diner — #46

Oh, look. It's crocodiles again. 

You may tell yourself, this is not my beautiful house.

The Sincere Cafe

Breakfast at the Diner — #45

Scary women 

Brainstorm (1983) 

Time and Again (book report)

The Ghost Writer (2010)

Breakfast at the Diner — #44                

"They're coming for your guns!" 

Man of La Mancha (1972)

Yes, we have no children. 

Blender the secret cat

This is a pep talk for myself, but you're welcome to listen in.  

Letters to the editor

Middle-school talent show 

Breakfast at the Diner — #43

The Tenderloin at midnight 

The shared shelf

Breakfast at the Diner — #42

A few fewer churches

Call it the blues

Breakfast at the Diner — #41 

I did it, and got away with it.

Black-and-white double feature

Breakfast at the Diner — #40 

The meaning of pi 

This is not a paid advertisement.

Breakfast at the Diner — #39

Pretend you're Sam Donaldson 

One absolute truth

Good thinking, boss.

Breakfast at the Diner — #38 

An unhappy ending 

Almost done

Breakfast at the Diner — #37 

Upstairs neighbor

My crappy job that just got crappier

"Hello, Rebecca." 

Breakfast at the Diner — #36

A day without pants

Lunch with the doomed 

That magnificent deuce

Breakfast at the Diner — #35

Zines and movies are all I got 

Van dreaming

Breakfast at the Diner — #34

Return to sender

We're not Nazarenes.

Late night justice

Breakfast at the Diner — #33

When You Reach Me (book) 


I'll have a cocktail, please.

Breakfast at the Diner — #32

Sidewalk pinball

And there goes Ralph.

And there goes Bruno. 

323 pounds of me

Breakfast at the Diner — #31

We're walking here

The camera can't be uninstalled.

Performance review

Call me Karen.

Breakfast at the Diner — #30

Daily Drama Queen

The mumbling man and me

Monitoring my monitor

Breakfast at the Diner — #29

Any bolt or sprocket

Izzy the rescue cat

Stop, stand, and wait.   

More mumbles and less Maggie

Breakfast at the Diner — #28

“It doesn’t want to drop, huh?” 

"Don't make me go."  

Me and the man upstairs 

Planning for retirement

Breakfast at the Diner — #27

What do you have in you? 

Plans for the weekend

How to make friends and pick up chicks 

Breakfast at the Diner — #26 

Jackie Chan double feature

Free cannoli and cheesecake 

Breakfast at the Diner — #25 


Hello neighbors. You are loved. 

God is love (some restrictions may apply)

Breakfast at the Diner — #24

Just one question

The grass is greener

Drop it

Breakfast at the Diner — #23

Smells like San Francisco 

"You have to put yourself out there."

Breakfast at the Diner — #22

A neighbor knocks 

Out of the ordinary 

Looking out the window of the train

Breakfast at the Diner — #21

A weighted blanket 

My dinner with Agnes

Breakfast at the Diner — #20

Not drunk, not disorderly, just ... lost

No words 

Me and my brother 

Breakfast at the Diner — #19 

Ah, to be young again 

Belching and scratching my 'nads

You are cordially invited. 

"Briefly Noted" 

Breakfast at the Diner — #18 

Aren't you proud to be an American?

Sure, I'll embarrass myself by posting this. 

Mom's visit

Outsource this. 

Third cubicle on the left

Breakfast at the Diner — #17

I am not downloading an app to buy a candy bar. 

That's a wrap.

Uvula, uvula, uvula. 

Breakfast at the Diner — #16 


I'm not going anywhere, ever.

Breakfast at the Diner — #15

An old man babbles about a newspaper 

Heads up about ExpressVPN 

"Call us if it gets worse."

Breakfast at the Diner — #14

Laziness learned from my father

Chopping onions without tears 

Lights out at the Strand

What's Love Got to Do with It 

Breakfast at the Diner — #13 

Never do a stranger's laundry 

Our song 

I'm not insulting you.

But ... if the schools are closed, who's gonna beat me up? 

Breakfast at the Diner — #12 

A gentleman doesn't discuss such things.

The pursuit of happiness 

Physically incapable

Breakfast at the Diner — #11

Simply sondering

Spare change?


Most peculiar, Mama

Breakfast at the Diner — #10

Clearly, someone has a hot plate.

Getting your act together 

Breakfast at the Diner — #9

Six movies in two days

A security issue with Zoom 

My deepest, darkest secret

Breakfast at the Diner — #8 

Reduce your cell phone bill by 100% 

Say something nice. 

Breakfast at the Diner — #7


Things to love about COVID-19 

An elevated throne 

Breakfast at the Diner — #6

Happy birthday to me.          x

Perfect popcorn 

Zero-cost hair-care 

Breakfast at the Diner — #5

Vacuum cleaners 

Endorsed by Louis Armstrong 

Breakfast at the Diner — #4

Doc Bronner's soap 

Actually, you DO want to give me your Social Security number.

Breakfast at the Diner — #3

Long distance is the next best thing to not being there. 

Write notes to yourself. 

Eulogizing Elvis 

Breakfast at the Diner — #2

So I bailed. 

This is the stupidest thing I've seen since yesterday. 

Fun with cockroaches 

Breakfast at the Diner — #1

A movie that changed my life

Acme Amalgamated 

Brush your teeth, kids. 

The 'secret menu' at fast-food restaurants


Books, cheap

Yes, you CAN run away from your problems.  

$20 for a spare toilet

Life advice from a high school dropout 

You can ring my bell.

A stupid and pointless story

It's the landlord's problem

You don't want cops as neighbors.

They / Them / Their

I finally got Beaned 

Bun Man

$50,000 for Donald Trump

The Man from Earth (2007)

The day I became lazy 

Picnic for one


Ten ideas for a better America 

When your dreams exceed your budget 

My new bidet — $15.49

More things that are bullshit

"So I changed my life." 

Lost Horizon (1973)

Helpful hint for dieters

... like tears in rain

Out of the Past (1947)

Kansas City Confidential (1952) 

Abortion in the Bible

Shower thoughts 

Twenty years or less, is my guess


Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956 and 1978)

Things that are bullshit

Corporations are a problem we can solve. 

Welcome to western civilization.

Giving socks

Canceling the cable 

The last rites 

Going through the motions

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